tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post5622920438086885642..comments2024-03-27T05:30:07.368-04:00Comments on The More, The Messier: Dementia Diaries 2Suburban Correspondenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11488916572135296650noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-26417873695622541732013-07-21T02:14:49.785-04:002013-07-21T02:14:49.785-04:00This is rough, indeed. I have heard that playing t...This is rough, indeed. I have heard that playing the music of their youth is a great comfort to those with dementia.Jenn @ Juggling Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14455967210924573398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-28894945170051794252013-07-13T21:57:46.345-04:002013-07-13T21:57:46.345-04:00I feel what you are feeling - it is so hard to be ...I feel what you are feeling - it is so hard to be a witness to this "process" - right now, today, my advice comes from my cousin, who went through it with her mom. She found that telling my aunt what a good job she was doing somehow made things a little better. I tried it with my mom a couple days ago, and she said "Just keep telling me that!" - which is what my aunt said, too. It's a scary thing for them to go through, something no one can really imagine or practice for, and it must be nice to have someone say they're doing a good job. <br /><br />And it does seem better to just tell the stories than to ask if they remember. Not a test, just a lovely moment of shared history...<br /><br />Thanks for sharing this with us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-67696294173607643222013-07-13T07:49:18.140-04:002013-07-13T07:49:18.140-04:00I don't even know what to say ... but in remem...I don't even know what to say ... but in remembering for him I know you're doing the right (best) thing.<br /><br />If we were neighbors I'd show up with a cappuccino :-)<br /><br />Maria (also Bia)https://www.blogger.com/profile/10915816897999091636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-90108578523477812682013-07-12T02:36:53.650-04:002013-07-12T02:36:53.650-04:00Oh, this hurts! I'm so sorry.
My dad has some...Oh, this hurts! I'm so sorry. <br />My dad has some dementia but I *think* his more difficult problem (besides not being able to walk or get himself from lifting recliner to wheelchair) is being unable to remember words to use to express his thoughts. He can't remember the name of his umbrella disease (Parkinson's). I wish he wasn't so far away. <br /><br />You are a good daughter. There is no easy way to walk through this.Karen (formerly kcinnova)https://www.blogger.com/profile/16705613736966783261noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-77927308800942041832013-07-09T21:13:48.871-04:002013-07-09T21:13:48.871-04:00He is so lucky to have you. You are doing everythi...He is so lucky to have you. You are doing everything I can imagine doing, and well. my heart goes out to you, and him. I hope he finds some peace in his memories.ilyannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04805944750017424794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-11371232234716142452013-07-09T15:32:50.824-04:002013-07-09T15:32:50.824-04:00Others have said it better -- and it is so heartbr...Others have said it better -- and it is so heartbreaking to watch. I hope you are comforted knowing the gift you are giving by your very presence shows great love. <br /><br />We walked this path too, and the best advice given to us was not to ask them to remember, but to simply tell them the stories. Let them live the stories again through you, and especially heart healing for us was telling the stories of gratitude. We could share again our gratitude for the parenting blessed upon us.<br /><br />Your kind heart and humor are measure enough that your parents are some of the extraordinary ones.<br />Use Wisdomnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-85988423943225749592013-07-08T21:08:10.473-04:002013-07-08T21:08:10.473-04:00My heart breaks for you as well. Every time I rea...My heart breaks for you as well. Every time I read something like this, I wish for a magic button to help. Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08741485605994137496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-61672420135851027182013-07-08T17:19:23.507-04:002013-07-08T17:19:23.507-04:00I'm so sorry you are going through this. My f...I'm so sorry you are going through this. My father-in-law lived with us for 6 months last year (he was 93) and it was horrible to watch him wake him every day so confused, wondering where he was, when he was leaving, where his car was. And he constantly worried about his money. (My mother-in-law is in a rest home with Alzheimer's and he was so worried that he would run out of money to take care of her.) He would even call the company that he retired from 25 years earlier to ask how much money was in his pension plan. <br /><br />It truly is heartbreaking to witness. The only thing that got me through those 6 months was prayer - lots and lots of prayer. I'll be praying for you and your dad (and the voodoo priestess).Beth Cotellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14536268080265726705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-82731675553161493732013-07-08T16:18:51.554-04:002013-07-08T16:18:51.554-04:00I'm so sorry.I'm so sorry. Patience_Crabstickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16860012969550268614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-14834218706595819832013-07-08T14:47:35.528-04:002013-07-08T14:47:35.528-04:00I second Korinthia's comment. My mother in la...I second Korinthia's comment. My mother in law suffered for 12 years with dementia, but there was a period when we could engage her in the past with pictures. Get an album and label the pictures with names and relationships. One doctor told us reading was one of the last skills to go, so labeling helps. Videos might help too- some people will watch them on endless loop. Sometimes music helped too, so we would play a mixture of old pop music and hymns. She also liked to have the bible read to her, so we sometimes read psalms. Conversations wasn't real dynamic, since we had to repeat ourselves a lot, so some of these other activities gave us a way to spend time with her without depending on conversation. Less frustration all around!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-54539489128959719472013-07-08T11:38:09.485-04:002013-07-08T11:38:09.485-04:00When my grandmother first went into assisted livin...When my grandmother first went into assisted living I talked with one of the caregivers there who said the longer the dementia went on, the more likely gram was to slip back to her oldest memories. She said we may want to have more pictures up from her life before children--her own parents, her sister. It was hard for me to watch gram lose the concept that my brother was married and had a daughter. I think she remembered me to the end, but I know she started calling my mom her sister's name. It's heartbreaking, all of it. I'm so sorry.korinthiahttp://the-quiet-corner.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-11548601790888201662013-07-08T11:01:47.738-04:002013-07-08T11:01:47.738-04:00Yes, the hardest part (or more accurately--another...Yes, the hardest part (or more accurately--another hard part) is when they KNOW they can't remember. My dad would lament, "I'm so goofy"...by the time he could only recall snippets of his childhood, he was more peaceful, less anxious. (He died on my fiftieth birthday). Now, my mom is frustrated with her inability to remember anything for more than a few minutes and she sometimes thinks we're stealing from her and all that...<br /><br />So, in the meantime...we do it because we can and must. We try to find some humor in it, we vent when it helps, we compromise when we need to. The voodoo priestess might be one of those compromises. Hang on. We hear you.<br /><br />Jenny Hart Borenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06587246633354905840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-21652782010241087502013-07-08T10:27:11.456-04:002013-07-08T10:27:11.456-04:00Hugs, honey. I'm praying for you during this ...Hugs, honey. I'm praying for you during this heartache. I think this has to be one of the worst possible ways to end life. And I cannot imagine the conflict about getting the right kind of care, either. Dementia is a cruel monster.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-48320615122552579932013-07-08T09:35:47.066-04:002013-07-08T09:35:47.066-04:00So hard to see someone you love like this. Deepes...So hard to see someone you love like this. Deepest sympathy. RobinHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10325359641194305097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-7942839118605216222013-07-08T07:59:01.920-04:002013-07-08T07:59:01.920-04:00Oh, friend. I am so sorry. You are going through a...Oh, friend. I am so sorry. You are going through a difficult experience, no way to sugarcoat that. I'm thinking of you.amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02429539000041713324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-72718290324512013492013-07-08T06:25:12.585-04:002013-07-08T06:25:12.585-04:00I'm so sorry for you and your father, and so s...I'm so sorry for you and your father, and so sad to hear about his condition. It sounds heartbreaking.Not Beehivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15245849695143201621noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-36624126915615374212013-07-07T23:32:52.219-04:002013-07-07T23:32:52.219-04:00This hurts to read. It's so hard to watch the ...This hurts to read. It's so hard to watch the people we love fade... Jennifer Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15595231987892881691noreply@blogger.com