|Apparently, a VERY complicated device|
Best. Toy. Ever.
Anyway, yesterday we discovered, once we got the new boards home and unwrapped them, that they now come with a full set of instructions.
And, to add insult to injury (at least for this particular grammarian), the instructions are titled "How To Lay On Your Bodyboard."
Lay! How about "How To Properly Conjugate Verbs"? Or, "How To Distinguish Between Transitive and Intransitive Verbs"? Instead, apparently, we're stuck with the illustrated guide to "How To Do The Most Obvious Thing In The World."
This guide has a picture showing you, the apparently clueless reader, how to lie down on your stomach on your boogie board, with the warning that one should "practice lying" on the board before even entering the surf. The instructions explain where to grip the boogie board (top corners) and add that your legs are supposed to hang off the back. The reader is advised to "rest on your elbows and arch your back with your head up."
The last illustration labels the different parts of a wave, in case you aren't sure what the term "whitewater" might mean when you encounter it in the directions on how to catch a wave ("...start paddling...").
You know what? This must be the same company that put the warning sticker on Rachel's scooter a few years ago...you know, the one that said, "This product moves when being used." Which has me thinking, maybe there should be a warning on the boogie-board instructions: If you actually need these, you are too stupid to use this product.