Wednesday, November 05, 2008

As The Food Turns: Freedom Edition

Well, let's put all that election stuff behind us, shall we? Enough of politics absorbing all my time and attention, enough of blue/red distinctions dividing us. Instead, we need to focus on the common ground that is our refrigerators. We all have items begging to be released from the depths of our iceboxes, deep dark menu secrets that we try to hide not only from those who know us best, but even from ourselves. Well, this is the weekly feature where Suburban Correspondent bares all, as it were, and exposes the truth about her housekeeping habits.

We have surprisingly few eligible candidates right now. Wait! Did I say candidates? I meant, containers. We have only 4 containers to photograph this week, and....




Hey! How did that newspaper get there?! Sheesh. Let's try that again.




Okay, that's better. Where was I? Oh, yes...I don't know what is in the bottom container. They may be cooked pinto beans that I put in the freezer to use at some later point. (Stop laughing at me. I can dream, can't I?) The problem with Gladware (or at least its cheap imitations) is that, once frozen, it becomes very brittle. Then, when it comes falling out of the freezer (which happens all the time around here), it shatters. So this container (and its contents) have to go.

Next up - some sausage patties. No one liked them. I don't want to talk about it, really.

Second from the top are leftover refried beans which no one noticed until it was too late. And on top of that are some canned baked beans from Lord knows when.

So, as I do every Wednesday, I will release all these items, as it were, from their prolonged bondage. I can almost hear them chanting as I remove them from the storage container shapes that have defined them for so long, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Coming up tomorrow: kids, and vomit, and mice. I promise.

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18 comments:

  1. I so need to get this organized so there are only a few expermiments lurking in the depths of my fridge at any given time... the girls are supposed to clean it out once a week before trash day, but we know how that goes.
    Just out of curiousity, why did you keep sausage patties nobody liked? I know I know but I had to ask. ;)

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  2. This is one of the funniest things I've read today. I completely get and appreciate your humor :)


    ...even if I do disagree with your choice of candidate :)

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  3. You crack me up. How DID that newspaper get in there? ;-)

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  4. I have been in definite need of some mice and vomit, so can't wait for tomorrow.

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  5. We have vomit at our house! Does that help? ;)

    (Oh, and secretly, I'm so glad that there's going to be some mop-up coverage of the election, plus some coverage of the "transition" -- 'cause I just can't go cold turkey!!!)

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  6. I really need to clean out my fridge.
    I haven't had time to do it today because I've been spending my time taking care of the vomiting kid.

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  7. On a brighter note, I did find out that the Scotchguard on the carpet seems to be working.

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  8. We had puke last night. I am so glad to see that you are freeing your leftovers.

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  9. After I saw your post I cleaned out my frig. thanks I needed that.

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  10. Oh, SB, you crack me up! AGAIN.

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  11. Ugh--the shattering Gladware--I suffer that, too.

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  12. To Jo: That came out really awkwardly.

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  13. That's good! I hadn't noticed it until you pointed it out. Perhaps we can add "freeing one's leftovers" to the list of barf synonyms we were working on earlier this year?

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  14. Rushbaby, insert intensely funny for awkwardly and you have it!
    And if your kid vomits just right, there will be much puking all around. Thank goodness it was just the one.

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  15. Huuby and i both get paid tomorrow. The fridge and freezer are almost empty. It is time to clean it before I go to the store?

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  16. The leader of the free world is out and your fridge, mice and vomit is back in. That's cool.

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  17. I enjoy these weekly posts, but I am too embarrassed to post my own.
    Cheap plastic tubs falling out of freezer happens here, too. Sadly, it's usually a quart of homemade spaghetti sauce instead of pinto beans.

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  18. Thank you so much for all the giggles and what's up with all the beans, they are all beans this time..

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