Monday, July 23, 2012

Cutting Edge

By my calculations, over the past 20 years I have bought approximately 16,573 pairs of scissors for the kids to use.  Guess how many of those pairs we can find right now in our home?

I'll give the mathematicians among you a hint: the answer is < 1.

That's right - our home is a veritable Bermuda Triangle for scissors (and mates for socks, but that's another story).  No matter what I do or where I look, there are never any children's scissors available when we need them.  Often, my scissors go missing also (because I haven't wised up enough yet to hide them from the kleptomaniacs I am raising).

So today I was in Target.  Shocking, I know.  And school supplies are on sale, because, hey, it's not even August but let's torture the children a bit, just for fun.  Anyway, I went a little crazy:

 Still life with flowers and doomed scissors

10 pairs.  (It only cost me 5 dollars.)  The question is, how long will they last?

Each one of these pairs of scissors will be marked with a number.  Each week, I will conduct an inventory.  How long will it take for all 6 pairs to disappear?  Feel free to place your bets in the comments.  I'll think of a prize for the winner, but you can be pretty sure it won't be a pair of scissors.  Because I won't be able to find any...

1. Too funny. I'll go with 19 weeks.

2. I don't have a problem with scissors, but my favorite pens and pencils always disappear.

3. Whiteboard markers do the same thing here. Personally, I'd rather it was the scissors... Good luck with your weekly inventory. I give it a month.

4. Oh man, I totally know what you mean. We also lose pencils. I discovered this morning that about 50 pencels went missing over the weekend! We found the pencil box...empty. How is that even possible? I think we found 15 so we had some to use for school but sometimes I think I'll totally freak if another pencil goes missing.

5. AnonymousJuly 23, 2012

same here...i say they will all be gone by.....10 weeks...we average a week a pair....now i put them in hiding after use..

pencils too! so over it.

liz

6. It's scissors for us too! Pencils and pens seem to be always available, but I think scissors just become invisible with time. You know you left them right THERE, but now you can't find them.

Tape dispensers have a habit of losing themselves too.

7. They will all be gone by next weekend.

Every time I go to IKEA I buy a bundle of scissors, (3 pair for \$2 or something like that) I'm pretty sure that over the last year I've bought at least 5 bundles (possibly more) I see them laying around all over the house until I need to use them, then they are gone.
The same thing goes for tape.

8. I guess ten weeks. That's the average around here.

I used to have Bandaid kleptos. Now that they are more mature they moved on to tape. I swear they have "tape-dar." Are you familiar with double-stick fashion tape (the kind that keeps the "girls" in place)? That WAS hidden in the deep recesses of my underwear drawer, but I am sure it is now used to keep a paper dress firmly adhered to a Pokemon figure.

1. I have just discovered the fashion tape, and it has changed my life! But I thought it was for keeping bra straps covered or keeping cleavage gaps closed. Am I using it wrong?

2. I know! That stuff is fabulous! And no, you are using it correctly. I just seal the top of some shirts closed, so bending over does not make the cup spilleth over.

9. now that's my kind of fun!

i can never find a sharpened pencil with an eraser.

1. Oh, honey, you are totally tilting at windmills there!

10. Um, I think your problem is way more serious than you think. What I mean by that is you bought 10 and you're wondering when you'll lose all six?? Did you lose 4 pair between taking the picture and writing the post?

Just wondering......

1. Oh, man, it certainly looks that way, doesn't it? But no, just a typo. As of this writing, there are still 10 pairs sitting on the kitchen hutch.

2. *laughs* I thought the same thing!!

Jeff Foxworthy says the most commonly spoken phrase in a redneck house is "jiggle the handle." But, around here it's "who had the scissors last?!?!?"

11. AnonymousJuly 23, 2012

Let's see, you bought 10 pairs and you're wondering how long it will take for "all 6 pairs" to vanish? It sounds like you lost 4 pairs on the way home so I'm guessing the last 2 pair will go soon . . .

12. I'm going to guess four weeks, which isn't long but I think everyone will be complacent: "There are plenty of scissors, I don't have to be careful of these!" And poof.

13. Things that are lost in my house right now: 140 pairs of scissors, 3000 unmated socks, 700 pencils and pens, 400 pacifiers, 1000 sewing needles, 4 phones, 8 universal remotes, 9 unmated shoes, 72 pairs of mittens, 3 soccer uniforms, 2 can openers, 40 unopened packs of batteries. It's a wonder the place doesn't collapse under it's own weight, or maybe we are a giant shopping mall for Borrowers.

14. Three and a half weeks.

15. A week and a half. (And hiding your own scissors doesn't help. My kids find those and lose them just as readily as any others.)

16. Nail clippers in this house!

17. Seeing as how we have the same problem at my house - let me do the math...
With 9 kids, we lose 18 scissors (2/child - although why I get the 3yr old scissors, I dont know), 6 boxes of crayons, 1 box of colored pencils, and 12 pencils per child in approx 10 days. You want to know about 10 scissors, with less amount of children, I say 24 days.
~Jennifer

18. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

Scissors have actually evolved...when we are not looking they walk away. My favorite part of your post was the still life title : )

19. Our scissors always disappear, too. And the tape. No one can ever find tape.
I'm giving those scissors 20 days tops.

20. When I was little, my mom had a pair of scissors that my siblings and I were not allowed to use; not because they were extra sharp, but because we would "loose" them if we touched them.

21. Are you sure we aren't living in the same house? Last year, a friend of mine cleaned out her craft cupboard and gave us 10 pairs of adult Fiskars scissors. Now, ask me how many I can find right now? Yup. None. So, I will give the scissors a week....

22. Sarah ReedJuly 24, 2012

I will be generous and say 3 months... so somewhere around October 24th they'll all be gone.

23. Well apparently four have already disappeared, if I'm doing the math correctly up there...

24. I can never find scissors either and I have several hiding places! I need to go stock up too!

25. Nail clippers, scissors, pencils with actual working erasers...
I have lost more of those items than socks for our family of six.
In our last move, we actually found ALL of the scissors when unpacking and settling into this house. And I'm pretty sure that ALL of those scissors are still accounted for. WEIRD. I'm not sure if we can blame it on downsizing or the aging of the kidlet population.
The aging husband, however, is beginning to misplace tools, keys, coffee cups, and brain cells.

26. I say six weeks. I have a pair of scissors stashed in the utensil drawer, and a pair stashed in my makeup drawer. Otherwise I can't find one. I just bought 4 pairs of kiddie scissors cause all of ours are gone. I only have one kid.

27. Look in teenage daughter's room ( I admit I've been gone a long time and can't remember the dynamics, but I'm pretty sure there's a teenage girl in there). Cups, bowls, towels, tape, scissors - ALWAYS found in the teenage daughter's room. That point aside, I say 8 weeks. 2 weeks for the kids to be on their best behavior and then....forgetabboutit.

28. I actually tie the scissors to the handle of the junk drawer and to the school cabinets. This works great -- until they figure out that they can cut the string with the (wait for it!) scissors. *sigh*