Barricading myself in the bathroom this afternoon in order to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in peace (while my 3-year-old whined and cried outside the door) was not, I will admit, my finest mothering hour. I would have felt bad about my nurturing deficiencies, but then my friend (of the Fridge of Shame fame) admitted to me that her son couldn't come play with David today because he had no clean clothes left to wear.
I love my friend.
It's just a post-Election, post-Halloween, post-Houseguest breakdown, really. My sister-in-law left early this morning and I woke up to a house strewn with used craft items and leftover candy. I also woke up to the realization that all the fun campaign news is over. It seems that reading about Obama's transition team isn't nearly as entertaining as hearing the fun stories from the campaign trail. However, my day was a bit redeemed when I found the following news report on all those Obama volunteers:
Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are
This nasty chest cold that I've picked up isn't helping my malaise much. The funny thing is, I feel fine - except for the shortness of breath and the hacking, phlegm-y cough. But I was probably breathing too much anyway. Can oxygen make me fat?
No? I guess it was the Peanut Butter Cup, then. Imagine that.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
As The Food Turns: Freedom Edition
Well, let's put all that election stuff behind us, shall we? Enough of politics absorbing all my time and attention, enough of blue/red distinctions dividing us. Instead, we need to focus on the common ground that is our refrigerators. We all have items begging to be released from the depths of our iceboxes, deep dark menu secrets that we try to hide not only from those who know us best, but even from ourselves. Well, this is the weekly feature where Suburban Correspondent bares all, as it were, and exposes the truth about her housekeeping habits.
We have surprisingly few eligible candidates right now. Wait! Did I say candidates? I meant, containers. We have only 4 containers to photograph this week, and....
Hey! How did that newspaper get there?! Sheesh. Let's try that again.
Okay, that's better. Where was I? Oh, yes...I don't know what is in the bottom container. They may be cooked pinto beans that I put in the freezer to use at some later point. (Stop laughing at me. I can dream, can't I?) The problem with Gladware (or at least its cheap imitations) is that, once frozen, it becomes very brittle. Then, when it comes falling out of the freezer (which happens all the time around here), it shatters. So this container (and its contents) have to go.
Next up - some sausage patties. No one liked them. I don't want to talk about it, really.
Second from the top are leftover refried beans which no one noticed until it was too late. And on top of that are some canned baked beans from Lord knows when.
So, as I do every Wednesday, I will release all these items, as it were, from their prolonged bondage. I can almost hear them chanting as I remove them from the storage container shapes that have defined them for so long, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
Coming up tomorrow: kids, and vomit, and mice. I promise.
We have surprisingly few eligible candidates right now. Wait! Did I say candidates? I meant, containers. We have only 4 containers to photograph this week, and....
Hey! How did that newspaper get there?! Sheesh. Let's try that again.
Okay, that's better. Where was I? Oh, yes...I don't know what is in the bottom container. They may be cooked pinto beans that I put in the freezer to use at some later point. (Stop laughing at me. I can dream, can't I?) The problem with Gladware (or at least its cheap imitations) is that, once frozen, it becomes very brittle. Then, when it comes falling out of the freezer (which happens all the time around here), it shatters. So this container (and its contents) have to go.
Next up - some sausage patties. No one liked them. I don't want to talk about it, really.
Second from the top are leftover refried beans which no one noticed until it was too late. And on top of that are some canned baked beans from Lord knows when.
So, as I do every Wednesday, I will release all these items, as it were, from their prolonged bondage. I can almost hear them chanting as I remove them from the storage container shapes that have defined them for so long, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
Coming up tomorrow: kids, and vomit, and mice. I promise.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Free The Hostages!
[Edited to add: Yay! I fixed the comments! My apologies to all of you who have tried unsuccessfully to comment since last night. Please try again.]
I am prolife.
I am a veteran.
I am a homeschooler.
And I am voting for Barack Obama.
In other words, hardly any of my friends are talking to me right now, save for last-ditch attempts to make me see reason. But I'm listening to other people right now. General Colin Powell, for instance; and The Economist. So, if you want to know why I am voting for a babykilling alleged socialist, please click on those 2 links. They say it much better than I can. (If you are too busy to click on both, read the second one.)
I am also listening to my heart, a heart sick of politicians capitalizing on the blue/red divide in this great country of ours. I'm purple, folks; solid purple. There are many others out there like me, and it is time that we make our voices heard. We want someone who, after winning a close presidential race, will not stand up there and say that he has a mandate (I'm looking at you, President George W. Bush). We want someone who will acknowledge that almost half the people didn't vote for him and who will pledge to seek compromise on the issues near and dear to all of us. Our country has been held hostage by extremists on either end for long enough.
