Friday, December 29, 2017

Are We Done With 2017 Yet?

Larry and I had a scintillating discussion this morning about the relative merits of various bathroom vanity heights. That's right, folks, there's still one more bathroom to be redone! We'd hoped to put it off for a while, but we're tired of watching water drip through the living room ceiling when the kids take showers. What can I say? We've gotten used to the finer things in life, like not sharing one shower among 6 people. I feel like Eva Gabor in Green Acres: "Dahling, you can't possibly expect me to share my soap dish!"

Actually, I don't think she ever said that. But if she were living here with 3 or 4 kids, she might.

I've recovered from Christmas, you'll be glad to hear. I've spent this week planning my New Year's resolutions - so far I have two: watch more TV and spend more time knitting.

I have a feeling I'm gonna knock this out of the park, so to speak.

I've also been trying to plan the annual New Year's Day party. I dragged Larry out to Costco AND Aldi's last night - you know, Costco is wonderfully empty on Thursday evenings. At least, it's wonderfully empty on Thursday evenings when it is only 20 degrees out. We managed to pick up everything we'd need for the party, except of course for the 5 or 6 items I'll realize we are missing about, oh, 3 hours before the festivities begin.

So long as Larry doesn't start buying those vomit cheese balls again, we should be fine. FINE.

Today I went to a friend's house, who showed me the finer details of making a wreath out of large ribbons. I had seen her creations on Facebook and begged for her help, because - deep down - I've always had a hankering to be a decorative wreath sort of person.

We all have our dreams.

Let me just say here, though, it's way harder than it looks. And it takes WAY MORE ribbon than you'd think. The upshot being, I have a wreath that is about 2/3 finished. Anyone want to take bets on whether it will be finished before next Christmas?

In other news, it's been cold here. Oh, look, I took a picture!

16 degrees! And that's not even Celsius...

No snow, though. Susie is very angry with the weather gods. "What's the point of cold without snow?" she asks. I'm okay with it, because at least all the mosquitoes are dead. Or dormant. Whatever. Wintertime for me is the season I can relax in my anti-bug vigilance for a bit, as the sugar ants and even the centipedes disappear for a while.

My goal this week was to finish knitting all my UFO's (unfinished objects), but that turned out to be a little too ambitious. I did finish a gorgeous Crazy Cowl that's been languishing here for a while (no picture because it's someone's gift, sshhhh), and David's hat, and a cute buttoned tea towel that now hangs on the kitchen drawer handle and not on the floor, which is where all my dish towels of the non-buttoned variety end up.

See? It defies gravity.

So, in general, this week feels like a win. I'll take it.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Feliz Chanukah!

 I won't lie - by this time last night, I was seriously considering never hosting ANYTHING ever again. Not that we did anything extraordinary yesterday for Christmas - just had another family over for Christmas dinner in the late afternoon, a family I was thrilled to celebrate the holiday with. And I did let everyone in my family laze around for a few hours in the morning, because hey, I'm not a monster.

See? We opened presents and everything.

But after that? I spent pretty much the rest of the day ordering people around. It's not that the kids weren't helpful (hey, I didn't even TOUCH a potato, and there were 10 pounds of them to wash, and cut, and cook, and mash); but bossing people around is still work, that's for sure. Throw in the fact that I had to cook a few extra items I forgot to prepare ahead of time (hello, roasted brussel sprouts!), and it sort of pushed me over the edge.

I just don't know if I'm doing our annual New Year's Day party, is what I'm saying. I'm tired. On the other hand, the house is already pretty clean, so it would be silly not to.

I didn't even take any pictures of people yesterday. NONE. Way to go, Mom!

Speaking of photos, Brian won the prize this Christmas for the most awesome gift ever. He went through ALL the photos on my computer, dating back to 2009, deleted the duplicates and bad ones, and then uploaded them to my Google account. 12,000 PHOTOS, PEOPLE. He's my hero.

