So, I weighed in today, and somehow I managed to gain 2 pounds this week. While starving to death. Personally? I feel that the woman at the desk was jealous at how the pounds are just slipping off me and fudged the figures....either that, or the scale is off. But what do I care? I don't need no stinkin' weight loss. Round can be cute, so the hell with it.
What? Why, yes, I did have some chocolate when I came home. How did you know? And I just may have a little more, right now. It's okay so long as I write it down, right?
Larry came home, ate dinner, and took David to Cub Scouts. At some point this evening I may get a chance to speak with him, but it will probably be one of those conversations where I end up pointing out the zillion and one things we need to do around the house this weekend. He loves that.
The children started talking at dinner about our having another baby, and I explained to them that I am probably too old to have any more. Rachel agreed, saying, "You would die before it could grow up." Thanks, dear. And who do I have to thank for my premature aging, anyway?
Anna is interested in boys. I knew this already, and I was pretty much taking it in stride. I even gave her a funny book about dating that she actually bothered to read. But it has lately transpired that there is a specific boy who likes her. And e-mails her. And every time I think about this, I start hyperventilating. Anyone remember Kevin Bacon in "She's Having A Baby," right after Elizabeth McGovern says, "I stopped taking the Pill 3 months ago"? That whole scene where he imagines himself in the path of a powerful locomotive? That's me. I am so not ready for this.
Excuse me, I have to go breathe into a paper bag again.
By the way, I really appreciate all the comments on yesterday's post. I am relieved to hear that I am not mean (or, if I am mean, I've got lots of company) for shutting my kids in their rooms by 8 o'clock every evening. Either I do that, or I scream uncontrollably; and I do hate to frighten the children.
My daughter is 15, not allowed to date until 16, has already been asked out a few times. My husband is already preparing his "Dirty Harry" speech for when someone asks for her hand. "While I may hand over the titles of provider, protector and comforter to you, I will never hand over the title of avenger!" Yowza!
ReplyDeleteWhat fun teenagers are!
I think paragraph #4 of your post is worthy of some more chocolate. You know, to soothe.
ReplyDeleteThat two pounds was probably actually just muscle - just like the four pounds of muscle I gained over the holidyas this year.
ReplyDeleteDating??? I don't even want to think about that! My daughter is only three but just hearing the word makes me want to grab a paper bag with you!
ReplyDeleteWell, I can make you feel ever better. I gained a couple of pounds on my "diet" too (the couple I lost the week before) and I didn't even eat any chocolate. Probably was those butter cookies...Or stress.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to sound repetitive here, but I'm so glad I have boys. If ever a girl child shows up here none of us would have the slightest idea of what to do with her.
ReplyDeleteAnd they give us grey hairs, too. Hey, I high-fived you over at my blog.
ReplyDeleteMaria
Dating....Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal Can't hear you. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalal No. I'm just not ready, give me back my forth grader who said he'd adopt but no wife. Loving my 2nd grader who says he'll be a priest because that way he NEVER has to marry. That's my boy!
ReplyDeleteI've been lurking a bit on your blog. love it. i hate those ladies behind the counter. i hate those scales. i hate the meetings. i'm doing it. but i'm cranky about it.
ReplyDeleteThere's a reason my husband or I answer the phone. Go eat more chocolate.
ReplyDeleteOh the dreaded weigh-in :(
ReplyDeleteBTW I make my kids go to bed by 8 PM and I always have. Good for you.
My kids discuss me dying--apparently they think that they will take turns being in charge of our family until the last one is still breathing.
ReplyDeleteDating? Yikes!
Chidlren? Weigh-In? All with question marks...I'm sensing some serious denial going on!!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry...I've just learned that I'm an uncool Mom. Sigh.
God bless.
I used to BEG my mom for another baby, but she had already gone insane after having me. A 4th would have surely killed her, and I'm not even joking.
