Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Near Death Experiences and A Giveaway!

Hi! I cleaned my toilet 4 times last night! Another 6 times this morning! I am a toilet-cleaning goddess!

That's what happens, you know, when you have the stomach virus from hell that keeps coming back. Friday, Sunday, and again today! New and improved! In between toilet cleanings, I lay curled up on the couch in a fetal position. And decided that I was suffering from nothing less than end stage colon cancer. Isn't that fun? My only hope was to get well enough to go to the endodontist for my root canal appointment at 12:30. Why I was bothering to take care of my teeth when I was obviously not long for this world is beyond me.

So it wasn't shaping up to be a great day.

But now it is almost dinner time, my stomach seems to have jelled back into one solid mass, and the root canal didn't hurt! I am the world's biggest dental wimp, so that is saying a lot. Of course, the novocaine hasn't totally worn off yet. But have no fear - I have some prescription codeine tablets just in case. Because I cannot afford to lose another night's sleep.

Larry hasn't even called to ask how I am. He's in such trouble.

Since I was spending so much time in the bathroom, I grabbed a book from the stack on my nightstand to read in there. It just so happened that it was Jen Singer's You're A Good Mom. Jen is the blogger behind MommaSaid.net, where, if you will recall, I won the (ahem) prestigious Housewife of the Week award last December. So, naturally, I like Jen. And when she sent me her new book (complete with a very cute promo package) over a month ago, I had every intention of reading it right away and telling people about it (because I'm easy like that).

Well, here we are, many weeks later, and the only reason I didn't finish the book sooner was because I was too busy blogging. Also, I couldn't find the book for a while. And...and...the dog ate it. Anyway, I finished it last night; and, um, Jen? I don't really know how to review a book. I'll just give it the old college try, all right?

Essentially, it is a humorous book about "14 Secrets to Finding Happiness Between Super Mom and Slacker Mom." (I stole that from the cover.) Jen writes about what I and many other moms have discovered - good enough is good enough. Don't center your whole life on the kids. Don't overload them with activities. You don't have to amuse them all the time.

Only, she says it way funnier.

I particularly enjoyed her diatribe against specialized kid soccer leagues and extended soccer schedules. You see, I think soccer should be played in a local league for 8 weeks and no more, fall and maybe spring. Because I am sort of lazy about getting my kids to these things and I don't like kids' activities taking over our lives. But, where I live (and, apparently, where Jen lives, too) the season can stretch into overtime (I had a friend whose son was playing on Thanksgiving Day) and parents travel all over the place to allow their kids to play in a "better" league. I hate that. But, then, I know nothing about sports. Jen, however, lends credibility to my anti-elite-soccer stance; she actually played college soccer and coaches in her local kid leagues. And she feels the same way I do! So there! You can read all about it in her chapter titled, "Don't Let the Youth Sports Cartel Run Your Life."

Thank you, Jen. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

This is a good book for moms with kids no older than 12. Because, if you haven't figured out this stuff by then, you probably are the Super Mom type she warns us about. I'm thinking I would like to give this book away to one lucky commenter; I just have to figure out how to mail it without y'all figuring out where I live. (Wow! I'm doing a giveaway! Just like the real bloggers!)

So comment on this post and let me know if you would like to be entered in the contest. I don't know how to do those random number generator thingies, so I will probably have one of the kids pick a name out of a hat. We'll try to be fair, I promise.

49 comments:

  1. I'm a give-a-way whore. Put my name in the hat!
    I sure hope you are over that stomach flu! Those are the worst!

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  2. AnonymousMay 21, 2008

    I'm new to your blog, does that count against me? If not - throw me in there too! I want that book!

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  3. Oooh, pick me, pick me!! We have resisted the Sports Cartel thus far. My cousin recently emailed me listing this insane schedule of activities her kids (and thus she) were involved in, and when I expressed sympathy--I thought that was her point, or else why list days and times to me? I was trying to be nice--anyway, she send me a missive on how all of this craziness is teaching...something. Something that sounded positive and rehearsed, and hopefully she's too busy to track me around the Internet like my sister-in-law used to do. (I should just shut up now.)

    By the way, you have a label just for stomach virus posts. That's just not right. Feel better soon, and you should have made Anna clean the toilet. ;)

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  4. I would love to have that book! I am a little freaked out by the fact that you were reading it in the bathroom thought.

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  5. Put my name in! If you have a P.O. Box put that as the return address!

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  6. As the mother who thinks peeling potatoes is great for hand-eye coordination and calls weeding the garden "science class," I think I should be in the pool for this fantastic-sounding book.