Larry, on the other hand, gift wrapped this and proudly gave it to me:

Yes, Virginia, that IS a shovel

Long-time readers might just be reminded of the windshield scraper Christmas. I certainly was. Larry redeemed himself, however, by also handing me a gift card to a local yarn store. This was particularly noble of him, considering that he has been literally tripping over bags and baskets of yarn in our bedroom lately. He also bought me some yummy chocolate:

I'm pretty sure Susie had a hand in selecting these

In return, the kids and I bought Larry a new TV. The boys sneaked out and bought it (with cash, so Larry wouldn't see it on the credit card) while Larry and I were at our annual Christmas cocktail party. Then Brian played sick when we went to Mass on Sunday, so he could stay behind and set it up and put a big bow on it. Oh, we're so clever!  We all giggled madly as we trooped downstairs to watch the Grinch that night, and were sitting expectantly on the couch as Larry walked in the room.

He didn't notice. He was busy trying to figure out where he was going to sit and had his back to the TV and we finally all had to shout, "Turn around!" Then, the entire time we watched the Grinch, we were exclaiming about how much better the color was on the new TV.

What I'm trying to say here is, we're a pretty simple family. And by simple, I mean boring.

I may not have any people pictures, but I have these:

Not-dead-yet flowers

FESTIVE, yet functional

I ate these darn things ALL DAY yesterday
(and, uh, today)

The week between Christmas and New Year's is the time to
complete unfinished knitting projects. I'm on it.

It wasn't until this morning, as I was sitting in my kitchen and reveling in the thought that I wouldn't have to cook AT ALL today, that I noticed I had overlooked something during the previous day's party preparation. Below is what greeted my guests as they walked into my home for our Christmas celebration:

If they were confused, they sure didn't show it.

Hostess of the year, that's me.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Aiming Low

I just bought 5 pounds of 12-Flavor Albanese gummy bears from Amazon. Prime delivery. Christmas is weird. LIFE is weird. I mean, what sort of questionable life choices lead to bulk buying gummy bears?

Seriously, though? These are THE BEST.

In other news, tonight I finished knitting a pair of socks and they are awesome. I still have to get to the knitting store to buy some yarn to make hats for the people I actually live with, but at least now I don't have to waste time driving all over town to find those gummy bears for the Christmas stockings.

Took me forever to get this shot - you're welcome

Really, Christmas might go okay this year. I guess I should buy a turkey or something, though. Man does not live by wool and gummi bears alone.

Larry took 3 of the kids skiing today, as a Christmas treat. He would have taken all 4, but Rachel declared she had no interest in the sport anymore. "What fun is it if you're worried about dying the entire time?" she asked pragmatically.

Hard to argue with that.

So she babysat a neighbor's child and I went to a friend's house where we were having a knitting/spinning extravaganza, as one does. I brought cookies, because December.

Pecan shortbread - and yeah, I'm pretty impressed with the photo, also

David and Susie made these, so I can't take any credit. I might just eat nothing else for the next 4 days, they're so good. Butter and sugar being the primary ingredients here, I don't think I have to worry about not being able to pack on those holiday pounds.

Achievable goals, people - that's what it's all about.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Christmas Macabre

Yesterday, after Larry took the package full of holiday treats and handknit items for the relatives up north and mailed it on his way to work, I sat in my house and congratulated myself on my unwonted holiday-gifts efficiency. And then?

I found the hat.

You know, the missing hat that I decided didn't exist and we didn't need because I was too tired to sit up all night and knit another one. Instead, I threw a hat in the box that Susie actually wanted and promised myself I'd find more of that yarn and knit another one for her before Christmas. Because I'm delusional that way.

So I was sitting there, with a hat Susie definitely didn't want, feeling way less efficient than earlier. I ended up mailing it today, and later I'm going to the yarn store and finding that darn yarn. So that's only 2 extra errands and one extra knitting project, all due to the fact that I can't see something sitting RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME where the rest of the hats were.

