Well, I certainly wasn't in a very good mood last night, was I? Chronic pain will do that to a person. And the threat of impending death. Things haven't improved much here today, healthwise - I just keep popping those little magic pills the doctor gave me, which might as well be placebos for all the good they are doing me.Someone came over to visit with her kids this afternoon, which provided me a little distraction from my medical woes; but, unaware of my tenuous grasp on my Weight Watchers' resolution, she brought a container of chocolate chip cookies to share. They were good cookies. Not quite as good as Trefoils, but beggars can't be choosers. Luckily, the cellulitis seems to be affecting my jaw, so it's been harder to chew; maybe that will all balance out for me, diet-wise.
Oh, dear - now my hypochondriacal brain is whispering the words "gangrene of the jaw" to me. Is that a disease? Should I Google it? Can I live with half a jaw? I don't know. One of you look it up for me, okay? And my left ear is still swollen up like a cauliflower. I was thinking about that last night when I couldn't sleep, and I remembered that I had once read about a medical case in Boston where the doctors couldn't get rid of the infection in some guy's earlobe no matter what, until some genius decided to use live maggots to clean the bacteria out of it. It being the middle of the night and all, I decided that that was no doubt going to happen to me; so then I started wondering if they would administer some sort of general anaesthetic for the procedure or if I was just going to have to kill myself.
Would you believe, Larry was sort of confused when woken up by my 3 AM panic attack? Even after I managed to explain to him my dire maggot-ridden situation?
Oh, look, I found a picture of maggot therapy; but, for some reason, I can't load it onto my blog . Consider yourselves lucky, okay? If you really want to see it, just go here.
Lovely, isn't it? Whatever happened to "First, do no harm"?
Ummm, thanks?
ReplyDeleteUgh!
ReplyDeleteum ok. thanks.
ReplyDeleteHaving had celulitis, in my ear no less, the same time that Andre was being dedicated as a baby (and my hair was super short, and my ear was SUPER huge and BRIGHT red, and I was in so much pain - I looked lovely in all of the pictures from that day - ANYWAY) I know what fun (not) it is.
I hope you feel better soon.
~Jennifer
Blech, no cooking dinner for me tonight.
ReplyDeleteeeeewwwww! That is sooooooo gross! I feel so bad for you. You had me laughing soooooo hard I almost had an accident. It was funny because I would be doing the exact same thing. My husband would wake up with the same confused expression. You would thing after all this time they would get it. Feel Better soon!
ReplyDeleteEwwww, excuse me while I go puke.
ReplyDeleteI didn't click on it. I just couldn't do it. I hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteI haven't laughed that hard at a blog post in a long time. thanks!!
ReplyDeleteEHHHHHHH!!! I just HAD to look at the picture. @@
ReplyDeleteFeel better. Really. And I'm not just saying that so you stop googling diseases and sharing pictures with us.
ok not to feed into your hypo thinking but did you hear about Demi Moore and she uses Leaches to suck her blood and purify it or something weird. something to think about.......NOT. hope you feel better soon, cuz that pic grossed me out. hehe
ReplyDeleteI couldn't bring myself to look at it. I think it might be one of those situations where the real thing is worse that what I can imagine it to be.
ReplyDeleteEven after reading all the ewwwwwwws, I still looked. Seriously? Ewwwwwww.
ReplyDeleteNo more Googling for you. I hope you feel better soon, and that they give you better drugs. Soon.
ewwww...maggot therapy?
ReplyDeleteI think I would stick with the pills! I hope you feel better soon!
I once saw an old photo of a Civil War soldier who had half his jaw blown off and he survived, so technically, I think you can live with half a jaw!
ReplyDeleteOkay, enough of the comforting imagery . . . hope you feel better soon.
And I'll take you word on the maggot photo...
That is gross - and before I had breakfast too. I hope things get better before maggots are seriously considered.
ReplyDeleteI've chosen not to look. You've seriously gotta get better soon. We can't stand much more of this torture. I'm sure you can't either.
ReplyDeleteNo thanks, I still have to eat lunch.
ReplyDeleteFeel better soon!
Feel better soon. No maggots. No leaches either.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing the things we come up with during Anxiety Hour. Sometimes it's stuff like your maggots. For me last night it led to some revolutionary ideas for hair bow making.
ReplyDeleteYou have cellulite on your jaw? :P
Sorry that you're suffering. Give a box of All Abouts a try.
ReplyDeleteOk, that wasn't as bad as I thought it might be - and I'm really squeemish....
ReplyDeletehowever, it might feel worse than it looks if you could feel them wriggling - blurgh!
Just so you can rest easy, you can live without half a jaw, my son was born that way. But, my husband also got an abcess in his tonsils that went into his jaw and ear and could have gone up into his brain and killed him if they hadn't hospitalized him and put him on IV antibiotics.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm.....
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's lock jaw. Google that.
Ice cream! Eat ice cream! You wont need to chew it, and from what I hear, it promotes healing.
(Okay, I didn't really hear that, but I believe it because I want to)
Seriously, I hope you get feeling better. Maybe you should ask the doctor for better drugs.
Yuck. but I am going to google celulitis....a girl's gotta know, ya know?
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, I didn't want to look but I HAD TO! Uuuuuuucccckkkkkk!
ReplyDeleteI did go look up cellulitis yesterday, too. It sure helped with my Weight Watchers program.
I hope you feel better soon! I'm kind of afraid to find out what cellulitis is now!
ReplyDeleteDon't take this the wrong way but I was thrilled not to be the only one worried about some dread disease, or in my case, surgery. I wish you lived nearby so you could bring me cookies since I can't walk for THREE BLOODY months.
ReplyDeleteBut the good news is I'm motoring thru that bottle of Xanax.