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Showing posts from July, 2015

Wherein Things Go Downhill Pretty Darn Fast

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Well, looks like the last time I was here, I was complaining life was kicking my butt.  Whereupon life took the dare and showed me what buttkicking really means.  I'm sitting here now, surrounded by bottles of narcotics, stunned - demoralized, really - by how quickly a person can become incapacitated by something stupid.

In short, my back hurts. Not typical low-back, I-must-have-wrenched-something hurts - no, just a feeling since Friday that someone cruel is knuckling me right next to my shoulder blade.  Sounds minor, right? But it has brought me to my knees.  When the advice nurse asked me to rate the pain, I said, "Well, if childbirth is a 10, this is 9 1/2."  And it just won't go away.

The house is a mess, thanks for asking.

As I said, this started Friday, so I dosed myself with lots of Motrin and managed to go on our mini-camping trip to the beach anyway.  I held it together until Monday evening, at which point Larry had the fun job of packing up the camper in th…

Toothpaste Chronicles

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This week is kicking my butt - I'm sick, the girls' band camp concert is today, we actually have tickets to the taping of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" this evening, David gets his wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, and we are supposed to head out on a short jaunt to a campground near the beach on Sunday.

Whew - I need to lie down just from typing that.

So I leave you with the handy reminder that the more things change, the more they remain the same. As long-time readers know, Larry - born with frugal New Englander blood in his veins - has a penchant for getting the most out of a toothpaste tube.  Not once in our almost quarter-century-long marriage has he ever had to be the one to procure a fresh tube from the linen closet.  This past week was no different:



The tube on the bottom? Mine.  Larry's still using the other one. And I still can't decide whether that is cute or irritating...

Who Knew?

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Okay, so a few months ago I got tired of mooching off everyone else's GPS and took the plunge. That's right - this tech dinosaur bought an inexpensive smartphone, hooked herself up with an inexpensive prepay plan, and thus launched herself into the 21st century. And she hasn't looked back.

Look, the flip phone was becoming embarrassing.  And, unlike Larry, I do not labor under the delusion that printing directions from MapQuest is the latest thing on the technological front. The day when some carpool plans changed abruptly and, miles from home and anything resembling a computer, I was expected to know how to drive to a city in a bordering state? That was the last straw.

So, since this watershed purchase, life has been good: the girls have been fascinated by my cheap-o LG model, I can take a picture whenever I like, and I have not once gone over the 1GB of data allotted me per month by Verizon.  And now that he is leaving for college, we offered to buy David an inexpensive…

Trend Setter

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I ordered something from Amazon the other day, and David was around when it arrived and I unpacked the box.

"What are those?" he asked.

"My new orange glasses," I said, putting them on. "Aren't they awesome?"

"But what are they for?" he said, dodging my question.

"They cut out the blue light from my IPad screen and my phone, so looking at them doesn't mess with my circadian rhythms."

David looked at me, tilting his head to one side in a manner reminiscent of that dog in the Victrola logo.

"Where did you hear that?" he asked.

"I read it on the Internet," I said, proudly, "and ordered them right away."

You know how something makes sense inside your head, but then you say it out loud?  Yeah, that.  And it sounded even less believable when I explained it to Larry, our resident skeptic, that evening.

"How much did you pay for those?" was all he wanted to know.

"Only 10 dollars! Isn't …

Everything Is Awesome

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I am spending my Saturday surrounded by grown men who wear Lego Movie T-shirts un-ironically. And you?

These people take their interlocking-bricks habit very seriously, I must say. Someone just showed me photos of the Lego crown molding that he created and installed in his house. I don't know what amazes me more - the fact that someone even thought of creating crown molding out of Legos or the thought that this man is married to someone saintly enough to allow him to do this to their home.

Adding to the fun was the fact that we had a guest at our monthly Adult Fans Of Lego meeting today - a muggle, as it were, who is writing some sort of book about the learning process and wanted to talk to Lego aficionados about learning and Legos. It is hard to describe the reaction of muggles when they stumble into the den of Lego wizards that is an AFOL club - essentially, you see it slowly dawning on them that things are, shall we say, just a little bit weird.

As concerns this particular int…

Failure To Communicate

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As you know, we have raspberries.  Lots of raspberries.  And what goes best with raspberries is freshly whipped cream - a small bowl full of berries topped with a dollop (or 2 or 3) of whipped cream has got to be the perfect summer dessert. So off I went yesterday to Harris Teeter to pick up a quart of whipping cream.  Unfortunately, the shelf in the refrigerated case was empty.

"Oh, darn," I told Susie. "They're out of whipping cream. We'll have to go somewhere else." Whereupon a woman who was removing a spray can of ReddiWhip from the shelf below looked up and said, "Oh, no, they have it right here!"

"No, I mean whipping cream," I told her.  She gave me a puzzled look that seemed to imply that I was soft in the head. I tried again. "I know that stuff in the can is whipped cream, but I am looking for the stuff it is made from."

"Made from?" she asked. That whipped cream had a provenance other than a can with a nozzle…

Into The Woods

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Raspberries, as you may know, are a super expensive fruit that we have never really had the budget to buy.  Oh, it's not as though we don't HAVE 5 dollars to spend on a teeny-weeny amount of berries, but by the time we get through dividing them among all the mouths here, we never feel as if we've gotten our money's worth.  So generally we leave them for those who can afford the finer things in life.


BUT we have neighbors who happen to own a piece of undeveloped land that is covered in raspberry bushes. COVERED.  So today, Rachel and Susie and I decided to accompany our neighbor on the one-hour trip west to pick raspberries.  Because you can't beat free, right?

Obviously, where we were going was not the well manicured, pick-your-own orchards that we are used to, with their gift shops and playgrounds and orderly fields. We were headed for the woods, where there are bugs, Lord help us, and a definite lack of lavatories.  So we girded ourselves in long-sleeved shirts a…