tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post4624901050887166267..comments2024-03-27T05:30:07.368-04:00Comments on The More, The Messier: In Which I Get MilitantSuburban Correspondenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11488916572135296650noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-44961577459508543182009-02-17T22:32:00.000-05:002009-02-17T22:32:00.000-05:00Thanks for reminding me of this! We're simpatico ...Thanks for reminding me of this! We're simpatico on this issue, Suburban. Hope you're getting a discount on books!Minnesota Matronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16565431067927240183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-24715093046123448482008-07-06T17:49:00.000-04:002008-07-06T17:49:00.000-04:00My husband's Mom, God rest her soul, told him when...My husband's Mom, God rest her soul, told him when we got married that if both of us were going to work and we were going to have a house, he had to "get me" a housekeeper. I've used that for years.<BR/><BR/>And I'm such a good negotiator (and terrible housekeeper) that I have managed to keep it since I stopped working too! I totally recognize that we are fortunate to have that. I justify it in a variety of ways...most of which involve being personal assistant to my husband!Dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04653282356172573799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-84632020753277843722008-06-12T05:13:00.000-04:002008-06-12T05:13:00.000-04:00You definitely have a point there. But I do believ...You definitely have a point there. But I do believe there are some people who just don't have the money for a housekeeper. <BR/><BR/>I am really not looking forward to going back to work. Though this would mean doing less housework... Now I have to figure out the math.. household = full time job.. divided by two.. I work 3 days a week.. husband 4 days a week...Nadinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13020576169697163185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-22657348973415046942008-06-12T02:42:00.000-04:002008-06-12T02:42:00.000-04:00So true, it is a full time (as in 24 hour) job, ju...So true, it is a full time (as in 24 hour) job, just doing house and kids. Just keep that in mind, people, the suburban correspondent has spoken! Flylady is great in spirit, but I just can't follow her routine, I have to adapt it to my life. I can do most everything in the world without shoes on and my sink doesn't need more than comet, but my ceiling needs to be cleaned on a regular basis. Even though only one of us is even over 5' tall. Don't ask. Most people don't believe in levitation.Shelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12851446861098955538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-36308139358239245422008-06-12T02:25:00.000-04:002008-06-12T02:25:00.000-04:00Well done.Well done.Lynnershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16684176598382353272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-90504355245078320902008-06-10T22:42:00.001-04:002008-06-10T22:42:00.001-04:00Oh - and I wondered why my readership jumped up a ...Oh - and I wondered why my readership jumped up a few notches on Monday!Minnesota Matronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16565431067927240183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-8051104555538482642008-06-10T22:42:00.000-04:002008-06-10T22:42:00.000-04:00Amen, Sister. I've done working at home and work...Amen, Sister. I've done working at home and working at home/somewhere else. Two full-time jobs.Minnesota Matronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16565431067927240183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-32422675295814058392008-06-10T22:04:00.000-04:002008-06-10T22:04:00.000-04:00My husband and childrens meaning of clean and mine...My husband and childrens meaning of clean and mine are different. Dad means get the stuff off the floor and sweep them. My meaning of clean is put stuff where it belongs, including throwing papers in the recycling bin, laundry to the laundry room, dirty dishes to the kitchen, garbage thrown out and the floors swept and washed, if necessary. When they do a daddy clean, they throw everything in the toy storage bins and sweep the floor. :( Then I make them sort it the next day I am home from work.<BR/><BR/>My kids, especially my teens, do most of the housework. I wash laundry and dishes occasionally and sort clean laundry for them to put away. I put away my clothes and the 3 youngest kids clothes. I clean the bathrooms.mommeeof10https://www.blogger.com/profile/03611832953435781430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-65904907070348143202008-06-10T10:23:00.000-04:002008-06-10T10:23:00.000-04:00fannie mae - My point exactly. Thanks.fannie mae - My point exactly. Thanks.Suburban Correspondenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11488916572135296650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-33281409162841406142008-06-10T10:20:00.000-04:002008-06-10T10:20:00.000-04:00I know I'm late to the table but I wanted to weigh...I know I'm late to the table but I wanted to weigh in. When I was home full time I did it all: grocery, cooking, laundry, cleaning, errands, appointnments, banking, investments, on and on.<BR/><BR/>Then there were the children.