Anna needed me to take her somewhere yesterday morning. She stood in the front hall, anxiety exuding from her every pore because she didn't want to be late. So I sent her to start the car while I found my purse, my coat, etc.
I reached the car 5 minutes later, where she was sitting in the passenger seat, waiting impatiently. I got in and closed the door and buckled in. Then I said,
"You know, we can't go anywhere right now."
"Huh?" (accompanied by annoyed, confused look endemic to foggy-brained teens)
"We can't go anywhere. The windshield is covered with ice. I can't see to drive."
"Oh?" (another confused, "why is she talking to me?" look)
"Hey! I have an idea! Why don't you take the scraper and clear the windshield?"
(Glare)
"No, really, it might work!"
So Anna went outside and, with one hand in her pocket and the other aimlessly flailing the ice scraper, did her very best imitation of a floppy-wristed, one-armed imbecile attempting to clean off a windshield. It was pathetic. She was apparently hoping I'd get impatient and do it for her, but hey - I was sitting in a warm car listening to NPR. No rush...
When she finally got back into the car, I told her, "Next time you make yourself look that stupid, I'm videotaping it and putting it on YouTube."
And that, my friends, is what is so great about this brave new technological world we're living in...
Lmao! That's classic. <3
ReplyDeleteDid you make it where she wanted to be on time? lol
Is there a reason she didn't turn on the defrost? Kids are so funny. It probably took her more effort to flail around than to just scrape the dang windshield. I'd love to see that on YouTube!
ReplyDeleteRevenge of the moms. It's a good thing we didn't have YouTube when my girls were teens. Though it wouldn't have mattered; we didn't have a computer, and we couldn't have afforded internet access.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid to ask what was so important, that she had to drag her mother out onto icy streets? It's been a long, long time since I was a teenager, obviously!
Hahahhaaaa. Teenagers are completely blinded by the fact that they are the center of their own universe...it must cause some sort of cocoon membrane to settle over them and obscure their vision of anything happening outside their own body! Huh? Ice.... on the windshield...right in front of my face...huh?
ReplyDeleteThat was exactly it, Mary Alice.
ReplyDeleteAnna is a gem. Or a blogging gold mine.
ReplyDeleteThat IS awesome--so much for threatening my kids with showing polaroids of their bad behavior to future prom dates--humiliation can be NOW! I love it!
ReplyDeleteAnd you? You are a genius!
You make me wish my kids were teenagers again just so I could threaten them with YouTube!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of when my MIL tried to teach my SIL how to make biscuits. SIL couldn't figure out why her biscuits were small and hard. When asked if she'd preheated the oven, her reply was "what's preheat"!
that's brilliant. did she believe you?
ReplyDeleteBwa-ha-ha-ha-ha. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who tells her kids they're acting stupid. It always makes me feel like a bad mom, but YOU. You have SIX kids. Therefore it must be okay.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely beautiful! You are my hero!
ReplyDeleteThis post gave me a big chuckle but it also gave me hope that at least sometime in the future my kids will be able to do some work for ME while I just sit around!
ReplyDeleteIf the kids need a ride anywhere, they must do a chore for me before we leave. I know they will not do them when we get back. :)
ReplyDeleteIf we have snow, I don't have to clear my car off. The kids scoop the snow off to use on a snow fort. At least they haven't used a metal shovel since the first time they cleared it 3 years ago. There are still scratches on the hood, trunk lid and roof. When it is paid for in 2 years, maybe I'll get it repainted before my oldest daughter gets it.
When I read about your daughter, I felt like I was getting an insight to what my daughter is going to be like 12 years from now.
ReplyDeleteI love that you just stayed put in the nice warm car!
"floppy-wristed, one-armed imbecile attempting to clean off a windshield" Too funny! Perfect discription!
ReplyDeletePerfect use of technology.
ReplyDeleteI bet she was texting while scraping the windshield.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Hi - I can totally relate ( well, actually not to the ice on the windshield part - I live in Australia! It's been over 40 or round 105 - 110 degrees fahrenheit the past week here! ) But I can relate to the LOOK,the "it's all about me and where I need to be and what I want" attitude.
ReplyDeleteMy 17 yr old daughter was recently away for 5 weeks on exchange and she was quite nice to us when she got back ... for a few days. Then sadly everything went back to normal.
But thanks for the tip - I'll definitely be threatening Youtube, I would just need to work out how to do it. I'm obviously not as tech-savvy as you, and unfortunately my daughter would know it too!
it's amazing, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI can totally see her "cleaning" off the car!
ReplyDeleteHA - score one for the moms!
Hahaha that's hysterical.
ReplyDeleteMy girls tell themselves and each other they should put their... ahem... finer moments on youtube.
Yes, even Devon of the breakfast dance fame... ahum that one. ;-)
Way to make technology work for you.
ReplyDeleteOh man! I thought I was the only one who had kids that did that "faked incompetence" thing -- and The Boy is only 9!
ReplyDeleteHe has perfected the look that says, "I wanted a sandwich. Why would you ask me to get peanut butter and jelly? And bread? What is this "bread" of which you speak?"
I swear, they think they live at Denny's. I just wish my patience was as long as yours. I'm working on developing my apathy levels: "I'm sorry -- you wandered away, so I figured you really didn't want that sandwich after all..."
You're a bad influence on us all!!
You must write one of those little pocket guide books. "the little pocket guide to having the last laugh with your teenager" I will be needing this helpful advice in years to come.
ReplyDeleteYouTube, priceless.
Is Anna aware that you have a fan club who WOULD watch this video? ;)
ReplyDeleteBoys who can't get themselves onto the school bus have to clean toilets; sometimes it's the litter box, instead. Back when I parked outside, they had to warm up the car and defrost/de-ice the windows, too.
ROFLOL...YouTube as blackmail. I love it!!
ReplyDeleteI love that.
ReplyDeleteYou Tube threats...anything that works.
That's brilliant. As is making her scrape the windshield since she was the one who wanted to go somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI don't have ice that needs to be scraped, but I do have a car that needs to be washed.
ReplyDeleteI have threatened to tape, but haven't done it. I may have to follow through one of these days.
ROFL! Wonder if the same would work on blank stares given when asked if they've done homework, chores, etc.
ReplyDeleteThankf for the GREAT blackmail idea!
As the mother of two teenagers, let me just say one word...
ReplyDeleteHilarious.
classic. just ... classic!
ReplyDeleteabsolutely brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThank heavens you're not my mom!
You are so cool. Can I send you my teenager?
ReplyDelete