Today Larry took the kids to the summer festival one town over, just like we do every year. Except when we don't. Looks like we missed - oops! - 2 whole years, even though it is only 10 minutes away. 10 minutes!
Larry decided it would be most efficient to take the kids there right after the pancake breakfast at church. Because we parents of large families are all about convenience and efficiency.
"Um, you're going to let them go on rides with their stomachs full of scrambled eggs?" I said.
"Hey, it's not every Pancake Sunday they can throw up only 10 minutes from home," Larry answered. " Last time, we traveled a whole hour, remember?"
[Note to new-ish readers: you must click on that link - it's worth it]
"So, you're going to take them straight from the Pancake Breakfast to rides that spin them in circles..."
"Yes! Exactly! They can ride those bears that twirl around..."
"The Barfing Bears?"
"Yes!"
"And the merry-go-puke?"
"Right! And don't forget - the Tilt-a-Hurl!"
We just crack ourselves up.
I am happy to report, however, that everyone returned from the fair with their breakfasts intact. Larry bought them snow cones and lollipops, too. Anyone wonder why he is the favorite parent? Rachel was disappointed that she wasn't allowed on the bumper cars, but we thought it best not to let her test her driving capabilities.
Oh - and then, after that, while walking to a nearby shopping center for a lunch date, Larry and I saw an honest-to-goodness coyote. First Larry insisted it was a dog, then he suggested a fox; I think he just didn't want to admit I was right, because I yelled "Coyote!" before he did. He can be sorta competitive that way.
You know how they say to make yourself look large and threatening if you run into one of these creatures? Well, you can't do that when you are under 5 feet tall. So I cowered behind Larry and exhorted him to "Look taller!" while the creature stared at us and wouldn't move. It finally decided that Larry wasn't going to abandon his lower-on-the-food-chain wife and slunk away, in a very coyote-like fashion.
But it looked really hungry...
So glad everyone kept their pancakes down, and that loving Larry didn't sacrifice you to save himself. Sometimes men are known to do things like that.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in close proximity to coyotes, and they're no big deal. They just want to eat your cat. You don't have to try to act tall because they're already pretty small. Just ignore them and they'll go away. That's my experience.
ReplyDeleteHoly cow, I've never seen a coyote outside of the television and the zoo. Guess I'm too city-fied. lol
ReplyDeleteTilt a Hurl, love it! We have coyotes here too, and they're so cute..and "dog like" in some ways - and I always have this urge to pet them and then I remember that they're WILD creatures. DUH.
ReplyDeleteI hope nobody hurled in the whirl! Funny, funny. Our family does NOT puke. Seriously, I can count on three fingers the times one of my three children have thrown up and the oldest is almost 12. Considering myself supremely lucky!
ReplyDeleteThank God...no barfing. In your house, this is worthy of some award!
ReplyDeleteA Barf Free Adventure? Congratulations!!!
ReplyDeleteWe had a FOX on the other side of our backyard fence two weeks ago...still watching for his return. "Holly" and I like to count "wildlife" regularly.
Blessings, EJT
minnesota matron - now, now, no gloating!
ReplyDeletememarie lane - my toddler is about the size of a large cat - is it safe to go for a walk with her or not?
Discussions of puke but no actual vomit? What a let down.
ReplyDeletealison - so sorry to disappoint...
ReplyDeleteFunny you should mention barf. This morning my almost three year old puked all over herself and her carseat just as we arrived at her brother's eye appointment in a town 40 minutes from home. And I just got home from picking my 6 year old up from school- she showed up in the office with a bucket and they called me immediately. Cowards! No barfing from her yet but it's early yet.
ReplyDeleteTilt-a-hurl...awesome!
ReplyDeleteSo Larry saved your life, huh? You owe him for saving you!
angelawd
molly - Good times!
ReplyDeleteWe have coyotes here, too. And are you really under 5 ft tall?
ReplyDeleteThat coyote was thinking, "Mmm...they're full of pancakes."
ReplyDeleteTilt-a-Hurl was hilarious!
jennifer h - Larry thought of it first, and I'm jealous.
ReplyDeleteree - 4 feet, 10 and a half inches...
When I was in the Coast Guard boot camp they made us swim right after breakfast just hoping we would throw up...
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing more satisfying than correctly identifying wildlife before your husband is there?
ReplyDeleteI have very horrible memories of being thrown up on by my brother when I was 11. He had hotdogs for lunch and it was very evident what he had eaten....so gross...I still don't like fairs.
ReplyDeleteI saw a coyote 2 miles west of the Pentagon on my way home one night. I was startled, to say the least. It was on the side of a major highway.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter and I laughed out loud reading your posts - and the back post about the vomiting museum trip. I am so glad my kids are (almost) over the vomiting stage. Or maybe as teenagers who will likely experiment with alcohol, they are just beginning the vomiting stage?!
ReplyDeleteI am so relieved that things were calm in the tummy department...whew.
ReplyDeleteCoyote? weird! You really should have a pocket full of pancakes ready for such events.
I can never remember which animal you look staight in the eye or which animal you look away from, which ones you look tall and which ones you look small. I guess I will just stay in front of the computer.
ReplyDeleteHey, if it was only 10 minutes away, why didnt you make the kiddos walk. Did you make them walk last week. you could have saved 1.00 this week instead of .80 cents. hehe
The best part of that trip? You got to stay home alone.
ReplyDeleteThat was too hilarious. You're supposed to pick up a big piece of tree bark and hold it on your head to look bigger, didn't you see the Gods Must Be Crazy? As for the car keys, keep them hidden. Trust me. Someday I might even elaborate, but tonight, I'm too tired. That's why I'm reading blogs instead of cleaning and getting to bed like a responsible adult.
ReplyDelete