Whither Winter?

All last week, the temps couldn't get past 30 degrees.  It even snowed a teeny bit.  My poor, snow-deprived children grabbed their sleds and made the most of it, even though grass was clearly visible above the snow cover.

Okay, I'll admit it.  After they all went to bed that day?  I took one of those sleds and put it through its paces myself.

Not typically a part of my January wardrobe

So, today? 69 degrees.  Our cheap plastic sleds, abandoned and useless, are sitting outside in a mud swamp.   And tomorrow, it should reach at least 70.  I'm even considering pulling out my FitFlops.  I loves my FitFlops. 

But I still want my winter back.  Please?





[FitFlop image: Island Trends]

Puppy Love

Really, Mom?  Only $500?

A friend of mine used to move a lot (generally with pets) for her husband's job in the military.  When her family transferred to Maine, she registered with the local veterinary practice.  This particular practice had a long questionnaire to fill out, and one of the questions on it was as follows: "Do you consider your pet to be a member of your family?"  My friend, after thinking about this for a minute or two, wrote, "I consider my pet to be a member of the family only up to 500 dollars.  After that, NO."

I totally get that.  I guess you would say I am not much of an animal person.  But I do have a friend who is very much an animal person, someone who definitely does not put a $500 ceiling on her attachment to her pets.  Which helps to explain her enormous vet bills due to the amputation of her dog's cancerous leg.  Oh, and then there was the chemotherapy, and xrays...you get the idea.  She's gone way over 500 dollars.

Cory loves animals, too.

Now, Kristin and I share a strong bond - not through a love of animals, of course, but through our mutual adoration of Cory Booker, the hunk-y mayor of Newark who saves women from burning buildings and probably leaps tall buildings in a single bound.  Also, she held my hand (figuratively, across the Internets) early on Election Night, when I started freaking out and hyperventilating.  So I would like to tell people about the etsy shop she has just opened.  You see, she is a very productive knitter (unlike, say, moi).  She has put a number of her handmade items up for sale, with all the proceeds going to pay off her sky-high vet bills.  Also, there are the pain meds for her poor dog - they're pretty pricey.

Obviously Obamacare isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Cory! I think your mom would like this.

Anyway, Kristin needs to pay for these things before she starts seeking oncology treatment for her cat.  No, I don't know why both her pets have cancer.  In my day, pets didn't even get cancer.  They just got older and slower until they had to be put to sleep. Or, at least, that's what my parents told me.

So!  If any of you are interested in buying some darn nice hand-knitted items, please check out Kristin's Etsy shop.  If you are interested in a custom order (an American Girl doll dress for your daughter's doll, say, or a lacy baby blanket), take a look at the items she has knitted in the past for some ideas.

Hey, maybe I'll tweet Cory Booker and see if he wants to buy his mom a nice hand-knit hat.  After all, he IS that sort of a guy. 

[Puppy image: Steve Curtin]
[Cory Booker image: Business Insider]

Time Machine

Kayla of Shut the Fridge won the Celebrity sTalker book giveaway.  This is actually old-ish news, but I kept forgetting to mention it.  I was too busy this week writing about hot flashes and cauliflower.  Congratulations, Kayla!  I actually have the book packaged up, and I'll be mailing it out Tuesday.  Unless I forget to bring it with me, the way I left Theo's care package of homemade banana muffins baked with a mother's love lying on the kitchen table last week as I ran out the door to take the kids to art class.

At least books don't get moldy.

And here is the point where I should announce the next book giveaway, right?  It's The New Kings of Nonfiction.  It's over 400 pages, and I am currently bogged down somewhere in the middle of it.  Not that it isn't a good book, mind you; but it's a collection of nonfiction pieces compiled by Ira Glass (of This American Life fame), so my interest level fluctuates according to which piece I am reading.

What disturbs me is this: I recognized one of the pieces, an essay by Malcolm Gladwell that I remembered reading (and enjoying) in The New Yorker a few years ago.  Well, maybe as many as 6 years ago, even.  Or 4?  Maybe it was only 4.  Annoyed I couldn't remember, I turned to the page in the book that gives the copyright dates of the different essays.  Yes, there it was.

Published in The New Yorker in 1999.

When reading, beware of wormholes...

1999?  Nineteen Ninety-Nine.  Could that be possible?  For those of you who are slow at math, that was 14 years ago...  


14 years...that's more than a decade, so why did it seem like I had read it recently?  In 1999, Brian, Rachel, and Susie hadn't even been born yet.  I first read that Gladwell essay in a completely different era, back when I was still a youngish mother of three with a face that didn't sag, when I had only a dial-up connection and dinosaurs roamed the earth. 

Apparently, I blinked, and 14 years flew by.  Which means, next thing I know, I am going to be eligible for Medicare.  This whole passage of time phenomenon freaks me out.

Anyway, I should be done with this wormhole/book  in a day or two.  Leave a comment if you are interested in being the next person to read it! 






[Book image: Goodreads] 
[Wormhole image: Radio Freethinker]

Hold The Ketchup

I attempted a recipe from Pinterest today.

I know!  I've become THAT mom.

It was touted as being mac-n-cheese, but with cauliflower instead of macaroni.   Now, I know long-time readers might be wondering, "Hey - why don't you just serve the cauliflower with ketchup, the way you always have?"  And the answer is "I don't know."  I guess I was looking to make my mac-n-cheese healthier.  Or maybe I was just trying to make my life more difficult.