In addition, our military is being held hostage in Iraq, while it is needed elsewhere. Pinned down between warring factions of a society rent by civil disorder, it is being drained of its ability to defend us from new threats which are emerging worldwide. The surge has "worked" not by reconciling these divisions, but by capitalizing on them. It was a wise strategy on General Petraeus' part, good for a short-term solution to escalating violence; but it brings us no closer to the stable pan-Iraqi government we claim as our ultimate goal. Senator Obama is not afraid to state this distasteful truth.
I voted for Senator McCain back in the 2000 primaries. I believe that if he had won that election, our country would be far better off than it is today. But my faith in him is shaken, because Senator McCain's campaign is being held hostage by the far right wing of the Republican party; and we have no assurances that the same would not happen to a McCain presidency. And should something, heaven forbid, happen to him while he is in office, we would be left with a president who is fairly identical to President George W. Bush. The neoconservatives would move right back in to advise Ms. Palin, putting our country at risk once again of a reckless foreign policy and a disregard for important domestic issues.
We prolife centrists have been held hostage by the prolife movement's insistence on a legislative solution to the abortion problem for the last 35 years or so. Women deserve better than abortion, and they deserve a prolife movement that will spend its resources (time, money, talent) on providing them with an alternative rather than on protracted legal wranglings and abortion clinic prayer vigils. A legislative solution to the abortion problem is a chimera - I don't believe abortion will ever be illegal again in the U.S., and (unfortunately) the hard-liners on the left are dead set against any reasonable legal restrictions. Prayer vigils are counterproductive - being raised outside the pro-life community, I am more aware than most in the movement how they do nothing but alienate the people we most want to help.
We need to give these women real help - medical care, a living wage, affordable housing - so that they are not scared to bring children into this world. Some of this help can be brought about by the stated domestic policies of the Democratic candidate. We also need to open even more crisis pregnancy clinics and pour our money and efforts into those. What we don't need is to pin all our hopes (and the future of our country) on voting for a candidate simply because he/she is pro-life.
No candidate is perfect. I am choosing the candidate who is most willing to look for that common ground which unites us as Americans and to build from that. I am choosing the candidate who, while left of center, is still closer to the center than his opponent. I am choosing the candidate who wants to be President of all of the US, not half of it.
Hello? Anyone still here?
Sigh. It's lonely at the center...
I am prolife.
I am a veteran.
I am a homeschooler.
And I am voting for Barack Obama.
In other words, hardly any of my friends are talking to me right now, save for last-ditch attempts to make me see reason. But I'm listening to other people right now. General Colin Powell, for instance; and The Economist. So, if you want to know why I am voting for a babykilling alleged socialist, please click on those 2 links. They say it much better than I can. (If you are too busy to click on both, read the second one.)
I am also listening to my heart, a heart sick of politicians capitalizing on the blue/red divide in this great country of ours. I'm purple, folks; solid purple. There are many others out there like me, and it is time that we make our voices heard. We want someone who, after winning a close presidential race, will not stand up there and say that he has a mandate (I'm looking at you, President George W. Bush). We want someone who will acknowledge that almost half the people didn't vote for him and who will pledge to seek compromise on the issues near and dear to all of us. Our country has been held hostage by extremists on either end for long enough.
In addition, our military is being held hostage in Iraq, while it is needed elsewhere. Pinned down between warring factions of a society rent by civil disorder, it is being drained of its ability to defend us from new threats which are emerging worldwide. The surge has "worked" not by reconciling these divisions, but by capitalizing on them. It was a wise strategy on General Petraeus' part, good for a short-term solution to escalating violence; but it brings us no closer to the stable pan-Iraqi government we claim as our ultimate goal. Senator Obama is not afraid to state this distasteful truth.
I voted for Senator McCain back in the 2000 primaries. I believe that if he had won that election, our country would be far better off than it is today. But my faith in him is shaken, because Senator McCain's campaign is being held hostage by the far right wing of the Republican party; and we have no assurances that the same would not happen to a McCain presidency. And should something, heaven forbid, happen to him while he is in office, we would be left with a president who is fairly identical to President George W. Bush. The neoconservatives would move right back in to advise Ms. Palin, putting our country at risk once again of a reckless foreign policy and a disregard for important domestic issues.
We prolife centrists have been held hostage by the prolife movement's insistence on a legislative solution to the abortion problem for the last 35 years or so. Women deserve better than abortion, and they deserve a prolife movement that will spend its resources (time, money, talent) on providing them with an alternative rather than on protracted legal wranglings and abortion clinic prayer vigils. A legislative solution to the abortion problem is a chimera - I don't believe abortion will ever be illegal again in the U.S., and (unfortunately) the hard-liners on the left are dead set against any reasonable legal restrictions. Prayer vigils are counterproductive - being raised outside the pro-life community, I am more aware than most in the movement how they do nothing but alienate the people we most want to help.