Not really feeling the merry today, I guess....and it doesn't help that my wrapping paper seems possessed. You see, like the rest of America, we're trying to get ready for holidays here, so I was wrapping presents last night. But I ran into a small problem:

Decapitated snowmen - festive!

The back side's no better - what were the odds?

Yeah, I'm thinking this would be good for a Christmas version of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," maybe. Or a new version of "A Christmas Carol," with headless snowmen instead of ghosts.

But definitely not good for that festive look under the Christmas tree, that's for sure...

Sunday, December 17, 2017

A Mafioso Christmas

Turns out that hat knitting really takes away from blogging time. No matter, I've got - wait, only 4 hats done? What? No, I knit 6 hats, but one is for David and Susie took a liking to another one, so actually I guess I'm sitting up all night tonight and knitting a 5th hat.

Dang. I swear, I thought I had more than that.

Oh, well, who's counting, anyway, right? At least, we got the tree up yesterday and the lights put on.

Tree skirt by Auntie Kate, of the mad quilting skills

See that Santa thing to the left? One of my older kids painted that years ago - you pull on the string hanging down between his legs (I know, WEIRD) and his arms and legs fly up. It's really stupid and I will never get rid of it, because it reminds me of simpler times, when all my kids did for fun was paint silly wooden things from Michaels and no one had cellphones and streaming didn't exist.

It's a gosh darn ARTIFACT, people, that's what it is.

Anyway, my family was supposed to decorate the tree today, but no one did and I'm too busy trying to produce woolly Christmas presents to worry about it. So the only 2 ornaments on the tree are the two I put on there:

Beautifully hand painted by one of my amazingly talented friends,
but you can't tell because I am a lousy photographer

Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as a yarn ornament

I'm good with that. Slap a star on the top and I say we're done. I would talk at you more, but I have to make pompoms. I decided to put them on half the hats, so people have a choice. Rachel is actually the pompom savant around here, so I'm hoping to...uh...persuade her to help me out here. "Those are some nice-looking Christmas presents you got there under the tree. I'd hate to see anything happen to them" sort of persuasion, I mean...

Saturday, December 09, 2017

Green Christmas

As promised, I whipped up a wee baby hat since yesterday, because I didn't have enough other projects happening right now. It is extremely cute and way faster to make than the adult-sized ones I've been working on for 2 weeks, that's for sure.

See? Sometimes I finish something.

I've been halfheartedly Christmas shopping here and there. All year I think of cute/useful/fun gift ideas I could get the kids for Christmas, and then December arrives and I can't remember any of them. So David has 2 T-shirts with jokes on them, Rachel has a fancy water bottle, and Susie has a pretty loose-leaf binder. THAT'S IT. I know I probably should have picked things up all along, but I guess I was too busy buying yarn instead.

Even my own wishlist is fairly empty - the only thing on it is wool dryer balls, and Larry will be too scared to purchase those because they are laundry-related. Hoist by my own petard, I am.

But there's more to Christmas than presents, right? There's also decorating the house and making it look festive. Maybe I could start by getting rid of the Thanksgiving flowers:

Just noticed these sitting in our den today

Or I could leave them there and have a sort of Addams Family theme for our holidays. That's always a possibility.

There's also the Christmas baking to be done, but I'm waiting on that until week after next. David will be home then, and we can generally prevail on him to make us pecan sandies and other delectable holiday goodies. I mostly specialize in cranberry bread, myself.

In the meantime, we're actually expecting snow here tomorrow, but I'll believe that when I see it. It's gotten so that we don't even bother to hope for snow anymore until January -- not anything that sticks, anyway. "Wake me up if you see snowflakes," Susie ordered me, before she went to bed. "I don't want to miss it."

