Saturday, July 12, 2008

Back Off, Man - I'm A Scientist

Remember this post? Apparently someone over in the Mars, Inc., public relations department took it seriously. I just received this e-mail:

I know from reading your post from June 27th, "A Willy Wonka Nightmare," that you are interested in Mars, Incorporated, IBM and the USDA-ARS's plan to sequence the cocoa genome.

If you still have questions about the project, I hope you will consider attending a conference call taking place this Wednesday afternoon, July 16th, with Dr. Howard-Yana Shapiro, Ph.D., global director of plant science for Mars, Incorporated. Dr. Shapiro will be taking questions from bloggers interested in Mars' work with the cocoa genome.


Please let me know if you are interested in attending. Call details will be circulated to those interested as soon as they are available.






So, if any of you have questions you would like me to ask this scientist, please tell me. And if someone could enlighten me as to how a conference call works, that would be great. Though I still would have preferred an offer of free chocolate product...


[Anyone know where that post title comes from?]




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30 comments:

  1. That is to funny. But seriously. You think Mars would have figured out how to send chocolate through the internet by now......

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  2. Cool - I'll ask if they're working on it.

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  3. I'd like to know if this means they're going to make their chocolate chocolate-flavored again or if they're simply looking for ways to keep their stuff brown and of a chocolate-like consistency while subtracting as much flavor as possible as other companies have done.

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  4. Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I'm a scientist. From Ghostbusters!

    Do I win a prize?! Chocolate perhaps?

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  5. Wooooo. Conference Call? I'm the expert. They give you a phone #. You call it and you sit there and listen.

    ;-)

    Ask if there's any plans to cross chocolate genes with coffee plant genes so I can stop buying two products.

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  6. I believe that would be from Ghostbusters?

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  7. I think you should go for it...

    ...but I'm with Madge - it's really lame they can't do virtual choccies!

    ...BTW have you heard of the chef that's revealing their recipes...so you can make them at home!!

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  8. Can you ask them when there is going to be a definitive study on the benefits of chocolate and old age?

    Why does chocolate not taste the same now as it did ten, twenty, even thirty years ago?

    finally--

    Why are the chocolate bars smaller today than they were in my history and why do they cost more? Okay, I already know the answer to that one, but maybe it will make the good Doctor squirm a little. :)

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  9. Ask them if they can invent a candy bar that I can eat that won't go directly to my hips. And still tastes good.

    That chocolate through the internet thing sounds pretty good too.

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  10. Ask them why they got rid of the ORIGINAL Mars bar. It was flat and about 3 inches long and only a half an inch high and it had (I think) almonds on top, covered in chocolate and maybe nougat inside? I remember them from when I was a kid and they stopped making them and I want them to die.

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  11. What exactly is 'nougat' and why can't I buy it in the grocery store?

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  12. I think you should call in. They will send you a number to call in with and a password. When you dial in, it asks for the password which you enter and usually press the pound key. You are then in on a call with lots of other folks and you can listen or speak. My biggest problem is trying not to talk when someone else is talking as you can't see people and it's hard if there are a lot on the call. I bet it would be a hoot - keep us posted on your "experiment"

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  13. You're making this up.

    Seriously?

    You just keep giving me more reasons to love you.

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  14. Nice that somewhere there knows how to READ!

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  15. That is hilarious!! Maybe you can ask them if they have figured out ow many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

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  16. Bill Murray's character in "Ghostbusters."

    Is that email for real?!

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  17. Ghostbusters.

    I just saw a retro ghostbuster shirt at Target and almost bought it for my younger brother.

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  18. I have no idea where the title comes from, BUT I think you should take the conference call. Ask lots of questions too! It'd be fun to mess with them a bit don't ya think?

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  19. Genome, schmenome. Just show me the chocolate!

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  20. So what did you win? :>

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  21. Hey you won, you know! I just checked it out! Congratulations :) Nice guilt-manip of us all too...I'd vote for you again just for that :) You're a real mother :)

    I think this email is false. But if it is real, tell them that not only is America behind the rest of the industrialized world in our health care and our math, science and geography scores, but American chocolate is Truly Pathetic. Tell them to lose the wax and start adding in real chocolate, and then maybe I'll start buying it again. In the meantime, I'm sticking to my imported-from-Europe dark chocolate. Tell them that from me! Thanks.

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  22. Congrats on winning! Woo hoo!
    And I wonder how they got a hold of your post? Did I miss something somewhere?
    Did you send it in? Or are they lurking and watching?

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  23. I've got something for you :)

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  24. Bill Murray - Ghostbusters. Keep 'em coming man!

    Yeah, I second Madge's idea to see how Wonkavision is coming. Then you could conference call and dine on those sumptuous chocolates they zapped over to every one at the meeting. Licking chocolate off your fingers would entertain you as you listened to Dr....drone on about sequencing the genome of the cacao plant.

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  25. Peter Venkman...heh, heh, extra points for the character name?

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  26. I know, I'm a competitive suck-up. I can't help the way I was created.

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  27. Ask them if their plans for sequencing the cocoa genome include potential genetically engineered plants. Then, what the benefits to that will be, and the potential risks. And then (this will get them all riled up) ask if they plan to label their products as genetically engineered.

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  28. Ghostbusters

    It's just funny to me that someone took you seriously. Did they not read the rest of the post?

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  29. That makes me giggle. Are you going to be involved? So Scientific of you.

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