So I spent Saturday resigning myself to my rejectee status, reminding myself that it's not a big deal and that going on stage isn't really a good idea for me, anyway. I was successful to the point of being able to look at the LTYM cast member announcement (you know, the one without my name in it) on Sunday. "I'm mature," I told myself. "I can handle it." And I was doing pretty well, until I realized that I knew, personally, one of the Chosen. Oh, not very well, but we have a lot of mutual friends/acquaintances in the local homeschooling community and once, years ago, I manned a Girl Scout cookie booth with her husband. That sort of thing.
I have no idea why my knowing her should have made any difference, but my maturity immediately exited the room, leaving me to scroll through her blog and fume, "I'm funny. But she's meaningful. I KNEW they wanted meaningful. I KNEW IT."
So, yeah, not my finest moment(s). I'm over it and back to being my somewhat mature self, but tell me - does anyone ever really grow up? I mean, like, completely? Because I'm thinking that I still have quite a ways to go.
[Poison Envy image: Cliche Busters]
Oh, I'm sorry you didn't get a position in the show. That hurts.
ReplyDeleteLTYM is a poopyhead.
(Does that answer your question?)
I am sorry you didn't make it into the show. I think you are super-brave for auditioning!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you didn't get chosen. It does hurt!
ReplyDeleteDid you act on your "immature" feelings? Say anything nasty to the person? No?
Well then, I think you are VERY mature about this situation! Disappointment is REAL... more real, even, than the Velveteen Rabbit. It's how you handle that disappointment that counts.
And yes, you were incredibly brave to audition.
Signed,
one of your many happy, satisfied readers ♥
I totally get this. I feel this way more than I'd like to admit. And it's so NOT a fun thing to feel.
ReplyDeleteBut you auditioned! THAT takes courage! And now you have more experience that might give you an edge later on.
I adore you, SC and I know that you have EXACTLY what it takes to get up on a stage and make 'em laugh. Writing funny is a trillion times harder than writing all feely, by the way.
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation to you, I have been mentally writing a post about jealousy and envy for several months now. You are totally not alone in the "not quite a grown up" club, my friend. It hits me more than I'd like to admit.
P.S. I read through the Chosen blog and I am convinced that was more of a "omg she did WHAT??" sort of thing than anything else. Please don't give up. When you do get it, it's going to be so sweet.
Grow up? You mean, leave Neverland?
ReplyDeleteNah. I think we just learn ever more clever ways of hiding our disappointment, frustration, and pain. That's the difference, right? When I throw a temper tantrum because I'm upset, people tell me to stop acting like a baby. That's when I remember, "Right. Being a adult is about finding different ways of expressing this."
And sometimes I do.
Often, however, I find I have to throw myself on grace. And remember, like an adult, that I am provided for, loved, and that being overlooked for this or that doesn't actually change that. Sure feels like it, though.
~Luke
Nope. Not grown up here. I'm still sulking because my 6th grade science fair entry was disqualified on the grounds that 'archeology is not a science'. Not that I'm bitter.
ReplyDeleteDarn it! I was rooting for you. Who needs meaningful?
ReplyDeleteMeaning....schmeaning! I'm up to my eyeballs in tough stuff.... (oldest son who is 9 (nine!) has been in residential psych care sinece sept, we live with my dad who just had to go on disability but cant get his operation for months, among other non amusing life events). You are amongst the bloggers who can make me laugh and lighten up and see even my ridiculous situation with humor. It may have even kept me from some stupidly self destructive choices every now and again. If that's not meaningful, I dont know WHAT is. My own mom died a long time ago, so you are more than welcome to come up to CT and give a talk In my living room....... i'll even clean out the fridge. Boo on LTYM for not recognizing a talent like yours. Lisa G. In CT
ReplyDeleteThanks - this really made my day. Email me any time, if you feel like it...
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