Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Sick Much?

I called the doctor yesterday to request a blood test for Anna. "I think she has mono," I told him. "Her best friend has it, her neck glands are swollen, and she says she's tired." "Is she sleeping an abnormal amount?" he asked.

Ah, that's a stumper! What is an abnormal amount of sleep for a teen, anyway?

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Okay, here's my favorite blog post today - Viv has 6 kids, one probably has the flu, and the doctor suggested "isolating" her. This man was apparently not raised in a human family. When Viv laughed (maniacally, she says), he advised her to send the other kids off to her mother's.

Hmmm, let's see...."Hey, Mom, I know you're elderly and all and the flu could kill you; but could you take these small children who might be incubating the virus off my hands for a week?"

Reminds me of the time I had bronchitis the week before Christmas and a doctor advised me to "get some rest." Are all medical professionals this delusional?

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19 comments:

  1. OMG yes! What is a normal amount of sleep for a teen? I think they would sleep 18 hours a day, or at least our Nicolette would.

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  2. Not only are medical professionals this delusional, they also doubt that we have any knowledge whatsoever of our own anatomy. I loathe doctors.

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  3. I would have laughed maniacally too. I'm really not convinced that eight years is a sufficient amount of time to truly educate all doctors. Some, who never had much commonsense to begin with, might need a few additional classes.

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  4. Yes, I once had a dr tell me I was so tired because I have 4 kids!?! I said are you serious??? I always have energy no matter what time I go to bed or what time I get up...later was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.. I think any mom with more then 1 child has this!! LOL

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  5. My husband is a physician, and one time when he had the flu he made the mistake of telling me that our chair hurt his back after reclining in it for two days straight. There may have been some muttering by me about how much I would love to have the opportunity to discover that little tidbit for myself. It's possible my eyes began scanning the ceiling for spider webs in a rolling sort of way.

    What came next was the best discovery of all... He looked at me with complete panic in his eyes and said "Oh No! What if YOU get this? I can take time off from work, but you can't, we need you." Panic I tell you.

    He completely gets this mothering gig. I'm lucky.

    Cindy

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  6. It would seem that in exchange for that advanced degree they must have to hand over all common sense. I get similar moronic advice from health care professionals. My favorite was "nap while your baby is napping." Because I can comfort a colicky baby AND watch my toddler and run the house all at the same time, right? GAH!

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  7. That's what I appreciate about my pediatrician. When I say "what are the chances of the other kids getting this?" she says "they will. Just call in and I'll fax a prescription in for them." LOVE her for that. She's realistic.

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  8. I think so. Someone at the library where I work said we should put up a sign in the Children's Room, telling parents to keep babies from putting toys in their mouths. Same logic; yeah, that's gonna happen.

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  9. Hey, glad I found you! You are hilarious! Can't wait for more!!

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  10. This is why I love it when I am blessed enough to get a family practice doc for the entire family -- those types (esp. a DO instead of MD) are less likely to say or think crazy things.
    Unfortunately, I don't currently have one of those kinds of docs.

    Also, I might have the sleep needs of a teenager. I can go a few days on minuscule amounts of sleep, but then I have to have the rest of the week spent in obscene number of sleep hours. Like last night/this morning. Good thing my kids are semi-self-sufficient in the mornings. (emphasis on SEMI)

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  11. It's a Catch-22 . . . you either get the doctor with the awesome bedside manner (and no actual doctorly skills) or the one who is smart as all get out, but is clearly lacking in the common sense department!

    Hope the tired vs. mono thing gets figured out quickly!

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  12. I think that a teen would have to sleep well-past eighteen hours before I'd considered it a possible sign of illness. Sleep-breathe-eat-askforrides-sleep-eat-eat-sleep-askformoney-sleep.

    Doctors. Hm. Not always on the same planet I'm on.

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  13. My daughter had mono last year at the beginning of her junior year. We have no idea where it came from, but it seemed to come and go. She'd be feeling better, then she'd go to school, try and do too much, then the next day she couldn't get out of bed and slept all day. She missed a lot of school. It took about a month for her to fully recover.

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  14. Awww...thanks! I'm glad I made you laugh.

    The worst medical advice, ever? When they discharged me from the hospital after my youngest was born and I spent a week in the ICU with a strep infection...to take care of six kids by myself. I was told not to do anything but sleep!

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  15. heh..or having a toddler and no husband and being put on bed rest!

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  16. Oh, the isolation thing is hilarious.
    I would have doubled over with maniacal laughter, too. Really loud like. Right into the doctor's stethoscope. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, DOC?

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  17. Hahahahahha! Get some rest. Gotta love that.

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  18. They are. And they're not alone. If I had a penny for every ridiculous bit of advice like that I've received, well, let's just say I'd be in a better place right now.

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  19. The time my teen slept 23 hours a day for a week she did not have mono. The time she had a bad sore throat and was sleeping "normally" she DID have mono. If her friend has it - get her tested. Geez. Doctors.

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