Baaa-d Company

See what I did up there?  I'm so clever.

I had a sock crisis this week that I am still trying to resolve.  It involved my being daring enough to try something new for the legs, and then paying heavily for my temerity.  So much for my plan to knit one pair of socks each month of this year.  Do you realize how discouraging it is that it is only January, and I am already falling behind?

This will be me, only w/out the elaborate headdress.

To make matters worse, I'm falling prey to all sorts of insidious peer influences lately.  Due to my dependence on knitting as the only way to stave off my feelings of existentialist angst (and the nagging suspicion that I should be doing some housework instead), I've been hanging out with others of my ilk who insist on luring me into other time-consuming hobbies/obsessions.  Just yesterday evening at Knit Night, for example, one woman practically FORCED a drop spindle into my hands and instructed me in the fine art of spinning thread from wool.  I had barely gotten the hang of this when another woman tried to sell me her "extra" table loom.  Man, she's like a weaving pimp.  And we won't even talk about the offers to attend weekend retreats devoted to any number of fiber arts.

Oooh, but look, there's one in Chicago this August!  Take a gander at the classes offered - Mobius Mysteries Untangled, Seams Made Simple, Sweater "Boot Camp" - who could resist?  Looks like I will have to, though, as this particular extravaganza would set me back $400 plus hotel and travel.  I don't understand how knitters, who tend to spend all their spare cash on every enticing skein of merino that comes along, manage to afford these retreats.  Oh, yes, they have jobs and all that...and I guess they don't waste all their money on evicting bats from their houses...but still, upwards of $700 for 3 days of knitting?

Hmmm, I wonder if the kids really need to eat this summer...

The XY Chromosome Strikes Again

Well! I just read about a groundbreaking study conducted in Norway that tells us the following heretofore unknown fact:

(Ready?)

Married?  Moi?

Forgetfulness is more common in men than in women

Could have knocked me over with feather!  Apparently, according to researchers, men tend to forget dates and names more frequently than do women.  They said, and I quote, "...The results of this study were unambiguous."  I guess they had to spend lots and lots of money finding that out, because for sure no one knew that before.


I mean, aside from every married woman ever...

[This post is for Larry, who only pretends he remembered our anniversary earlier this month. Thanks for the card and the flowers, but sorry, honey, I know the truth.  That stool pigeon of a teen of ours let you in on the secret right before the stores closed.]


[Forgetful man image: Science in our World]

Jack-Booted Thugs

I've pretty much had the weekend off from any childcare duties, because Larry took Brian and the girls with him BOTH DAYS to help deliver flyers for the mulch sale sponsored by Brian's Boy Scout troop.  Considering that the annual mulch delivery extravaganza sucks a whole weekend out of my life every year, I believe that this is fair payback.  The girls are actually quite helpful - they sit in the car and roll up flyers, while the boys stuff the flyers in everyone's mailboxes.

Mailboxes - ay, there's the rub. 

Larry was stopped by a post office vigilante this afternoon in a very price-y neighborhood, where the boys had been nefariously tucking their flyers between the mailbox flags and the mailboxes at the end of each driveway.  Flashing his official post-office cop badge, this gentleman informed my husband that he was breaking the law by allowing flyers to be placed in what are apparently federally-regulated mail receptacles.  It seems he stopped just short of handcuffing my husband and leading him away to prison in front of his wide-eyed children.  Larry groveled and apologized and was let go with a stern warning, however, so our offspring didn't have to experience a real-life version of The Railway Children.

I'm sorry, dearies, but your father is a criminal.

Sheesh.  Forget Edward Snowden's complaints about the NSA, this is what government overreach looks like, people.  Where does it end?  Will they start confiscating Girl Scout cookies next, under Michelle Obama's healthy-eating initiative?  Will I have to hide behind a bookcase in an attic to eat my beloved Trefoils?  As David intoned, "First they came for the Boy Scouts, and I did nothing..."


[Railway Children image: GPB Television]

Om Sweet Om

Still cold here. I guess that has something to do with its being January and all, right?

I made a real New Year's resolution this year for a change - I vowed to start attending yoga classes again.  I was driven to this by the fact that every time I walk or stand or sit or lie down, my hip seizes up and presses on my sciatica, which makes my leg go dead.  Then I start walking funny, which makes my back hurt.  Apparently 50 is the new 80 around here - I'm gimping around on a bad leg and groaning every time I have to get up or down from the couch.

Larry insists it's sexy.  He's nobody's fool.

This totally isn't me.

So I'm trying to go to yoga a few times a week, plus I am experimenting with some yoga videos I found on Amazon.  The problem with yoga videos is that everyone talks and acts like a sort of yoga robot on them.  The one I am currently using (from Yoga Journal) looks futuristic, in a 1960's Star Trek sort of way.  Humanoids in yoga pants, if you know what I mean.  Very flexible humanoids with perfect posture...

Also, I hate the way all the women in these videos have waists.  I miss mine terribly.  And everyone (in the videos AND in class) has such cute outfits - why can't I find me one of those?  Believe me, I've tried.  I walk into Target or Kohl's, determined to purchase a colorful form-fitting, sweat-wicking spandex something-or-other, and I walk out with yet another pair of black leggings to wear with some lousy-fitting t-shirts I have at home.  Every single time.  WHERE DOES EVERYONE GET THEIR CUTE EXERCISE CLOTHES?

And who knew yoga could be so stressful?




[Yoga Journal image: Yoga Anatomy]

Did Someone Say Downton?

Wow.  It's COLD here. But I didn't let that stop me from taking the two youngest girls out on a lengthy walk this morning.  Strength through suffering, and all that.  Also, they bicker less when their mouths are frozen shut.

Now we are hunkered down inside while I keep guard over the thermostat. I'm not going to let one, albeit lengthy, cold snap drain the college funds, for heaven's sake. Kids today...

Downton Abbey fans?  Anyone?  Let me remind you that Jenny and her daughter Lillian provide a witty synopsis of each episode right here on Lillian's blog.  Worth reading for the picture captions alone.  Go!  What are you waiting for?