Wednesday, September 09, 2020

The Ties That Bind

 Today? I cleaned out the miscellaneous drawer in the kitchen. It had been bugging me for months, what with it jamming on the doohickey that spreads out crepes and the oversize pizza cutter my kids insisted on buying, so I tackled it. I did a darn good job, if I do say so myself:

I will absolutely need ALL of those rubber bands some day

But while I was cleaning it out, I found a zillion (more or less) twisty ties and plastic thing-a-ma-bobs that are used to close bread bags. I was throwing them away as I scooped them out, but it suddenly occurred to me to wonder where they came from. I mean, I have never made a point of saving one of these things myself. As you can see in the picture, we have those handy-dandy bag clips from IKEA that we use for everything that needs sealing. Yet, those twisty ties had been sitting in my drawer, unnoticed by me, because I (like everyone else my age, most likely) grew up in a house that had a drawer holding twisty ties. 

Maybe, in the back of my mind, I believed they were a naturally occurring phenomenon in kitchen drawers?

Later, all 4 of the at-home "kids" happened to be in the kitchen at once, eating breakfast or lunch or something in between, because really, who knows anymore what meal they are eating, as time has no meaning in this age of corona. I seized the moment to get to the bottom of this mystery: "Hey," I asked. "Which one of you is saving these twisty ties from the bread bags?"

They all denied having done any such thing, which means - stay with me here - Larry is the culprit. What's more, if he is the one doing it, that means he has been saving them for the past 30 years of our lives together and I NEVER NOTICED.

What's up with that?

"Why do you think Dad's saving them?" I asked the not-kids-anymore human beings at my table. To which question they responded - literally - as one: "Because that's what old people DO." that's another theory: Larry hasn't been saving these things for 30 years, it's just a habit that naturally developed once he hit age 50 or so. It's like your knees starting to get stiff or suddenly having eyebrows that attempt to grow all over your face. Suddenly, you find yourself tossing bread ties in the junk drawer like the self-respecting almost-senior citizen that you are.

This idea is disturbing. Also, just as FYI for my kids, we're not THAT old. Not saving-bread-ties old. I'm not, anyway. 

The rubber bands don't count, dammit.


  1. "Miscellaneous" drawer sound so much nicer than what I call mine---"junk drawer." And mine is a mess, even though I did try to sort everything by length. It worked, for a day or two, until my husband put things away. Yours looks very nice and organized.

    1. That photo was taken mere minutes after I finished cleaning it out! It certainly doesn't stay that way.

  2. Funny, I do keep some but not all of the twist ties. They do come in handy sometimes. I suspect I'm way older than you and Larry. :)

  3. We keep twist ties. I'm trying to remember if my mom did but I can't recall. I cleaned out my miscellaneous drawer (much better terminology than junk drawer) recently and discovered a random pair of scissors that I'd never seen before. The Husband claims he didn't introduce them into this house and had never seen them before either. Great. Now I have ghosts or something contributing to the clutter that is that drawer.

  4. We've always called ours the "no nothing" drawer. I have no idea why!

  5. As I approach 50 in a few months I resent the implication that it is only a matter of time before I collect twist ties. Kidding. So long as I don't start to plot out my every move based on what local traffic might be doing. In that case, just shoot me.

    I remember growing up with sandwich baggies that had a fold-over flap. There were no ziploc bags yet. Then my mom would buy the larger bags for things larger than sandwiches and those came with . . . wait for it . . . little twisty ties because there was no other way to close those bags. Maybe people collect those out of fear that ziploc bags will go out of style and the other bags will make a come back.

  6. On instagram check out: @the_breadtag_project

  7. Are you referring to the hard plastic squares with a circle in the center and a "slice" cut through the plastic on one end? My daughter-in-law saves those! But she doesn't use a drawer -- she hooks them over the edge of the white-coated dish drying rack (the kind we had when we were kids and some of us still have now) and lines them up like a colorful celebration. Apparently her mother does the same thing.

  8. I see 4 screwdrivers - at least one of which appears to be one that I have that has 4 Phillips and flat head bits. De-accession the other 3 to a basement or garage toolbox.