Tell me, how is it possible for a 3-year-old child to already own more than a dozen mismatched socks? Where do the mates go? It is conundrums like this that eat away at my soul, bit by bit, until there is nothing left of me but a half-crazed woman roaming the aisles at Target, searching fruitlessly for a pack of all-white little girl socks.
Fruitlessly, I say, because you cannot buy a whole bunch of socks in the same color. You have to buy them in packages of 6, and heaven forbid that you should be able to find a package that has less than 4 different colors in it. So you buy the assorted colors, and when some socks disappear, you think, "Ha, ha - I'm no dummy. I'll go back and buy another pack of the same kind, and then I'll have spares!"
Well, that's what I think, anyway. I know, I'm so clever. So I go back to Target and buy another pack and I bring it home and discover that the socks are not precisely the same kind as the socks I bought previously, because the evil sock manufacturers change the design every 6 weeks or so. Just to make me crazy.
Yes, that's right - while some women can manage to raise 5 children while governing an entire state, I cannot even manage to dress my kids in socks that match. Which probably explains why no one has asked me to be Vice President...