My poor child, growing up with no real know, as a child, I used to feel such pity when I saw those newspaper photos of kids from the South, out trying to make snowmen in a rare inch or so of snow. Now? We're living it. 2 inches? Time to sled! 3 inches? Snow forts!

Forget those displaced polar bears and rising sea levels - THIS will be the true calamity of global warming: a lost generation of children who don't know what real snow is. My grandchildren will watch "Frosty" and say, "Tell us about snowmen, Grandma - did they really talk?"

On the other hand, I don't really miss the shoveling, so I guess even climate change has its silver linings.

Wow, I went from knitted baby hats to climate change in one blog post - you folks certainly get your money's worth, I'll say that. Time to wrap this up before I cover even more scintillating and timely topics - also, it's past midnight and I have to get up early for yoga.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to stay up and knit some more hats. My yarn is calling me.

Thursday, December 07, 2017

Soup To Nuts

I had a brilliant opening sentence, but it's gone now, lost to posterity.

The good news is, one of my neighbors had a baby this morning and she had him AT HOME. I mention this because, 20 and 17 years ago, I also birthed babies here at home, a practice which I'm pretty sure was looked at askance by the neighbors but everyone was polite and didn't say anything. 2 decades is a long time to wait, people, but FINALLY someone else has had a baby right here at home in our neighborhood and I'm no longer the only weird one.

Thank you, lovely neighbor. I shall knit your wee one a tiny winter hat, in gratitude.

Yesterday I drove a woman home from cataract surgery and it turns out her father is 102 years old. He actually ran a CCC program in New York State in the 1930s, which means he's living history (just like that former British WAAF I ran into, earlier this year, when I was waiting for one of my clients at the dentist). Sometimes my job is sort of cool, you know?

Looks a lot more appetizing warmed up, honest
Also yesterday, I threw caution to the winds and tried out a new soup recipe, Slow Cooker Chicken Enchilada Soup. You see, I recently had a vision of developing a whole repertoire of soup recipes so I could whip up one or two a week, and the whole family would gather round the soup pot during the cold winter evenings and eat out of our bowls of warm steaming soup, as we chatted and reveled in the camaraderie of the family hearth. There was homemade bread involved in this vision, too, if I remember correctly. Large hunks of bread, torn off a communal loaf and dunked into our warm steaming soup...

Unfortunately, Brian was working and the two girls are steadfast in their vegetarian ideals, and I was going out to Knit Night, so Larry was the only one eating from the family soup pot yesterday evening, after he picked up Susie from CCD and before he had to rush out and take Rachel to dance class. So I guess we have to work on the camaraderie part of that plan.

And I do admit, that was a heck of a lot to expect from a crock pot full of soup, anyway. I KNOW. But hope never dies, people. Hope never dies.

In other news, I finished another hat. (Remember? It's a hat Christmas.) I can't decide whether or not it needs a pompom, though. I also can't decide whether pom pom is one word or two or maybe hyphenated? Feel free to weigh in on either issue, thanks. Here's the hat:

Pom Pom? Yay or Nay?

Okay, back to the yarn pile for me. It's December, and there is no rest for the knitters. NONE.

Tuesday, December 05, 2017

Space Age Gifts

I don't know where I've been. I'm not going to even try to catch up, whatever that means. Just rest assured there's been a lot of knitting happening, with some cooking thrown in, and also tons of driving. Because that's pretty much all my life is about right now.

Look! Festive! Breakfast, anyone?

I made those blueberry muffins at 10:30 this evening (can I still call that evening?). I was just going to get the ingredients together and then get up at 6 AM to throw them in the oven tomorrow morning bright and early, but then I came to my senses. Now I can sleep in all the way to 7. For some reason I scheduled a well child physical for Susie at 8 AM tomorrow. I guess I thought it would be smart to get the first appointment and not have to wait?

Anyway, now I hate myself for that. But at least I'll be able to stop feeling guilty about having forgotten to do this earlier this year. I swear, every year, there is one kid who gets neglected, medical appointment-wise. 2017 was Susie's turn, apparently.

