Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Requiem

As recorded previously on this blog, almost 2 years ago I gave my heart to my KitchenAid dishwasher, with its sleek stainless steel interior; its roomy racks that held everything from dinner plates to 6-qt pots uncomplainingly; its silverware basket tucked demurely to the side, out of the way but useful. For almost 2 years it's been a part of my life, and now....now...the repairman has advised me to move on.

It's over, he said; go to BestBuy and find a new machine, ma'am, one that won't break your heart.

How can I be that callous? For me, a relationship with an appliance is a serious thing, a commitment even (just hush up about that little frost-free fling I had in February, all right?). How can I turn my back on an appliance that served me well for almost 2 years, washing my dishes (and drying them - without bickering) twice a day? Oh, yes, there was that rough spot when it refused to latch shut - but we got past that. I learned to forgive and forget, never realizing - alas! - that our days together were numbered.

O KitchenAid! My KitchenAid! Our fearful trip is done!
Our dishes stacked in every rack, no load left unrun;

Repairman's here, dishwasher dear, the children all exulting,

While follow eyes his steady hand, his toolbag grim and daring:

But O heart! Heart! Heart!

O, empty detergent cup!

On the floor my KitchenAid lies,

Fallen cold and dead.


[With sincere apologies to Mr. Walt Whitman]

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24 comments:

  1. That's pretty much the dishwasher I've been wanting for many years... once our current model (a cheap one!) bites the dust. However, I would NOT be pleased for it to only last TWO YEARS!!! What happend to it? Surely they are built to last longer than that!

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  2. My deepest sympathies. I had a Bosch that I LOVED and it didn't make the move with us into the new house (bc husband wanted to go all-stainless).

    Buy the Bosch. Trust me. You'll love it.

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  3. hahahha!!! That was priceless. Maybe you can submit it to Kitchen Aid as advertisement and see if they can give you a big discount on a new machine?

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  4. I am aghast! Only two years? I had a KitchenAid in my old house and loved it - in fact, my current dishwasher (LG) is making funny noises and I am feeling very betrayed by it after only 2.5 years. I would have gone for another KitchenAid in a second. Alas, fickle appliances, they have no loyalty. Condolences.

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  5. Wow, it only lasted two years, that's really not a good endorsement for KitchenAid.
    Hope you are able to find another that will last longer.

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  6. An appliance should definitely last more than two years. Our fridge made it, um, 3 1/2 I think? Which also is not long enough. (Insert your own rant about how they don't make 'em like they used to here.)

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  7. Any KitchenAid death diminishes me, because my dishes are in this model too, and therefore never send to know for whom the repairman tolls; it tolls for thee.

    My apologies to John Donne. And you.

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  8. I can't believe it only last two years! YIKES!
    Was it the paint brush incident? or something else?
    I am blessed to have moved into a house (4 years ago) in which the kitchen was remodeled in the late 70's. They did an AMAZING job. Custom cherry cabinets, Caloric double oven, GE dishwasher and Hotpoint fridge...They ALL still function! Also the washer and dryer in the basement are still kicking, too. They spent a fortune, for the time, but I'm reaping the rewards! Now I just pray that since I praised them all, they don't stop working for me. :)
    Good luck on your shopping trip.

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  9. My dishwasher is not new. We bought it for $50 used and not working and my husband fixed it and now we've had it for years and years and years. AND MY GOD BUT IT IS UGLY. But I love it.

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  10. Yes....but are they tested for a family with six children? That homeschools? Therefore most meals are eaten at home...you know, compared to an average family (which they probably tested their dishwasher for) you have probably put that machine through its paces. I mean a "family of 8 year" (like dog years) is probably equal to a 2.5 "normal” families 2 or 3 years use. Soooo you using your machine for two years was probably equal to about 4 to 6 years use from a small family that eats out and is never home for lunch. Hmmmmmmm? Well, now that I have prattled on with all that…4-6 years use still doesn't seem all that great anyway. This is a very sad story.

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  11. It's sad how excited I am for you!

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  12. Remember costco's warrantee and guarantee that you can bring it back for any reason, even after the warrantee expires, and they will give you a full refund. They just replaced an air conditioner we bought 4 years ago as the fan motor died. No hastle, brought it back, got a full refund and bought a new one. Their computer system can pull up a purchase from any costco in the country, so you don't need the save the receipt. :)

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  13. AnonymousJune 25, 2009

    I hate to sound OLD but... Seemed to me when my parents bought an appliance it was with us at LEAST 10 years. Nowadays they seem to break down (in threes) and cheaper to replace rather than fix.

    Not great for lessening our carbon footprint is it?

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  14. A dishwasher that inspires poetry? That would be hard to say bye to.

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  15. Great poem!

    At least it didn't catch fire as it said good-bye. That's what ours did. Hell hath no fury like a dishwasher scorned.

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  16. AnonymousJune 25, 2009

    Have to disagree with the commenters wondering if it is your large family doing the appliances in. No. I truly think things are just built cheaper these days.

    My family was one of eight total and I truly do not remember my parents replacing the appliances every few years. Guess I AM old as 'back in the day' appliances were repaired far more than replaced!

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  17. That is some kind of love! I'd be too busy muttering at it under my breath for dying so young.

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  18. I'm actually shocked and disappointed that it died after only 2 years. That's not right. I'm sorry.

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  19. Ok - you have done it!

    I give up!

    After months of reading your blog you have made me leave a comment!

    That was the best post ever! Hail to you SC!

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  20. Welcome to the comment box, Tuttimaniac! Feel free to come back...

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  21. And it was so young... I hope it didn't suffer. Are you sure you are ready to move on just yet? Maybe you should wait. ;)

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  22. i am sure writing this has helped you come through the grieving process.

    sniff. sniff.

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  23. OOOh, that dishwasher looked x rated, no wonder you loved it. Maybe a nice cute in a next door sort of way kind of machine will be faithful a little longer than that. Don't hold any grudges against your lost love, though. It was in his wiring to go all unfaithful and die on you like that.

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