ReplyDeleteWhenever my daughter suggests another baby, I tell her the baby will want to play with all of her toys. That usually ends the conversation.
ReplyDeleteThe scales are possessed. There was probably just some cranky lady behind you who put her foot on the scale where you couldn't see and added a couple of pounds.
Have more chocolate, without delay.
Not to make your hyperventilating worse or anything, but I did watch Juno following your "review", and I can see why you'd be worried. Lock that girl in her room, I say!
ReplyDeleteHeidi
I'm already DREADING the day when my baby girl wants to date. Yeah, she's 8 months old. My hubby plans on greeting the fellow with his shotgun in hand.
ReplyDeleteI just posted something about the 'diet' (if that's what you want to call it) today so your 1st paragraph really made me giggle. I used to be a member of LA Weight Loss a few years back. I lost 30 lbs in 3 months and got thinner than most of the women who worked there ... one gal WOULD fudge the numbers, no joke. LOL Oh well!
~melody~
Awww, darn weigh-ins! It's just some extra water weight. Or you know, muscles weigh more than fat. Or you're always heavier the day after a workout. Didja eat a lot of salt yesterday? Yep, that'll do it.
ReplyDeleteKeep your eyes on the goal. Up one week, down the next. One day at a time. You can do it!!!
I can't think of any other cheery weight watchers sentiments. I'll come back later if I think of something.
Dating. Wow.
ReplyDeleteMy 9 year old daughter is currently in the other room screaming at her brothers. I can't imagine any poor boy wanting to deal with her moods.
Or her table manners.
As for the weight gain, I have this theory that the whole world needs to stay at the same weight, so when someone looses weight, it floats around in the air until someone else gains it. You are the unfortunate recipient of someone else's weight loss. Go start hanging out with people who are gaining weight. Like pregnant women, and anyone dining at all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants.
Try it.
See? Another reason you could not raise a grandchild as your own: apparently, you'll be dead soon.
ReplyDeleteoy. i am so not ready for boys to be interested in my daughter. i will be locking her in her room full time when that happens. but for not, she's only 5. ;)
ReplyDeleteChocolate is good. It otta be illegal to gain weight while doing Weight Watchers. At the very least they should discount your membership a few bucks!
ReplyDeleteI think of all the stupid things I did as a teenager and a young adult, and it really makes me want to lock my kids up immediately. I mean, all the things my own mother STILL doesn't know about.
ReplyDeleteWhenever my youngest (of 4) daughter would ask about another baby, I would say "Someone has to be the youngest, and we picked you!"
ReplyDeleteI trust my 10 year old daughter to be able to fight off the boys... she can bring her 18 year old brother to his knees. It's kind of funny (but I'm sick... I know). I DO worry about the dating seen, etc. My son is 14 and girls call him, text him and email him non-stop. But he's not allowed to go out with any of them. Dating is enough to turn anyone gray. And I speak for myself, of course.
ReplyDeleteMy first grader son says he has a girlfriend. I say, "I know and aren't I beautiful." He says, "Not you mom!!" I say, "I am the only girlfriend you are aloud to have until you are 20!!"
ReplyDeleteI don't think my stratigy is working well?!! I weigh myself everyday. I'll lose weight and gain it instantly?? I don't get it? I go with the scale is busted!!
I have something for you on my blog :-)
ReplyDeleteTwo pounds? Fuggeddaboutit. Tomorrow is another day.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't here yesterday, but I can vouch that you are NOT mean!
My husband and I did Weight Watchers about a year ago (until I got pregnant) and we used to scrimp and save our points so that we could splurge once a week and split a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough. Did you know that half of one of the large tubes is only 13 points?
ReplyDeleteThe word verification thingy just had me write a novel to get my comment posted!
Teenaged girls are scary...been there, done that, am repeating through grandchildren. My oldest has three teenaged girls and one boy in the house...four of them to monitor...very scary! Thanks for visiting my blog! I sure enjoy yours.
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