Anyway, when I took a closer look, I realized that the ingredients for the recipe called for heavy cream and cream cheese in addition to the regular shredded cheese.  I swear, my cholesterol rose 15 points just from reading the directions.

Cardiac Cauliflower

So, in an effort to stay alive another couple of decades, I decided to take my regular mac-n-cheese recipe (which receives mixed reviews, but that is because I married a weirdo who doesn't like the heavenly combination of pasta and cheese and who passed that particular idiosyncrasy on to at least 2 of his children) and just substitute cauliflower instead.  I know!  The Pioneer Woman probably wishes she were me.

Seriously, who DOESN'T like mac-n-cheese?  It's almost un-American.


After no little effort in the kitchen this evening, I ended up with what can only be described as some sort of cheesy cauliflower gravy.  But, wonder of wonders, they ate it!  Nobody cried!  And no one even thought about asking for ketchup.  Once I fine-tune this recipe, I'm going to post it to Pinterest and become famous.  Among the mac-n-cheese-hating crowd, anyway...





[Cheesy Cauliflower image: LouAnne's Kitchen]

The Poise That Refreshes

Now, I believe I have alluded in the past to the gobsmacking nature of menopause.  Let's review: at a time in your life when you are most likely enjoying the charming experience of living with a child going through the throes of puberty (complete with eyerolls, disdainful sneers, and angst galore), you yourself are experiencing what can only be described as a second adolescence, only less fun.  

Some days, I feel like this.

Acne, insecurity about your appearance, public embarrassment (when you forget to cross your legs before you sneeze) - ladies, all this and more will be yours at some point in your 40's.  Couple those delights with a face that insists on following the siren call of gravity and the realization that you have suddenly TURNED INTO YOUR MOTHER, and you've got a recipe for a humdinger of a decade.

Am I being too negative?  Forgive me.   Remember that movie in 4th grade?  The one that called the onset of menses a beautiful time in one's life?  We don't need to be lied to again, do we?  

Menopause sucks.  It's not beautiful, not unless you think "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" is incredibly alluring.

I swear to God, I just uttered that line TODAY to my dental hygienist.  SHOOT ME NOW.

Where was I?  Oh, yes, menopause.  There are some benefits to this time of our lives, true.  I'm no longer spending money on Kotex, for instance.  Of course, those funds are now going toward products that bill themselves - erroneously, I might add - as "wrinkle-removers"; but at least I no longer have to worry about being stocked up, as it were.  And I can schedule a trip to the beach without planning around "that time of the month."

Hey, who else remembers teen slumber parties where you discussed, "Oh my gosh, what if you have your period on your wedding night?"

Just me?  Okay, never mind.

Anywhoo, Poise (which is - full disclosure - sponsoring this post, but the opinions herein are mine, ALL MINE) has come out with a line of products designed to mitigate some of the less pleasant aspects of going through this time of life.

People, when BlogHer told me I could test one of these products, I immediately fixated on their Roll-On Cooling Gel, a purse-friendly tube of something magic that delivers a cooling sensation when you roll it on your wrists or neck.   You see, my current method of alleviating the discomfort that accompanies hot flashes is to grab an ice pack from the freezer and apply it to the back of my neck.  As you can imagine, this approach can be a little difficult to implement when one is away from home.  As a result, my spouse has had to endure the embarrassment of watching me, in public, fish ice cubes out of my drink and shove them down the back of my shirt.


Of course, that embarrassment is NOTHING compared to what he would experience were I to follow my first instinct of simultaneously stripping down to my underwear and dumping my cold drink over my head.  So, really, he shouldn't complain, don't you think?


Anyway, it struck me that this Roll-On Cooling Gel idea might be a more subtle way to deal with hot flashes when I am away from my freezer.  And I'm pleased to report that it does help mitigate the discomfort I experience from hot flashes.  What's more, it doesn't have any funky scent that would give me a headache.  So many products designed for women are contaminated with perfumes that are, for me and many others, a direct ticket to a migraine.  This Cooling Gel is NOT one of them.

Poise brand's other products designed for this "change of life," as I remember Edith Bunker calling it, are the following:

Body Cooling Towelettes offer instant cooling and refreshment.  Gently wipe the towelette on wrists, chest or neck to feel cool and comfortable. Featuring a portable, re-sealable package, these towelettes are easy to use anywhere you go.

Personal Lubricant designed to enhance your intimate experience. This lubricant features an easy to use bottle and is made without Fragrance, Glycerin or Parabens.
 
Panty Fresheners have a fresh and clean scent that lasts up to four hours. These discreet,  hypoallergenic fresheners stick to the outside of your undergarments so you can confidently go about your day. 

Feminine Wash provides daily freshness with a unique formulation that is pH balanced for your intimate area. Glycerin and paraben free, this gentle wash will help you feel clean and confident.

Learn more about these new products, hear stories from real women, share your own, and pledge to join The 2nd Talk at Poise.com.    Also, get a free sample by clicking here or download a coupon here.

And, wait!  Here's the best part: Poise is giving away a $100 Visa gift card to one lucky commenter on this post.  All you have to do is answer the following question:

How are you approaching life's changes confidently?

Sweepstakes Rules

No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

1. Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
2. Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: "#SweepstakesEntry"; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
3. Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
4. For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 120 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 1/22/13-2/19/13.
Be sure to visit the Poise brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!



[Edith Bunker image: Talent Mechanic]