    My daughter, who has heard the phrase "being bored is your own fault, you should be able to find something to amuse yourself" so many times that she quotes it to my babysit kids, might disagree. But luckily she's too busy organizing a neighborhood book writing party to get involved right now.

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  7. I'd love to enter. I do believe I fit somewhere between SuperMom and SlackerMom but I'm not telling you which end I'm closer to...

    Kari

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  8. Doesn't cleaning the toilet that many times in one day kinda qualify you as super mom?

    I think so.

    Count me in for your offical "I have arrived" bloggy giveaway.

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  9. Oo! Oo! Oo! Put me in! Maybe I should just send you a picture of my house and you'll see what a slacker I am and how much help I need and take pity on me and cheat for me and totally say that you did a drawing but in reality just sent it to poor pathetic me. For the sake of the kids. Think of the kids.

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  10. ME ME! Enter me! Pick me! I have a clump of very small children!

    But more importantly, I am totally confused about why the hell you are cleaning your toilet when you are in the midst of a shitstorm. That is ridiculous. It is like going through a carwash in the middle of a blizzard. Give yourself a break, lady! And save the toilet clean-up for Larry when he gets home -- tell him that's what he gets for not checking on you.

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  11. I would love that book just for the chapter on youth sports. :)

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  12. What Karen said.

    At least you're throwing up in the bathroom, though, right? And not in bed or on the carpet where you have to deal with clean-up?

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  13. a good friend pointed me in your direction a couple of posts ago and I love your blog! I'm definitely interested in the give a way...thanks for entering me.

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  14. AnonymousMay 21, 2008

    glad you're feeling better... I had 6 kids in soccer for about 3 years and I thought soccer had taken over the world, not just my family. I would have given anything to op out of the whole thing! Count me in!

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  15. Put my name in the hat! yeah.

    Oh and you could send it when you go out of town next time or just tell whom ever wins you send it laborday weekend. Isnt that the weekend your going to a family wedding?

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  16. I hope you feel better. That sounds fierce.

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  17. AnonymousMay 21, 2008

    I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who hates driving kids to soccer! I hope you're feeling better. Stomach bugs are the worst!

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  18. Memememememeeeee! I have five kids and none have hit 12 yet, so I definitely deserve the book! I won't even think about you being on the ehem,.. potty when you read it,.. hmm,.. maybe I'll go buy the book myself,... : )

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  19. I would LOVE to be entered in this contest. The book sounds right up my alley. Right now. I MUST READ IT!

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  20. AnonymousMay 22, 2008

    Since my oldest child is almost-6-years-old and I'm prego with #4, I think this is the book for me! :) Please enter me in the drawing. Thanks!

    I hope you feel better soon.

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  21. Please put my name in the hat.
    Be sure to either get new toothbrushes or disinfect the current ones to help get rid of the virus.

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  22. Two irrefutable reasons why you have to send it to me:

    (1) I need to hear the anti-elite soccer thing from a former college soccer player, preferably before I leave at 3 a.m. Saturday to drive Beastie to Jacksonville so she can be seen by more coaches of college teams for schools she doesn't want to attend. And before I write another $475 check for Trooper-Racer to attend a camp at a school he doesn't want to attend so he can improve his chances of getting an offer from the school he wants very badly to attend.

    (2) I already know where you live!

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  23. I can't get past the idea that you're being visited, yet again, by the stomach-virus-from-hell! I mean, enough is enough!!

    Maybe having the word "vomit" in your title is jinxing you.

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  24. I hope I get the book, even though two of my kids are over 12. With the 7 and 5 year olds I often feel like I'm starting from scratch anyway.

    I wrote about my feelings towards soccer on my blog: http://4evermom.blogspot.com/2008/03/ridiculousness.html

    It is absolutely crazy. Around here we're holding tryouts for the "elite" travel teams for under 7 soccer. Totally not kidding. You just wonder...are these parents insane?

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  25. Are you taking enough vitamins??

    Put me in for the give-away, sounds like an ideal book for me. Fingers crossed.

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  26. I hope your toilet stays clean for a while - that sounds awful!

    I would LOVE to read that book - sounds like it confirms many of my thoughts...

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  27. Sure, put my name in the hat, sorry about that stomach flu. I know lots of people who had it, thought they kicked it, and got it back.

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  28. Put my name in, please... I need this book to be prepared as we are reaching school age/sport age with our three boys (4-4-5)! I need to know how NOT to let life take over and let the kids be kids, dirty faces, mussed hair and all.

    Send to a friend in another city and have them mail it... just a thought.

