Wanna Age Faster? I Know How!

 OMG, so it snowed here last week, 5 inches, no problem really, we shoveled that, and then it started sleeting. Who cares, right, it's just sleet? Well, it turns out that when the temps are way below freezing, sleet actually accumulates like snow

 Who the heck knew that? Not me, for sure 

Gratuitous photo of my completed January socks

But sleet is three times heavier than snow (another fun new fact for moi), so our 3-4 inches of sleet was the equivalent of shoveling 9-12 extra inches of snow, and there was one point on the second day when I thought, OMG, Larry and I are going to die out here, because not only do we shovel our front steps and our walk and the sidewalk fronting our townhouse, we have to shovel ALL THE WAY to where our cars are parked (3 times, we did this, THREE), and THEN we dig out our cars and THEN we shovel all the parts of the parking lot that the plow company claims the plow can't do. 

Did I mention there was a lot of chopping involved because that top layer of sleet was just solid ice by Monday? By the end we were using garden spades to hack away at the ice, and the kids were building snow forts out of all the blocks of ice we were tossing to the side, and OMG my shoulder hurts and my wrist hurts and maybe we need to move.

Great snow fort material, though

Larry and I each spent at least 3 hours both days shoveling, and then we would come in and eat cookies and potato chips and dip and let me tell you, those were just the right things to stock up on before a snowstorm. I never did get around to the cinnamon rolls, because I was too tired to knead dough on top of all the shoveling, so those will just have to wait until next time.

Silver lining: all this ice made for some magnificently dangerous sledding on the golf course behind our house -- Larry went down the hill with Olivia on our plastic toboggan and they looked just like one of those cartoons of Calvin and Hobbes on a sled, just flying away, so hey, I guess it was all worth it.

Snowman by a budding Picasso, apparently

It has stayed cold (not complaining there, no mosquitoes are biting me when I walk outside), so the ice and snow still haven't melted, and maybe all the cold weather in the country has encouraged people to knit a red hat, because OMG we've raised more than $250K on this one $5 pattern alone. 

I'm proud of my fellow knitters, is what I'm saying. I didn't own any red yarn myself, despite having an entire bedroom filled with yarn, so I had to make a trip to the yarn store Saturday for one skein of red yarn, which was less than $10, but somehow I managed to spend my entire $100 Christmas gift card from Larry while I was there. Yarn stores are weird that way.

Unexpectedly expensive $8 yarn, but hey

Theo and his wife (blog name? Not yet? Okay, Cathy), who generally work remotely, were missing their childcare this week, so they came to my house for three of the days to work while I played with Olivia. I knew I had to be ready, so I pulled out the old toys I saved, prepped some activities and games (turns out I still remember how to make homemade playdough!), and lined up all the fun books. I was prepared, I'm telling you.

[Shoutout to this lady on Instagram, she's a genius, by the way, for amusing young kids with cheap, easy-to-set-up activities]

Color-sorting fun for the win - she loved this

I mean, I thought I was prepared. But this past week has made me realize I've never hung out with "just" a two-year-old. By the time Theo was two, there was also Baby Anna and life was all about survival; after that, well, there were older kids running around to keep the little one amused while I did stuff. I have never, ever had to full-time amuse a two-year-old. Let me tell you, it is nonstop and tiring, OMG.

So, even with all the fun activities, I had to call in the cavalry (Rachel, the cavalry was Rachel) in the afternoons to take over while I held her baby Sissy. The cousins did somewhat interact, but mostly to pounce on the same toy at once and fight over the same square foot of floor space, which brought back lots of memories of my days/years spent raising kids, but really? I am finding it increasingly hard to believe that I was ever a mom. HOW DID I DO ALL THAT?

The one toy to rule them all, if your baby cousin is playing with it

Old, that's how grandchildren make you feel, very very old. Also? Shoveling ice, that makes you feel old, too. In one week, I've managed to age about a decade, so I guess watch this space for more tips on how to feel prematurely decrepit, I'm an expert now.

Fashion Tips, Quakers, Mutual Aid - All Right Here

Hey, have I mentioned my two extremely cute granddaughters? Olivia (2) and Sissy (almost 1!) are running around and playing with the few old toys I held on to from their parents and aunts and uncles, and I'll have you know that once the baby of the family, ALWAYS the baby of the family, because my Susie came home from college for Christmas break, saw Sissy holding the little pink bear we've had for ages, and immediately said, "Hey, that's MINE!"

Almost as cute as the grandbaby who was holding it

Just FYI, it is way easier to read Goodnight, Moon 6 times in a row when you aren't chronically sleep deprived, who knew? Kudos to other grandparents who watch their grandchildren full time, though - I can make it about 2 hours and I'm dying, I seem to have lost my childrearing stamina.

