Appliance Poetry Slam! Right Here!

Thank you to all who participated in our appliance poetry slam. It was fun and inspiring to read all the entries. Please, please vote (poll on left somewhere) (unless, that is, it is on the right) (I mix them up a lot). If hardly anyone votes, I'll feel sort of embarrassed, like I threw a party and no one showed up. Not that that's ever happened to me, or anything...

Of course, it was Cheri at Blog This Mom who started us off with her comment on the death of my dishwasher:

Any KitchenAid death diminishes me, because my dishes are in this model too,
and therefore never send to know for whom the repairman tolls;
it tolls for thee.

My apologies to John Donne.

Thus inspired, several other regular readers chimed in with their contributions:


Green Girl in Wisconsin rhapsodized -

Oh Amana, shall I compare thee to a week without children?
Thou art so soft, so quiet, so clean.
Your lovely chime when the load is done,
Is as refreshing as the morn's sun.
The sleek, smooth steel of your spinning core,
Always leaves me wanting more.

kcinnova sent in this "Ode to a Microwave," with apologies to ee cummings:

electric emotion
the sound of 3 long beeps
or is it 3 short beeps
or 2 shorts and a long?
matters not
only that my water heats
and then
the teabag slides
slowly
in

From Hairline Fracture, a pithy bit of Shakespeare:

"Alas, poor KitchenAid! I knew him, Horatio."

From Mom On The Verge, 2 verses of appliance haiku:

I scrape my child's food
Into the Disposall drain.
Cooking wastes my time.


My Disposall died.
I don't know what to do with
My toddler's dinner.

She also composed this little ditty (it would make a good jumprope jingle) (I mean, if anyone jumps rope anymore):

My microwave defrosts the food;
My oven cooks it up.
The garbage disposal eats the food,
And the dishwasher cleans the cup.

From The Hotfessional, an impassioned ode to her air conditioner, with help from Joyce Kilmer:

I think that I shall never see,
A thing as lovely as A/C,

A/C whose cooling air is prest
Against my sweaty, heaving br3ast.

A/C that runs the entire day,
And causes me to thankfully pray;

A/C that keeps my family cool,
during this summer heat so cruel;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make A/C.

Jenn at Juggling Life has composed the following little gem, with apologies to William Carlos Williams:

So much depends
upon

the insta-hot water
dispenser

ruby red rooibos
ready

in my mug
now

SubWife was inspired by Robert Burns (and Best Buy):

My heart is in Best Buy, my heart is not here
My heart is in Best Buy, a-chasing dishwasher
A-chasing dishwasher and ogling new fridge
My heart is in Best Buy whenever I dream.

Again, thank you all for participating. It's good to know that I am not the only blogger inspired to poetic meter by my electronic house servants.

The poll! Don't forget the poll!