Things I Used To Worry About When I First Had Kids, But Don't Have The Energy To Care About Anymore:
1. Being fair - life's not fair, and if they can learn that lesson early in life, well, that puts them that much ahead of the game. Besides, it's fun to pretend you like one of them better - it drives them crazy. My kids actually argue among themselves over whom I like best. Which is sort of weird, come to think of it.
2. Anything any "expert" says about childrearing - unless, of course, that particular expert happens to have raised 6 or more children without going insane in the process.
3. What my children think about me - it really doesn't matter, because no matter how wonderful I am to them, they're still going to hate me when they are adolescents.
4. Providing expensive toys that "do" things - my kids prefer empty shoeboxes, cartons of craft sticks, duct tape, and garbage bags, even when presented with spectacular alternatives.
5. Going on fancy vacations (fancy, as in anything over, say, 150 dollars) - kids whine no matter where you take them; but their whining irritates you more if you've plunked down a large wad of dough that should have gone into your retirement fund in order to show them a good time. You do realize, don't you, that you can take them on a fancy tour of the European continent, but what they'll remember fondly are mundane things like the ice machines in the hotel corridors? Hey, we've got ice at home, okay?
Things I Worry About Now:
1. One of my kids growing up to be a psychopathic ax-murderer (and the neighbors shaking their heads and saying, "It must have been the homeschooling.").
2. My children letting their kids watch TV non-stop until their little brains melt, all because they didn't get to watch it when they were young.
3. One of my kids marrying a total loser, but not realizing it until they have 3 kids together and she/he leaves him/her and I end up playing host/babysitter to 3 grandkids and a single parent.
4. Any of my children growing up to be the sort of skank who would ever use this website.
And One Thing I Definitely Have To Live Long Enough For:
1. Anna's having a 13-year-old daughter of her own. 30 years may be a long time to wait for an apology, but it'll be worth it.
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