Stop. Just...Stop.

I know - I've gone missing.  Not sure anyone's even noticed, actually.  But I'm just popping in to say that I should be back at some point.  In the meantime, if I see one more blog post about making homemade marshmallows, I refuse to be responsible for my actions.  PEOPLE - marshmallows are available in your local grocery store for less than 2 dollars a bag.  They are not meant to be gourmet cuisine.  STOP RAISING THE BAR. 

Sheesh, it's only 2 days until Christmas - you'd think folks would have something better to do than get all pretentious about their junk food, wouldn't you?

That Goose Is Getting Fat

Remember this discovery of mine?  Well, I'm still enjoying Songza (and now so is Jennifer Jo over at Mama's Minutiae); but I'm guessing that Larry rues the day I discovered the "Singin' in the Shower: 80's Edition" playlist there.

Seriously, people, how could someone NOT like Huey Lewis and the News?

It's raining ice right now.  ICE.  We lucked out earlier this week and experienced a snowfall that ALMOST covered all the grass; so my poor winter-fun-deprived children made the most of it, with sleds and shovels and hot cocoa.  Now we have got a muddy mess and frozen stuff falling out of the sky.  I guess that is as close as we are ever going to get to a winter wonderland around here, so I'll take it.

I guess this could be a possibility.

Christmas knitting?  Don't ask.  I'm at the facing-reality stage of that process right now.  You know, the stage when you decide that, really, not all of your relatives deserve handknits?  Where you ruthlessly slash the recipient list to meet the realities of the space-time continuum?  Yeah, that stage.

And if anyone can tell me what the heck I was planning to do with the 7 skeins of City Tweed DK yarn (sage green) that showed up in my latest Knitpicks order, I'd really appreciate it.  Because I haven't a clue.

Crantastic

Today Rachel handed flyers out around the neighborhood, offering to bake cranberry bread/muffins for a reasonable price.  "Leave your holiday baking to me!" the flyer exhorts her hapless victims. 

"What if too many people order?" asked Larry, with some concern, after she left.

"Oh, no, that won't happen," I said.  "We did this last year - a few people ordered a few loaves and a couple of dozen muffins, and it was spread out over a 2-week period.  She made some money for Christmas, and everyone was happy."  And then I went blithely on with my day, secure in the knowledge that most people aren't interested in ordering homemade baked goods from an 11-year-old.

We all know how this ends, right?

Rachel went to sleep with dollar signs in her eyes tonight, leaving me to sit up and marvel at how easily my plans for the week had been torpedoed.  Because tomorrow I need to help Rachel churn out the equivalent of 14 loaves of cranberry bread for our apparently hungry neighbors.  And damn right I'm taking a cut of that money - cranberries don't grow on trees, you know.

This gentleman doesn't know what he's gotten me into.

[Cranberry bog image: Mass Great Outdoors Blog]

Maturity Bites

Susie is singing "Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!" over and over and OVER again.  Loudly.  Tell me - where's the Geneva Convention when I need it?

My nice relaxed Saturday suddenly became over-scheduled and impossible to manage, and there is not much I can do about it. Have I mentioned I have been anointed the president of our local homeowners' association?  It's a tiny one, luckily - just our immediate neighborhood of 47 homes.  But, because of this august position, I'm meeting with a landscape consultant this morning.  And with the snowplow guy this afternoon, to sign a contract.  If we have the surprise winter storm of the century around here tomorrow, it will be because I didn't get that contract signed.

Seems like people are suddenly expecting me to do all sorts of grown-up things. When did I turn into an adult, anyway?

Anyone Seen Me?

Hey, I have something to ask all you normal people out there - you know, those of you who actually have cable TV and watch the nightly news?  A friend of mine just emailed me saying that, while she was watching the news on ABC, she saw a Samsung Galaxy commercial wherein the woman using the phone was pulling up my blog to her screen.  MY BLOG.  Has anyone else spotted this?  Can anyone find a link to this ad?

Just trying to enjoy my 15 seconds of fame, is all...