<BR/><BR/>Oh, and the volunteering.<BR/><BR/>So when I got a "Real Job", 40 hours a week, you bet your behind I sat my husband down and said I'm not taking this new job AND keeping my old job too. I hired a service for the cleaning. PLUS made the kids start doing their own laundry.Fanniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13256873494991946979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-60973104402341977342008-06-10T02:47:00.000-04:002008-06-10T02:47:00.000-04:00I had six kids in seven years. They're all adults...I had six kids in seven years. They're all adults now, but they weren't "back then"!! They had chores from a young age. They were assigned because they were part of a family. They also had allowances with no strings attached. They received those because they were part of a family. The chores and the allowances had no relationship to each other.<BR/>And the chores started at age 4 or so, age appropriate ones. Funny story. Second son, about 7-8 at the time was cleaning bathrooms. After he finished each (of three) bathrooms, he locked the door and put a post-it on it saying "Do Not Use. I just cleaned." and then signed each note!<BR/>Another funny story (one has a lot of them with 6 kids). The girls (2) complained about cleaning the toilets after the boys (4). I agreed and told the boys that females were no longer assigned to toilet cleaning. Boy, did that improve their aim!<BR/>So..to comment on the original topic - I was a SAHM for 15 years before starting work full time. I had no outside help during those 15 years. My job consisted of kids, house, yard, pool maintenance, shopping, etc etc etc. I was very organized and efficient.<BR/>When I started working, nothing changed. I whined, I asked, I complained and I demanded. I got essentially no help. It's only been since I divorced, retired and now live alone that I have a yard service, a pool service, and an every other Friday cleaning help. I like pampering myself and I should have demanded more and sooner. No one should have to do it all whilst her partner watches football or ____ fill in the blank. Just like the kids' chores; you do them because you're part of the family, period. HE was part of the family too, but of the privilged part. End of rant...sorry to take so much space but you hit a sore spot!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-58589224362286702512008-06-10T02:37:00.000-04:002008-06-10T02:37:00.000-04:00My husband has always had flexible jobs, so he's a...My husband has always had flexible jobs, so he's always been around and willing to help - he does laundry, cooks, cleans - we did it all together.<BR/><BR/>Now he's working from dawn till dusk and I'm having to do it all myself, plus find time for my technical writing work and, oh yeah, the children.<BR/><BR/>IT. SUCKS.TheOneTrueSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04756132396031048647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-65903378871783486782008-06-10T01:50:00.000-04:002008-06-10T01:50:00.000-04:00I think your point was something that is actually ...I think your point was something that is actually not stressed. Dividing it all up does not work so perfectly. No worries on being militant. It is important to bring these issues to the forefront. <BR/><BR/>And I thought you were going to get militant on hiring housekeepers!JCKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04582581376724478366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-85833726453060643902008-06-10T01:08:00.000-04:002008-06-10T01:08:00.000-04:00I can only say Amen to an excellent post.I can only say Amen to an excellent post.Jennifer Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16239563357592230711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-87320304748447803492008-06-09T22:58:00.000-04:002008-06-09T22:58:00.000-04:00Oh, and BTW, the girls took on dish duty, pet duty...Oh, and BTW, the girls took on dish duty, pet duty and kitchen sweeping and table wiping...as well as their required stuff like bed making, hair and teeth brushing, etc. We give them a weekly allowance that is "taxed" 15% (so they learn about that early- we us the money for an occasional pizza or something) They also tithe 10%, and the remaining 75% is split 3 ways to quick cash, med term savings and long term savings (college fund).<BR/>They have learned SO much about money and I get TONS more work done for a "pittance" compared with paying a professional "maid". Plus they get to feel VALUABLE around here. It's working so far.<BR/>PAX, EElizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07505258364895249347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-5021260296313389672008-06-09T22:52:00.000-04:002008-06-09T22:52:00.000-04:00Amen, sister. It sucks.Amen, sister. It sucks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-67279930098198358192008-06-09T22:45:00.000-04:002008-06-09T22:45:00.000-04:00I had this conversation with my husband the other ...I had this conversation with my husband the other night. He is really quite wonderful and reminded me that from his perspective, what's his IS mine. Since he has no problem with me buying what we need and even what I want on occasion...I gotta admit, I'd rather work in my home for my family, than anywhere else or for anyone else! He has to do the office politics thing and I get to set my own hours (barring children's illnesses) and my own schedule. Plus, of course, being the Homeschooler that I am, I get to claim THREE full time jobs...and get pity points occasionally! (Full time <BR/>1.schoolteacher, 2. housekeeper and 3.Day care provider-for snorkie)<BR/>I LOVE MY JOB(s)!!!