Tuesday, September 30, 2008

When Good Bloggers Get Desperate...

[Edited to add: I love Sue. I am also insanely jealous of her popularity and her funniness. This post is meant to make fun of my jealousy, not of Sue. Apparently I don't write well enough to get that point across without hitting you over the head with it. Got it? Good.]

Okay, I've got a slight problem. You see, Sue over at Navel Gazing has never really forgiven me for winning that Imperfect Parent contest. She has spent the last few months thinking of ways to get me back. And here is her latest ploy: begging readers to favorite her on Technorati. Yeah, begging...as in groveling...just to raise her "authority," whatever that is.

That's not all - she's also bribing people to leave comments. 50 dollars, people! As if she doesn't get enough comments already....Boy, she doesn't mess around, does she?

You know, Sue, I'm worried about you. Blogging can be a dangerous thing. At first you're just another homemaker with kids who thinks, "Gee, I'll start a blog. It'll be fun!" And then, before you know it, you're practically prostituting yourself around the worldwide web just to keep your numbers up. It's sort of like those people who go to Vegas (ooh, sorry, Sue, didn't mean to bring up your sleazy lover!) to do a little gambling for the weekend; but 2 weeks later you find these same people sleeping in a Vegas gutter, wearing week-old clothes and clutching a Big Mac that some pitying passerby tossed their way.

The siren call of blog stats is a slippery slope, if you don't mind a mixed metaphor.

That's why you will never find me begging people to favorite me on Technorati - not even when it is really easy to do, by just clicking on that little green and white button over there to the right. You know, like this one - right here.

Add to Technorati Favorites

(Are you back yet? I mean, you did test the link, right?)

Nope, I would never do that, Sue; because it probably wouldn't make much difference. So I'll just have to pretend to be satisfied with my pathetic 25-comment average per post. At least I know that the people who comment here aren't just doing it for the cold, hard cash. Because I don't have any.

P.S. Let me know if I win that 50 bucks. The kids are whining that they're hungry again.
P.P.S. I can send you that Imperfect Parent trophy, as you are apparently desperate for positive feedback. Why don't you scratch out the name of my blog and write "Navel Gazing" on it with a Sharpie or something?
P.P.P.S. Mom always liked you better.

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31 comments:

  1. Nice use of product (Technorati in case you missed it) placement!

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  2. You crack me up.

    And, yeah, I'll vote for you.

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  3. Hey fifty dollars is fifty dollars, and if all it takes is a comment.........

    I just checked, and she is currently up to 193 comments and counting.
    I think I remember seeing a comment there from you.

    What is this "technorati" thing anyway?

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  4. Hahaha! You crack me up.

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  5. well I think it works, I just posted a comment on her blog...
    so I let one on yours too to be fair...
    But don't come and ask me to share if I win the 50 bucks...
    I'm not THAT fair.. :p

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  6. Haumph. Well, I favorited both of you, so I can't possibly be accused of favoritism.

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  7. Of course, the Matron does NOT obsessively check her numbers and wonder WHY she can have nearly 200 readers some days but like, 13 comments? Not that she's given this one whit, one thought, one entire afternoon scheming.

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  8. I couldn't see the technorati badge because the stumble one was so large...

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  9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA Great post! Sue provides an awful lot of material to poke fun at, doesn't she? And of course that's what good friends do...

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  10. Wait, what's going on? If I click that technorati, you send me 50 bucks?

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  11. This is twisted.
    I like it.

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  12. SEND ME THE TROPHY OR YOUR BLOG GETS IT.

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  13. LOL. Love you.

    "The siren call of blog stats is a slippery slope."

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  14. 25 comments a post and you're complaining? That clanging sound I hear must be your big brass ovaries. :D

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  15. Perhaps some people who complain about their "pathetic 25-comment average per post" should remember that some other people might still get excited when their own comment total hits the double digits.

    I am such a sad sack. I think I'll go eat worms.

    Now that the time for sarcasm has passed, what is the difference between Stumble It, Technorati, Google Reader and "Following" a blog on Blogger? How many different ways to read your favorite blogs can there possibly be?

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  16. Poppy and Mrs Smith - Sue can post something that says, in effect, "I have nothing to say today" and she will get 150 people telling her she's a laugh riot. And that's on a slow day...

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  17. Too funny! This is exactly what happens when someone sells out. Stay true to yourself, SC! Save your money for yarn!

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  18. Okay, now I'm just embarrassed that you weren't already on my Technorati favorites.

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  19. But the thing is she is a laugh riot. Even when she has nothing to say. Why? No idea.

    You are fun too. See, I'm here; that's gotta mean something.

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  20. You're fun too. Really.

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  21. I can't figure out how she does it, either. It kills me.

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  22. okay, i clicked on it. i still don't quite understand what it does.

    btw, i find you incredibly funny.

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  23. Quit your whining S.C. LOOK you have 34...count 'em... 34 people who "follow" you. Ummm hummm. How many do I have? Eight. Eight is Enough. Right? Isn't it enough? Don't answer that. It is my own internal rhetorical question. And my mantra - they love me. They really really love me.

    Popularity. Phhhhhhhhttttttt.

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  24. Well, now you have 9. I must not have seen the widget on your blog before, or I would have done it sooner!

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  25. Bah, I've been blogging since way before it was even called that and I'm still lucky if I get more than 5 comments per post.

    That's including my own responses.

    And you've already won an award, sheesh. Quit yer bitching and just be happy that we all love you no matter how many comments or awards you've got.

    Isn't our love enough?

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  26. You're a silly girl. Maybe her admirers are all vocal, and yours are quiet and intellectual. :)

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  27. I want to whore myself for comments but fifty bucks? Too steep. I will just continue to make witty observations about life and create works of art and have them all but somewhat, most of the time except for the odd post that I often wonder about, ignored.

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  28. The way to raise your ratings is to get linked by other blogs/sites. Comments has nothing to do with it. And she should be paying more attention to her Alexa rating, that's the one that mtters.

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  29. Forgive me for being pedantic... but offering $50 for comments isn't selling out; it's a Buyout.

    Love ya SC - nobody wants you to be like anybody but you.

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