You know the 10-minute tummy trimmers ab workout video I posted as a joke in my post about shapewear? It occurred to me that I could put it on my IPod Touch and actually, you know, DO it. It was an epiphany of sorts. So I've done just that, for 3 days now. I think it's working, if by "working" you mean making my rib cage hurt whenever I laugh, or turn over in bed, or try to sit up.
That's good, right?
In other news, the shapewear it took me 3 hours to find worked just dandy. Now I'm wondering if I can wear it under my tankini. You see, the girls are asking me to take them to the pool this weekend. And we all know what that means - it means I will have to face the dreaded first wearing of the swimsuit, that annual rite of self-loathing and humiliation. I really don't know what I hate more - the roll of post-menopausal stomach fat, the cellulite peeking out from beneath the skirted bottom, or the crazy grid of postpartum varicose veins that render my legs and feet a purplish green. Apparently, middle age is making me pay for the fact that I never had acne as a teenager.
In other news, both little girls have been coughing like 2-pack-a-day smokers every morning. It's either the residue of the stupid colds they should both be over by now, or else it's drug-resistant tuberculosis. Dr. Google isn't very specific on that.
And that's all, folks - just dribs and drabs of self-absorbed commentary this evening. Tell me, is narcissism a sign of early dementia? I can't remember.