<BR/>Blessings, EElizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07505258364895249347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-62783806715362978252008-06-09T21:55:00.000-04:002008-06-09T21:55:00.000-04:00There is so much work to get done in an average ho...There is so much work to get done in an average household, and children increase it enormously. There is just no way I could do it all, even with the husband's help. No way at all. Of course, we also can't afford outside help, so things just don't get done. <BR/><BR/>My house will be clean again when the kids are older.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-10448783158176849332008-06-09T21:48:00.000-04:002008-06-09T21:48:00.000-04:00mum-me - My husband has an insurance policy on me ...mum-me - My husband has an insurance policy on me too - it makes me feel so valuable!Suburban Correspondenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11488916572135296650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-46148851760025741882008-06-09T21:35:00.000-04:002008-06-09T21:35:00.000-04:00Thanks for that. I'm so so glad I have one of the ...Thanks for that. <BR/>I'm so so glad I have one of the husbands who picked up the slack when I switched to an out-of-the-house job; I don't know what we would have done otherwise. As it is, you're right: we both work 1.5 full-time jobs and do the best we can.jenfromRIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16157224479180515626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-57333435986395304532008-06-09T20:22:00.000-04:002008-06-09T20:22:00.000-04:00I like the way you put it. It got put into perspe...I like the way you put it. <BR/><BR/>It got put into perspective with HB when he was trying to decide to take out a life insurance policy on me or not.<BR/><BR/>First he decided he wouldn't need to because if I died he would just hire a housekeeper/nanny.<BR/><BR/>Then he investigated how much a housekeeper would cost. WAY TOO MUCH! <BR/><BR/>So he said if I died he would quit work and be a SAHD. I left him with all 6 children for a whole day (while I was having day surgery.)<BR/><BR/>The next day he took out an insurance poilcy on me - a BIG one. (Enough to pay a full-time housekeeper I suppose.) He said it was the best option. (Just what I'd been telling him all along.)Mum-mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10964065407491663047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-61048182633279005832008-06-09T19:45:00.000-04:002008-06-09T19:45:00.000-04:00Amen- as a SAHM I couldn't agree more.Amen- as a SAHM I couldn't agree more.SuddenlySouthernCyndihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07079201478976585715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-67709548486461025772008-06-09T18:19:00.000-04:002008-06-09T18:19:00.000-04:00You said it beautifully--here's the thing--my husb...You said it beautifully--here's the thing--my husband views my SAHM status as my job and, since I don't come to the office and negotiate contracts with him, he doesn't see why I get so upset when he doesn't do basic stuff around the house. <BR/>Some women have suggested not doing stuff around the house, but the strike that really gets them motivated is to stop doing stuff around the bedroom.Gray Matter Mattershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04229890109467300091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-77344457474847371822008-06-09T17:57:00.000-04:002008-06-09T17:57:00.000-04:00i work at home "part" time (sometimes it's more th...i work at home "part" time (sometimes it's more than part time, sometimes less) and take care of the two boys and try to take care of the house. the house is scary -- although i've been doing the fly lady stuff more and it seems to be helping. loved your post today and minnesota matron...Madgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14905740781186585499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29186394.post-34977138370238949402008-06-09T17:09:00.000-04:002008-06-09T17:09:00.000-04:00My Ex and I used to fight about this ALL the time....My Ex and I used to fight about this ALL the time. I work "part time" outside the home - which in my industry is FULL TIME. The kids do help and he did, too, but we never _really_ cleaned. and it would've made me so much happier and well rested just to get it really truly cleaned twice a month. My friends all - ALL - looked at me aghast when I said I had no outside help with the inside of my house. Now that I'm a single mom, I hire the kids to really clean (plus they are older) and the weeks they're not there it doesn't get dirty.<BR/><BR/>THe whole SAHM debate aside, fact is I needed help and didn't get it. No it wouldn't have saved my marriage, but it would've made the time we "stayed together for the kids" a bit more pleasant....<BR/><BR/>And my cousin SWEARS by flylady but I haven't tried it....The Girl Next Doorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08106281074589247494noreply@blogger.com