I woke up this morning to a very clean house (well, the main floor, anyway) and lots of leftovers in the fridge, thanks to our annual New Year's Day party yesterday. Let's just not talk about what it looked and sounded like around here yesterday morning, prior
to the party. Picture a combination of 4 beleaguered children, one beleaguered spouse, and one formerly-known-as-pleasant mother morphed into the most frightening Marine boot camp drill instructor you've ever seen, and you've got the general picture. I'm not even sure Larry is talking to me anymore. It didn't help that I forgot my cardinal rule to never, EVER send him to the grocery store for a particular item, as he always takes hours and then returns with the wrong thing, plus something extra that he suddenly decided I needed. ALWAYS.
So yesterday he embarked on a search for Gouda chipotle cheese and returned a LONG time later with this weird ball of cheddar cheese colored pink with port wine and covered with slivered almonds. "WHAT is THAT?" I said, pausing long enough in my 4-hour-long mad pre-party dash to examine his find.
|Puke-y looking, right?|
My hapless spouse, aided by the experience of 22 years of marriage, intuited that my tone of voice did not indicate happiness. "Um, the wrong thing, I guess?" And then, rallying to defend himself, he said, "It looks
"It LOOKS like a ball of saran-wrapped VOMIT."
Silence, as both of us stood there sort of stunned by the vehemence of my reaction. "So," Larry finally managed to say, "you don't like it?"
We did try it, folks - and even Larry had to admit it tasted awful. But that wasn't the end. "Why did you buy Carr's water crackers?" I asked. "We have plenty
Look, people, I was BUSY. There was no time to mince words.
|WRONG. Just WRONG.|
As Larry was trying to explain away this latest frivolous purchase, Susie - who had, earlier that morning, accompanied me to Target to help select crackers she liked - walked into the kitchen, saw the boxes of Carr's on the table, and said, "WHO bought THESE? These taste AWFUL" and walked out. Whereupon Larry lifted his hands in surrender and most likely vowed to himself to never, EVER go to the grocery store on an errand again.
At least that's something we can agree on, right?