Cars Trump Appliances, Apparently

That's Larry, over to the right - or a reasonable facsimile of him, anyway.  (Minus the hat)  You see, that's how you dress after bringing your car in to the local shop because you heard a strange noise from the rear brakes.  Who knew that replacing the entire brake assembly could cost the same amount of money as a new stove and a new dishwasher would have?  And how essential are those back brakes, anyway?  Shouldn't the front ones be enough?





 
Have I introduced you to our friendly neighborhood mechanic yet?  He's over there to the left.  Nice of him to let Larry keep his shoes...






[Barrel photo credit: Culture Vulture]

[Moneybags image credit: Upgrade Travel Better]

For Your Viewing Pleasure...

Why the British freak me out...

(Gah - can't get it to embed properly - you'll have to click on over - it's worth it)

Sick For The Holidays

We had a typically festive weekend for our family - after attending Christmas Eve Mass in all our holiday finery, we came home and watched Rachel throw up repeatedly.  Yes, folks, just as I was getting my appetite back, I got to witness a puke-fest.  That weight just keeps a-droppin'!  The only bright side is that I had just stepped out to deliver a loaf of cranberry bread to our next-door neighbor when the barf machine started up.  Larry had to handle it, thus assuring that he will fall prey to this stomach bug also.

David managed to break our router on Thursday, meaning we have had no wireless for 3 days.  I've tried to be brave for the children, but even the little ones know something is gravely amiss.  No phone, no IPod Touch, no second computer.  It's been hell.  Think Donner Party, but with less food....

And now the library is kicking me out.  I've become a vagabond, having to search for my next wireless fix in order to keep all my Words with Friends games going.  Whither next?  A Starbucks, perhaps?

Holiday Weight-Loss Tips

Worried about gaining weight over the holidays?  Follow Suburban Correspondent's handy guide for keeping those unwanted pounds away!

1. Cancel Chanukah party (with its attendant calorie-laden fried potato pancakes) due to best friend's parasite-ridden children.  Whew!  One hurdle jumped!

2. Approximately 10 days before Christmas, contract a cold with a wicked sore throat.  Add in 2 cold sores on the inside of your lower lip.  Voila!  You can't ingest anything without extreme pain!  This should get you through all those pre-holiday pageants and parties quite handily.  Careful!  Wine hurts too!

3. As the sore throat wanes, make sure to pick up a stomach bug from your 10-year-old son.  Perfect for keeping you from tasting any of the treats you still have to bake for everyone else!

4. Fail to recover from said stomach bug within 48 hours.  Lie in bed on the third day and decide you have some sort of intestinal cancer.  Wrap presents for your children (the last you'll ever give them) while weeping copiously.  Burns more calories than wrapping cheerfully!  Stop frequently to blow nose and lament your poor motherless children's bleak future to your confused husband.  That burns more calories, also (the nose-blowing and lamentations, that is, not the confused husband).  You are on your way to becoming one svelte sick chick.

5. Recall that laughter is the best medicine.  Forget your troubles (and your hunger) by reading about how Kenny Loggins ruined one innocent 7-year-old girl's Christmas.  ROTFL.  And, hey, all that rolling on the floor laughing burns extra calories, too...





[sneezing photo credit: Salon]
[photo credit: Hyperbole and a Half]

Snow Day Directions

Follow these steps:

1. Mittens, snowboots, hats;

2. Sleds and shovels and snowmen;

3. Cocoa with cookies.

Repeat until exhausted.  (The parent, that is - the kids just keep on going...)





[Snowman credit: Ahoy, Hanoi!]