Or maybe I just used it up? 6 kids will do that to you

I still enjoy working at Trader Joe's, even though it is killing me because it turns out I am old and not quite as fit as I thought I was. It's the local store, which means I see a lot of people that I haven't run into since the kids grew up, and it's always fun to say hi and catch up (or, in some cases, to scan frantically through my fading memory banks searching for someone's name). We change tasks in the store every hour, which keeps it all from becoming mind-numbingly boring, and we're encouraged to talk to people, which is interesting unless too many weirdos show up in a row, in which case I contemplate quitting, because OMG there are so many of them out there, WHY

Also, I can't quit, because the money lets me buy fun clogs, after all these years of being sensible:

I LOVE THEM

See those flare jeans? I'd been wanting this style for a while, because all the cool kids at work had them, while I was still wearing my fussy early 2020s jeggings. Unfortunately, it's really hard to find this type of pant if you're short -- you can't cuff them, and if you hem them you lose the flare. So in June I steeled myself to stare straight at the prospect of going to 10 different stores and trying on all the jeans and maybe ordering more jeans online and having to return all of them - I looked that monster straight in the face and said YES, NOW IS THE TIME, LET'S GO SHOPPING

But then I had a brainstorm while perusing sale items online and spotting photos of - what's this? FLARE CAPRIS? You know, those pants that come down to the top of a normal person's calf? Hmmmm, why not try it?

Reader, I'm calling it the Miracle of the Flare Jeans, and I didn't even pray to any saints first. Those silly capris fit perfectly on my midget legs, and did I mention they were on sale?

I'm a fashion icon now, look at me - only don't, because Larry still doesn't allow personal photos here

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Anna (aka treasured eldest daughter) got married in November! 

(Really, I should have led with this, but here we are) 

Not only that, but her spouse happens to be a standup comic, which...I don't know...you know how the stereotype is that Jewish mothers are excited if their daughters marry doctors? That's how I feel about Anna's wife, it's just so cool. 

Anna and her spouse (who needs a blog name, I dunno, um, Sally) learned that the fastest and cheapest way to get married in their city is to have a Quaker wedding, because no officiant is needed. Time was of the essence, you see, since Sally had a day job with actual health insurance and Anna's ACA premiums were about to go up dramatically, and I KNOW, IT'S SO ROMANTIC *swoon* 

So all they had to do was pay $100 and the courthouse handed them the Quaker wedding document (which, unlike a Jewish ketubah, is NOT written in Hebrew, but I guess it still counts) and they just had to go have whatever sort of ceremony they wanted, with two witnesses to sign the not-ketubah, and ta-da, they'd be married.

I really have only the utmost respect for anyone who makes getting married NOT complicated and expensive, thank you, Quakers!

They refused to dress like this for the wedding, party poopers

Anna and Sally invited us and the other parents and a sibling or two and some friends to witness their Jewish Catholic lesbian Quaker wedding at an Italian restaurant near them in Philly. I felt right at home with the in-laws, because they were Italian and I grew up Italian-adjacent in northern NJ, and OMG they just kept ordering more food and passing it around the table, and Sally's mom at one point was trying to find out if Susie would be interested in dating Sally's younger brother.

I was eating dinner with a bunch of people straight out of Central Casting, and I was thrilled.

Trying to make conversation, I said to her mother, "The girls pulled this off really fast!" and she said to me, "I know! When Sally called me about the date, I said, 'Honey, why the rush? Did you get her pregnant?!?"

In case anyone was wondering where Sally gets her sense of humor from...

Anyway, the day after Anna got on the health insurance, Sally got laid off, so they split up 

KIDDING

No, so now they are both without insurance, because the ACA rates are simply insane and Anna's job doesn't offer it and we can't have universal health insurance like a normal civilized country, but I guess they can just live on love, that's fine, everything is fine.

We had everyone here (including 3 - count them, THREE - kids-in-law) for Thanksgiving, and it was lovely, thank you very much. Sally tried to get away with saying she was useless in the kitchen, but we made her rice 10 pounds of potatoes anyway, which was a fitting welcome to our family holidays, I'm thinking. 

Christmas was a much smaller affair, just the three youngest grown kids and one kid-in-law and little Sissy, and I pretty much worked my butt off without Anna here (she was at her in-laws), but at least I didn't get deathly sick on Christmas Eve like last year, so I call that a win. 

Brian gave me a jigsaw puzzle of a New Yorker cover for Christmas, even though I haven't done a puzzle in years, so I decided to get back into it and, people, now I know WHY I haven't done a puzzle in years, I get OBSESSED.

This was MADDENING

I was late starting my January socks because I couldn't tear myself away from that stupid puzzle, but here they are, finally started (I know, you were worried):

Nice bright colors for winter, I need that

We have snow coming and  it will be utter chaos with everyone buying milk and eggs and bread, because that is how we celebrate our rare snowfalls in this neck of the woods. We will probably end up with maybe 6 inches of snow and be left staring at ridiculous amounts of leftover cinnamon roll and French toast ingredients in our kitchens, but we will not learn, we will simply do it all over again the next time. It's sort of an endearing habit, IMO, because people are silly and I love that about them.

I also love people who are brave and care about their neighbors and the rule of law, so kudos to Minneapolis, for showing the rest of us how it should be done! If anyone cares to help these people help their neighbors, this article has a list of mutual aid funds that you can contribute to. Do it! You'll sleep better. 

Any knitters here? You can buy this pattern off Ravelry, the proceeds all go to mutual aid in the Twin Cities. You'll feel good about helping, AND you'll have a hat, can't beat that!

Until next time, stay safe, stay warm, and stay away from jigsaw puzzles, they'll throw off your knitting mojo like you wouldn't believe...