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  29. AnonymousMay 22, 2008

    Add me to the giveaway list! I have a 4yr old, 3yr old, and 11month old, and ANYONE who is willing to tell me its ok NOT to be June Cleaver AND make me laugh is a must-read in my book!

    (Right now I am busy convincing myself that the dirt in the house is GOOD because its helping them build a strong immune system. ditto for when I found the baby EATING the sand in the sandbox...)

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  30. Oh, the sports cartel! I hear ya'. I'm of the 8-weeks variety myself, but the guilt, oh the guilt! Hope your mouth is feeling better! And your stomach, obviously.

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  31. Silly you! Don't you realize that these "superior" athletes go on to receive college scholarships? I mean, so what if it cost you $30 large over the years to have your kid in the "premiere" league. So WORTH it! ;)

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  32. I love giveaways! Put me in the hat please!

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  33. AnonymousMay 22, 2008

    I gave your teenager management tricks to the other Mummys at school this afternoon - they thought the phone call was especially wizard wheeze, and will all be using it!

    Thank you!!!!

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  34. So sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. Again.

    When will this end? It sounds to me like you need a vacation somewhere tropical. Sans kids.

    I have friends whose children are involved in a different sport each season. The football season runs into the basketball season which runs into the baseball season which runs into the soccer season........
    I get kind of tired of hearing how many practices they have to go to, and how they can never make plans for Saturdays due to the marathon of games.
    Hey, who signed them up for it anyway??

    I would love to be in the drawing! Please put my name in.
    You could always send the book to Kalynne and have her send it to the winner.
    Hope you get feeling better.

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  35. OOOH, OOOH, ME, ME!!!
    My kids play no organized sports because I refuse to drive the family crazy for the sake of Tee-ball! Maybe when they are a bit older...we'll see. I have a "one activity at a time" rule. We try.
    I'd love to read her book, but i'll buy one if I'm not the "winner".
    Blessings, EJT

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  36. While I currently only have three kids (ages 3 and 6 month twins), I read your blog daily so I can see what I might be in store for.

    I would love to be entered into your contest!

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  37. Baseball is about as deep as I go into the sports cartel. Getting three kids to three different fields at the same time is daunting enough for anyone--I'd love to hire a super mom and outsource the driving to her.

    I'd love a chance to win the book, oh, and to be your new BFF!

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  38. Sign me up! Not that I need further encouragement to not base my life around my kids.

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  39. AnonymousMay 22, 2008

    Hope you are feeling better. I am just starting the whole soccer thing with my daughter and I will be quite happy to just do 8 weeks in the fall.

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  40. I will leave a comment, but just because I like you. That must be a really, really bad stomach virus if it makes having a root canal a cake walk. Please don't give it to me.
    I have given up on the whole parenting thing. We are just trying to survive here. Besides, most of my kids are already ruined, and no parenting book on the planet can prepare you to raise a developmentally, cognitively delayed, medically fragile child. I need chocolate, and laughter, which is why I read your blog! Thanks.

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  41. Glad you're still alive. You're made of stronger stuff than me because I would have changed my appointment. The book sounds great!

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  42. Wow, I really hope your feeling better soon.
    Of course I would love to be entered. I really could use the 'your good enough plug' right now. But what mom doesn't need that extra shot?
    I think your family has had the flu enough times this last winter, that you should be set for 3-4 years, right?

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  43. AnonymousMay 23, 2008

    I don't need to enter as my kids are grown. But as far as mailing the book, put the winner's address for sender as well as the receiver. The only thing that will reveal anything is the cancelation stamp the post office does and that will only reveal the zip code. Margie

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  44. I would like to read the book. but mail to Japan is a bit far. On the plus side I am so far away your address means nothing HA HA!

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  45. AnonymousMay 23, 2008

    I have to say I'm surprised and pleased to find so many people feel the same way I do about youth sports. I thought when I wrote "You're a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either)" that parents would storm my house with pitchforks and torches, demanding that I recant or burn my college soccer sweatshirt.

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  46. Gimmie, gimmie. Count me in for the contest.

    I love how diarrhea so often leads to profound life insight.

    Hope you are feeling better...

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  47. If it is not too late, throw my name in the hat. Don't worry, I have an address in the states!

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  48. AnonymousMay 24, 2008

    Oh that book sounds awesome! Especially since I have become even MORE of an avid fan since we are in the beginning stages of teenagerhood here. Also we don't do organized sports. PLEASE enter me!!

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  49. Of the 5 old enough for sports, one is in girl scouts and little league and one is in little league-both on the same team. They have religious education during the school year. Even if I wanted to have them involved in anything else, I don't want to spend the time or the money drive everywhere.

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