Stupid, But Still Alive

Oh, where to start? I was feeling better, popping my pills and all, and then Tuesday evening I got itchy. By Wednesday, I decided to message the doctor and tell her maybe I was getting allergic to the antibiotic. Or perhaps it was a side effect of steroids? Who knows? The nurse called me back.

"It's probably an allergy - stop the antibiotic. Any other symptoms? Difficulty breathing?"

"No, of course not," I said. Duh, I would have done something about that.

"Tongue feel funny? Lips swollen? Those are all signs that the reaction is getting dangerous."

"No, no, no. Just the itchiness. I've raised

These really WERE my BFF's this week.

an allergic child, so I know the symptoms to look for, don't worry - I'm an expert!" Yes, I did say that.

"Ma'am, I just have to go down this list. Throat swelling?"

For heaven's sake, does she think I'm an idiot? I thought. Does she think I'd just sit around going la-di-da if I felt my throat swelling?

"No," I said. And then, I remembered. I had just spent 15 minutes that afternoon complaining to the kids that I couldn't understand why I was getting my sore throat thing back - you know, the one where my THROAT FEELS SWOLLEN? That was right before I walked into the kitchen and took my daily steroid dose that, with its lovely anti-inflammatory properties, probably saved me from a medical emergency situation.

Yikes. I spent the rest of the evening contemplating my near brush with death and hanging onto my Benadryl for dear life. But, hey, I'm an expert! I'm sure that nurse was really impressed.