Please note - in my home state, you are not allowed to smile for your driver's license photo. If there are any teeth showing, they make you take it over. Last time this requirement caught me by surprise, and I ended up with a picture wherein I looked like a sour old hag. You know how they say the camera adds 10 pounds? Well, in my case, it adds 10 years.
|Kittens are photogenic. I'm jealous.|
This time, I was determined to beat the system. For several days beforehand, I worked on attaining what I thought was a pleasant, smiling look without moving my lips. It's all in the eyebrows and the eyes, I decided. I've GOT this.
So, as I've already said, my new license arrived in the mail today. I tore open the envelope and steeled myself to view the results. Would it be as bad as last time? No. No, it wasn't.
It was WORSE. I look positively insane. Eyebrows up, eyes sort of bugging out under droopy lids (and where the heck did those come from?), and lips pressed together in a crooked line. INSANE.
My only comfort is knowing that I cannot possibly look this way for real. If I did, people would run screaming from me in the street. Friends would beg me to wear a bag over my head. My children would burst into tears whenever I came near.
8 years, people - I've got 8 years to practice for the next one.
[Kittens image: SPCA Otago]