Men Are From Whatever Planet People Can't Hear On

Folks, this is how we communicate around here, in case you are wondering what 25 years of marriage looks like:

ME: So, judging from the read-through last night, we shouldn't bring the girls to the LTYM show. Think they're okay if we just leave them here for the afternoon?

HIM: Show?

ME: The Listen To Your Mother show is on May 1st. Can the kids stay by themselves at home?

This is what he looked like, I swear it.

HIM: <look of extreme incomprehension>

ME: Do you have ANY idea what I am talking about?

HIM: Wasn't the show last night?

ME: No! That was the read-through.

HIM: 

ME: You thought I was performing in LTYM last night and you just waved bye? Didn't you want to SEE it?

At this point, Larry is sitting there with the classic confused-husband look. I take pity on him and try again. Slowly.

ME: Last night we were all reading our pieces to each other to hear how they sounded together. The SHOW is on May 1st. 

HIM: I thought you changed it. So last week was the cast party and this week was just practice? When's the show again?

ME: May 1st. Can we leave the girls alone here while we are at the show?

More confused-husband look. I mean, what is there not to understand? I try to ignore him and finish my breakfast, but the sensation of confusion emanating in WAVES from his end of the table is overwhelming. I lose it.

ME: Larry, this isn't that hard!

The baffled look on his face doesn't change. I turn to Brian, who is sitting across from me.

ME: You understand this, don't you?
BRIAN: I thought you taped the show last night and it would be on YouTube today.

All this to explain why I'm giving my free ticket to Anna. These menfolk don't even DESERVE to see the show.