In other inconsequential news, I found a stinkbug crawling around the floor of the den tonight. I got Brian to remove him and flush him to his watery doom, because I am still so traumatized by the Great Stinkbug Invasion of 2010, I can't go near the things. My Son Formerly Known As Helpful seemed put out by my bug-catching request, because apparently he thinks those blueberry muffins just BAKE THEMSELVES.

I'm not too burned out on parenting to go all Little Red Hen on these offspring of mine, is what I'm sayin'.

And, hey, it's December. How about a gift idea?

NASA-themed, of course

Shot glasses make handy toothpick holders! Buy an attractive shot glass for your friend who likes to bake. Or drink. Or both. No judging here. This particular shot glass was bought by David, who got to be an intern at NASA last summer. He also got Rachel a NASA T-shirt that says, "I need my space."

Rachel's 15. That shirt is PERFECT.

Okay! Great to talk at you, but it's time for bed. Be good, for goodness sake!

Friday, December 01, 2017

This Month, Think Of The Knitters

In case anyone doubts the veracity of my statement that the living areas of my house are covered in yarn, I present the following photos for your viewing pleasure:

Neglected, but not forgotten

Behold a pair of socks, sitting on a sort of hutch type table that we got free from a neighbor and has been sitting in our front hallway ever since the basement renovations commenced, waiting to be delivered to another neighbor. I'm working on the legs now, which means it will take me forever, because once I finish the foot and the heel, I think, "Wow! I'm almost done!" and then go on to more exciting things, while my unfinished pair of socks languishes (like this poor homeless table) unwept, unhonored, and unsung.

Bird's eye view, inside the cutest knit shop bag ever

And there is a Clara Cowl, sitting on the dining room table, which I finished in record time (for me), only I lost some stitches when I removed the provisional cast-on and I had to beg a knitting friend to find them for me. Which she did, which means I really should graft this item shut and put it in the gift box. Unfortunately, I was distracted by the following:

Alas, I am terrible at photography, so you can't see this yarn's
cunning dark brown highlights that delight me as I knit round and round

Above is Hat #3, almost done, resting comfortably on our Ektorp ottoman. I picked up a bunch of worsted at 30% off on Black Friday and decided that it would be a hat Christmas this year. I'm not even sure anyone wears hats anymore, but why let reality get in the way of my knitting aspirations, hmmm? Besides, most of our relatives live in Maine, so I can't see if they are wearing them or not. What I don't know won't hurt me.

Again, colors regrettably washed out - that is really a delightfully bright purple and blue green

This is also a hat, you just can't tell yet. It's sitting atop its inspiration, a Sockhead Hat that I got during our knitting group's Christmas swap last year. I like it so much, I'm making one just like it. I mean, there's no point in not having it in ALL THE COLORS. This project may have to wait, as knitting in fingering yarn during the December gift-making rush is only for the extremely skilled. We mere mortals stick with the heavier worsted and bulky yarns, in order to increase production speed.

I am inordinately proud of this photo, which captures
both the chaos and the beauty intrinsic to knitting in December.
Also, it features our "other people" IKEA throw pillows...

And, anyone? Can you guess? That is an incipient felted tote bag. It is silly of me to be working on it this month, as I am keeping it for myself and not giving it away, but I wouldn't be a knitter if I didn't harbor the quixotic belief that I have the time to both make presents AND work on something for myself.

There's more, people. So much more. You're seeing only the proverbial tip of the iceberg here. And why am I showing you this? Well, it's part of an outreach effort of mine.

Do you know a knitter? This may help you understand why he/she might be looking/sounding a little distracted this month of holiday cheer. Between keeping track of the projects and spending inordinate amounts of time searching for lost darning needles and stitch markers, it's hard for us to maintain focus. Be patient. Be supportive. And, for the love of God, DO NOT move our stuff.

Larry? Are you listening?