Today, talking to another mother at Girl Scouts, I flicked my hair back over my shoulder and
a centipede fell onto my hand and onto the floor. After rushing to the bathroom and disinfecting my hand and waiting until the urge to throw up subsided, I returned to the scene of the crime and calmly carried on, my conversation-mate eyeing me a tad uneasily.
Then, in a desperate attempt to find the missing Harmony 8" DPN (size 5) required to knit Rachel's hat, I emptied my knitting bag onto the table between us. No DPN was found, of course, as they never come when you call them. I returned all the flotsam and jetsam (including a granola bar, 2 measuring tapes I can never find when I need them, and a misbegotten practice pom-pom) to the bag, leaving behind on the table one hitherto-undiscovered dead
stinkbug.
"What's THAT?" my friend said, staring at the motionless creature lying Kafka-esque-like on its buggy back, legs up.
"What?" I said, pretending I saw nothing.
"THAT!" she said, pointing. "It looks like a dead stinkbug."
"Oh, heh-heh, I guess it is," I said, excusing myself to go throw up again.
I feel like the Typhoid Mary of bugs. An entomological leper, if you will...
oh typhoid mary of bugs, this is disgusting! ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou have my sympathy - we found a centipede on our media room floor yesterday morning and I about threw up as well! I covered the darn thing with a bowl until the hubby could be summoned to remove it from the premises. I know we are supposed to love all of God's creatures, but seriously, WHAT was he thinking when he made those disgusting things?!
ReplyDeleteYou'd hear me screaming from your house if a centipede had been in my hair. No joke.
ReplyDeletePlease, allow me to add: AHHHGGHH AUUUUGGGGGHHH AHHH (Breeaath) AUUGGHHH AAEEEIIIII!
ReplyDeleteI have an alive stinkbug in a jar on my kitchen counter. My daughter wanted to save it. Just thought you might like to know....
ReplyDeleteI had a spider crawl up my butt a couple of weeks ago, and my DH *POINTED IT OUT* to me. Cue panic attack. Afterward, he said he'd never seen my legs move so fast in the entire time he's known me. I'm just glad I kept the bile at bay. I'm not sure if a centipede is better or worse. *shudder*
ReplyDeleteThe sun came back out today after being in hiding for a couple of days, which means I caught (in a small glass of soapy water) 3 stinkbugs on my living room window. I'm currently ignoring 2 dead stinkbugs on the floor, in hopes that someone else will pick them up and throw them away.
ReplyDeleteAnd yesterday, while in bare feet, I told one of my kids to please put on shoes and smash a bug on the kitchen floor.
But we don't have centipedes. Yet.
At least no bedbugs!
ReplyDeleteAny bug in hair is justification to drink heavily or spend copious amounts of money on a hobby--recovery is important in such times. URGENTLY important.
ReplyDeleteAt least you find your dead bugs. I thought I killed one giant moth in my living room and have never found it.
ReplyDeleteThe other night there was a giant spider on the ceiling and when I looked 4 minutes later IT WAS GONE.
Please tell me the centipede did not look like the one in your picture...if so, *I* may go throw up!
ReplyDeleteyeah, those centipede thingies - truly gross. Blech. Stinkbugs are just primordial-looking and annoying. But I definitely wouldn't want one in my purse.
ReplyDelete