Monday, March 24, 2008

Looking Forward to a Holiday-Free Week...

Whew! We got through Easter without Rachel spilling the (jelly)beans. You see, last week she informed me that there certainly wasn't an Easter bunny. In her words, "A bunny wouldn't wear clothes and come into our house and leave eggs." Oh, okay - but a fat man from the North Pole does land on our roof and come down our chimney. Apparently, she is very selective in her suspension of disbelief.

I know she's 5 already; but compared to her siblings, Rachel's a little Einstein. Usually, our kids are 8 or 9 before they figure out that we're lying to them. I had to make her promise not to disillusion Brian (who is 2 years older) and little Susie. I threatened her, in fact, with no jellybeans if she ruined the magic of the holiday for her more gullible siblings. We take our fantasy pretty seriously around here.

About a year ago, I was "volunteered" to serve a 3-year stint as president of our townhouse community association. I guess everyone thought that with only 6 kids at home, I had extra time on my hands. Also, it was a Bunko night and a little too much wine had gone around, okay? This whole situation is laughable, as I do not know what I am doing. And I don't have any brain cells left to figure it out. Fortunately, someone else is treasurer; and he has promised me that he will have a budget figured out by tomorrow evening's yearly homeowners' meeting. I, in turn, have promised him any number of hand-knitted items if he will agree to cover for my stupidity over the next 2 years. I think that's fair, don't you?

I really hate being in charge of things that people might yell at me about.

And for those of you who were wondering, Anna did not go naked to church Easter morning; instead, she showed up in last year's Easter outfit. Fine with me. Now if I can just find the receipt for that other dress....otherwise, we may have a nifty giveaway here soon. Kalynne? Does your daughter need a sundress, along with a modesty-preserving shrug? Knee-length, looks decent with flats - just don't let her wear it with high heels, unless you approve of the strumpet look for young teens. In which case, my Anna would like to live with you.

I had a weird dream last night, too convoluted to explain here; but the part that stands out in my mind is that I was hitting people in hospital beds (invalids, I think) on the head and yelling, "Be nice to me!" It worked, too - they gave me presents.

I don't want to even think about what that means.

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18 comments:

  1. Sounds like you had an interestingly fun Easter at your family. My daughter would love to have the dress as she insisted on washing hers before wearing and stupid mom shrunk it. It didn't fit.

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  2. Clearly, the dream represents your anxiety over the community association job. It indicates the solution to your problem just as clearly: hit them over the head. Fines, I say; levy fines! Surely someone is leaving their Washington Post on the front stoop a little longer than the covenants permit.

    I'm actually rather fond of the strumpet look for teenage girls. Beastie wore last year's filmy sundress with a white sweater that looked like she'd stolen it from her sister's American Girl doll. (Is that a "shrug"?) With my beach flip-flops. But she might be in the market for another. And I'm in the mood to get her a present, since she did such a stunning Easter Bunny rendition this year.

    (Thanks for the shout-out!)

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  3. My five year old let me know that the Easter Bunny is "just a guy dressed up in a suit." We haven't yet jumped to "what the hell is that strange man doing in our house in the middle of the night dropping eggs?!" There's always next year...

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  4. You make me laugh. Thank you!
    Your teenager doesn't know how good she's got it to have you preserving her dignity (before she's aware she possesses any). More moms should be like you.
    Your 5 year old makes me howl. Yes, there is Santa, but the bunny's a fraud. Bribing her with sugar in exchange for her silence was a brilliant maneuver.

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  5. Let Anna know that there is at least one other mom out there holding her line against the "baby hooker" look. And my daughter's not happy about it either.

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  6. I think it probably means that you want people to be nice to you. (which they should anyway)

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  7. We're on shifting ground at our house with the Easter Bunny, and Santa Clause. They're safe for now, but my kids figured out the Tooth Fairy a while back.

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  8. You have the best dreams!

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  9. My son had a little "anti-bunny" outburst yesterday morning... AFTER he'd collected the eggs, of course.

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  10. Is it terrible that I hate the Easter Bunny? He freaks me out. At least Santa looks somewhat normal, but a 6 foot tall half human half rabbit thing that brings you candy? *shudder*

    By the way, I mentioned you in a post about men and housework. I hope you don't mind.

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  11. I was really looking forward to you post on Anna's naked Easter Sunday. Maybe next year.

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  12. Great (and warped) dream!

    My 7 yo finally figured out the Easter bunny thing. It was a bit sad but also a relief.

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  13. Love this post recapping Easter. I think I may kill the Easter Bunny at our house next year. Strange concept that I cannot creatively tie back to the Resurrection no matter how much I try to creatively perform 6 degrees of separation.

    KEEP BELIEVING

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  14. Too funny! The Easter bunny was never a real thing when I was a kid, we always knew it was my parents, but we are (I hope) making it a little more real for our kids.

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  15. I always wondered why people agree to be in charge of things like community boards. They ply you with wine until you say yes? That must be how it works.

    I'm sure you'll rock. If people yell at you, yell back.

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  16. I don't like being yelled at either. It just makes me want to yell back. And cry. Neither is helpful.

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  17. Yes. the dress. I wish someone would make more than one modest one per town. The dream has to have something to do with being a mom, I'm sure of it.

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  18. "I really hate being in charge of things that people might yell at me about."

    Me too.

    Your posts are like a good Seinfeld episode. You are incredibly funny as you go here, and then there, and it always ties together in the end.

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