Home Sweet Home

Whew! There seems to be a bit of prepublication interest for my How To Talk So Kids Will Shut Up. Do you hear that, oh mythical agent who lurks on my blog and dreams of getting me a big fat book contract? I'm still working on chapter titles however. And a good blurb for the back cover. How about...

For all those parents who regret ever teaching their child to communicate their needs and desires, this book is for you! Forget about "improving relationships" or "opening avenues of communication." Instead, this book provides a realistic guide to finding a little peace and quiet so that you don't go crazy and frighten the children. With chapters such as "Humming as a Noise-Blocking Tool," "Threats For Every Occasion," and "The Teenage Years: Not The Age of Reason," any beleaguered parent will learn savvy methods of gaining the peace and quiet so craved by experienced moms and dads. The author has interviewed experts on every topic, from choosing a boarding school to decorating bedrooms with soundproofing in mind. Says one parent who has previewed the book, "I used to dread walking in the house after work in the evening. But now, with the simple use of some duct tape and cargo straps, home is once again a peaceful haven from the workaday world. Thank you!"

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Larry returned home yesterday bearing chocolate and a very pretty shirt for his wife (that would be me). After dinner I went to work and Larry crashed early. All was well until about 3 AM, when Larry (operating in a different time zone, apparently) woke me up to ask if I had seen the phone message he had left on my pillow. He was very perky. I wasn't. Things went downhill from there.

Nothing some more chocolate couldn't fix, however...