Blog Business

I'm feeling bad for the poor unfortunate from Maryland who was googling "stomach flu large family" today and landed on my blog - apparently they went through all 33 pages, hoping to find some useful information. Not here, honey. All I've got are horror stories. And someone at a high-priced NYC law firm has been googling for a tornado costume. I find this puzzling. But that's okay - I'm sure they find me puzzling, too. And not at all helpful.

I don't know when I find time to analyze my sitemeter referrals so closely - probably when I'm neglecting the children and the laundry.

Like my tag cloud? Pretty, isn't it? I'm rather proud of myself. For those of you who asked, you need to log in to Technorati and look for the tag cloud widget. If I can figure it out, anyone can.

So, where's the funny? I don't know - I thought one of you took it. None of my children acted outrageous today. Or, if they did, I didn't notice. Anna was pleasant and helpful because she wanted to go to the mall with her friend this evening, Susie avoided mischief because she was a little under the weather and lay around all day looking cute and cuddly, the middle kids kept themselves busy with various sand art projects (and yes, there is colored sand everywhere now; but, frankly, I don't give a damn), and Theo was out working at B&N all day. He thought it was boring. Larry and I explained to him that that's why he has to go to college - so he can get a job that isn't boring. Or a job that is boring but pays way better than 8 dollars an hour. That advice represents the extent of our career counseling abilities.

Bunco tonight, and I lost. It's a stupid game anyway. And I spent 140 dollars (as in, way more than the 80 dollars I thought I was going to spend) having someone come to my house and explain the gas fireplaces to me. I think Larry's going to start taking the checkbook to work with him.

I called my father this morning and apologized profusely for forgetting to call him yesterday, on my parents' 51st anniversary. He was very upset with me - you know why? Because he forgot, too, and he was counting on me to remind him.

I avoided walking all last week, but now my neighbor is banging on my door again at 6:30 in the morning. Which is ridiculous, considering it is dark outside at that hour. I'm thinking of getting a restraining order. But until then, it's somewhat-early to bed and way-too-early to rise for this blogging mama - g'night all!

Oh, Hell - You Bet!

I managed to escape to our neighborhood Bunko game yesterday evening, despite Larry's sudden home improvement attack. (Or, perhaps, because of it - who knows?) We needed more players, so we recruited 2 husbands (not mine - he was home, wreaking yet more destruction upon our erstwhile habitable kitchen). We still didn't have enough people, so the 2 guys, rebelling against the feminine aura of Bunko, dragooned us into playing a card game called "Oh, Hell." Which would have been a lot of fun, if I hadn't lost. Badly. Never play someone else's game - not when there's money involved, anyway.

So, anyway, after the game and drinks and food, I invited people over to our house so they could witness just what "irreconcilable differences" look like. Larry was still hacking away with his crowbar and some weird sort of electric saw that he had just bought that day at Home Depot. He really needed it, he said, to do the job right. Hey, I really need a chef and a maid to do my job right, but is he spending money on that? I don't think so.

I'll give him credit - he stayed up half the night, and he worked in the kitchen this morning before he went to work. Apparently, he does have some sense of urgency about this project. Maybe he even detects that I am unhappy. But, of course, that theory doesn't explain why he would leave the refrigerator in the dining room for the foreseeable future, now does it?

It's that time - baths, dinner, books, bed, go!

Fall and Apples, Hallelujah!

The gentleman who bought our old house has finally given up on trying to use all the apples that the apple-tree-formerly-known-as-ours bears. He turned it over to us. I immediately sent out my crack team of apple-pickers (plus Susie, who I think thought she was helping in some capacity) to harvest what they could. Turns out that was a lot. I had to beg them to stop. We made apple crisp (and gave some to our generous neighbor, of course); I always enjoy making apple crisp, but this year was made even more enjoyable watching Anna sulk the entire time she was cutting up the apples. Now that we're used to her moods, they are almost entertaining. And it's cheaper than cable.

We woke up to sweatshirt weather today, finally. I am so happy to be breathing air that has less than 90 percent humidity. Now if I could just find the kids' sweatshirts, things would be perfect.

We're on our 7th jigsaw puzzle here, and I think we'll declare jigsaw-puzzle season officially over when we're done with this one. We've done so many, we're seeing the world as a collection of little pieces - through jigsaw-colored glasses, if you will. It's time to go outside and play in the leaves and drink cider and....and....do whatever else it is that we do in the fall. I've forgotten. Also, I need to reclaim my dining room table. My neighborhood Bunco club didn't enjoy rolling the dice on top of the half-done puzzle the other night.

Can any of you type with a toddler hanging off your forearms? I didn't think so. I'd better sign off.