More Wasted Grant Money

Well!  Here's the latest in our series "Research That Is Not Helpful."  Apparently, someone did a study to determine the usefulness of brassieres.  The conclusion?

According to the results of a 15-year study in France published Wednesday, bras provide no benefits to women and may actually be harmful to breasts over time.

The researchers claim that women who don't wear bras develop more breast tissue that help hold their boobs up.  Of course, I am not too sure they were investigating the right demographic.  Apparently, they only studied women aged 18-35, and the study makes no mention whatsoever of breast size. Here's one 28-year-old woman who participated:

"At first, I was a little reluctant to the idea of running without a bra, but I got started and after five minutes, I had no trouble at all," Vercellotti said, according to the Agence France-Presse.

Of course, you didn't, honey.  Because, first of all, you are 28.  Your boobs are not yet so pendulous that they could give you 2 black eyes if you jog up and down too much.  Also?  I'll bet any amount of money you are a size A. 


I rest my case.

Look, after reading this article, I spent several minutes topless, staring into my bathroom mirror and examining just exactly what muscles and tissue support my breasts. (Hey, I'm unemployed now - I have the time.)  Believe me, if you are a size C or more, there simply isn't anything in place to hold those things up.  Blame it on poor design, if you will.  And haven't these researchers ever seen those National Geographic pictures of old women living in primitive tribes in Africa or South America?  Their boobs are hanging DOWN.  And, believe me, it's not because they were sporting Bali minimizers for the greater part of their lives.


Gravity, folks - it always wins.


[Photo of young Somali mother and babe by Mrs. Charles K. Moser. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons]

Comments

  1. Even a size A needs help by our age. Just sayin'.

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  2. You're completely missing the point. This is a guy. Who got paid to study breasts. The actual results are irrelevant to him. The work was its own reward.

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    Replies
    1. Ha! I love this. And it did cross my mind...

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  3. Robin H's comment is spot on.
    And what a moron to ignore the decades of breast research by National Geographic. Even us flat gals end up droopy by the end of our thirties!!!

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  4. So, would you say this study deserves some sort of booby prize?

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    1. So, how much do I hate the fact that I didn't think of that joke myself?

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  5. This research is making me feel low! :P

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  6. I have to laugh -- I thought of YOU when I heard this on the news! :)

    I did jog braless in my 20's. Now, my size almost-A's are completely deflated. I need something just to make them look respectable. Y'know, prop 'em up front where they're supposed to be.

    The funniest comparison I ever heard was from a tandem-nursing message board in 2001: "like two dead ferrets". Yeah, only think "two dead field mice". Sad, sad, sad...

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  7. As a 44 year old with 42DDs I can assure you there is no way I could just 'get used' to running bra-less. How ridiculous.

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  8. Why are they still trying to get us out of our bras?

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    1. I know! You've got to wonder, right?

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  9. When I was 28, I was wearing an H cup (UK size) bra. Now that I am slightly older, I am wearing an HH cup (Uk size). Yeah, I can tell you what would happen if I stopped wearing a bra. Thanks.

    Only a man can come up with the conclusion we should just ditch them. Oh well, he got to look at boobs for 15 years. Maybe he should have become a gynecologist?

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  10. I saw this report and oh. my. goodness. was that not the stupidest thing? Maybe if you have NO CHEST, then going without a bra is an option; but for those of us (like me) who are busty ... there is no way -- NO WAY ...

    Ever hear this (bad) joke: How did Dolly Parton get her black eyes? She was jogging without a bra.

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