A Danger To Society

Have I told you that I am a truly excellent driver? Have I mentioned that I have had no driving mishaps in, oh, 27 years (aside from one speeding ticket - I was going a whopping 44 mph at the time). Because I've just realized that some of you might be getting the wrong idea about me - let's face it, first I'm stopped by an MP for reckless driving; then, I sideswipe someone in a parking lot. And, then, well...there's what happened today.

You see, today I managed to put a hole the size of a golf ball in the sidewall of my tire. I know, it's pretty difficult to do, especially when you are only driving about 5 mph; but it may have something to do with the curb I ran into. I mean, who knew that storm drains were so sharp on the corners? Luckily, I was in the middle of pulling into my parking space at home, because the tire went flat in about 2.4 seconds. Whoosh! The kids thought it was really cool. So did Larry, when he came home from a long day at work and discovered he had some automotive repair to do.

Larry says he isn't upset; but when he dropped off the van at the garage this evening, he insisted I come with him so we could enjoy a pleasant stroll back to our house, right through coyote territory. Have I mentioned he has a life insurance policy on me? Do you think he feels it's time to cash in, or what? I mean, I'm getting sort of expensive.

We did take advantage of the situation to show Theo how to change a tire on a car. Really, that should be required knowledge before we let the teens get their licenses, anyway. So, as I pointed out to Larry, it was sort of good that this happened. Plus, it gave me something to blog about today that didn't involve voting for me. I guess he didn't agree, because he wouldn't let me take a picture of the hole in the tire. You'll have to take my word for it, it was really impressive - almost a perfect circle.

In other news, I went back to the expensive library today and paid them 20 dollars just so we could check out a few more books. I thought libraries were supposed to be free. What's up with that? I would have gone to the library that doesn't do fines, but my account there is "blocked" until we find the 2 missing Asterix books that the boys swear we don't have anymore. The librarian there suggested that I take out another library card in one of the kids' names and use that, but I knew better. That would be the road to perdition.

I sound like a loser, don't I? A crazy-driving, book-stealing, irresponsible loser. If our teens were doing all this, Larry and I would be all over them. For sure, they would be grounded.

But, hey, that's a good idea! Someone send me to my room for a week. I promise, I won't come out.



P.S. Did I mention that y'all can vote for me again today?

P.P.S. Did you notice how clever that was? I put it in the "P.S." part, just like Sue does. Hey, I can be all cool and nonchalant too, ya know.

P.P.S. Um...nothing, really....I just like things to be in threes....