We need to give these women real help - medical care, a living wage, affordable housing - so that they are not scared to bring children into this world. Some of this help can be brought about by the stated domestic policies of the Democratic candidate. We also need to open even more crisis pregnancy clinics and pour our money and efforts into those. What we don't need is to pin all our hopes (and the future of our country) on voting for a candidate simply because he/she is pro-life.
No candidate is perfect. I am choosing the candidate who is most willing to look for that common ground which unites us as Americans and to build from that. I am choosing the candidate who, while left of center, is still closer to the center than his opponent. I am choosing the candidate who wants to be President of all of the US, not half of it.
Hello? Anyone still here?
Sigh. It's lonely at the center...
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Brought To You By The Color Brown...
Sigh. It's almost Election Day, and I'm already feeling let down. What will I do for excitement once it's all over? How can I bond with my teens without funny SNL campaign skits to watch? And how will I be able to push people's buttons without being able to say something like, "I'm voting for the babykilling socialist?"
Dark days ahead, people. Dark, dark days, I tell you. Thank goodness I've got a sizeable stash of Snickers to see me through.
Auntie Kate is still here. She's having a good time, though I can tell she is thanking her lucky stars that she never had children. My having to retrieve the toilet-paper spindle from a poop-filled potty this evening certainly didn't help.
Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else?
The results from my trick-or-treat survey yesterday are inconclusive. I need more responses. What's wrong with you all, anyway? Have you no interest in the sociological implications of a decline in trick-or-treating? Do we really want to live through a cocoa futures crash of inestimable dimensions? The ensuing chaos would make the Crash of '08 look insignificant by comparison (well, to me, anyway).
Let's keep our priorities straight in these turbulent times with an easy-to-remember slogan:
Dark days ahead, people. Dark, dark days, I tell you. Thank goodness I've got a sizeable stash of Snickers to see me through.
Auntie Kate is still here. She's having a good time, though I can tell she is thanking her lucky stars that she never had children. My having to retrieve the toilet-paper spindle from a poop-filled potty this evening certainly didn't help.
Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else?
The results from my trick-or-treat survey yesterday are inconclusive. I need more responses. What's wrong with you all, anyway? Have you no interest in the sociological implications of a decline in trick-or-treating? Do we really want to live through a cocoa futures crash of inestimable dimensions? The ensuing chaos would make the Crash of '08 look insignificant by comparison (well, to me, anyway).
Let's keep our priorities straight in these turbulent times with an easy-to-remember slogan:
Chocolate First
See how clever I was? I made the slogan brown, like chocolate. Or like the water in your toilet, really, while you are swishing poop around in a gag-inducing attempt to find a lost toilet-paper spindle...
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Hello, November!
November's not a bad month. That is, if you don't mind cold and rain and Christmas carols playing in every single store you step into. Right?
We usually get about 65 trick-or-treaters on Halloween. Plus or minus 10, say. Last year, I think we had close to 80. This year? 27. I've talked to friends around here and they experienced the same drop in the numbers of candy-begging urchins. I'm wondering whether this phenomenon is confined to my little corner of the world, or if it is more widespread. Did the number of trick-or-treaters at your door drop considerably this year?
And do you think the drop in numbers was caused by the election? Maybe the McCain campaign, with all its talk of "spreading the wealth" being the same as socialism, discouraged people from participating in spreading the candy around. Or perhaps the Obama campaign's emphasis on change confused people and made them think that it was time to change our Halloween customs.
And for those of you who are thinking, "Hey, Suburban Correspondent, election campaigns have nothing whatsoever to do with Halloween!" - well, I urge you to check out this article, sent to me by the Hotfessional. The sentence about the "crying children" cracks me up every single time.
We usually get about 65 trick-or-treaters on Halloween. Plus or minus 10, say. Last year, I think we had close to 80. This year? 27. I've talked to friends around here and they experienced the same drop in the numbers of candy-begging urchins. I'm wondering whether this phenomenon is confined to my little corner of the world, or if it is more widespread. Did the number of trick-or-treaters at your door drop considerably this year?
And do you think the drop in numbers was caused by the election? Maybe the McCain campaign, with all its talk of "spreading the wealth" being the same as socialism, discouraged people from participating in spreading the candy around. Or perhaps the Obama campaign's emphasis on change confused people and made them think that it was time to change our Halloween customs.
And for those of you who are thinking, "Hey, Suburban Correspondent, election campaigns have nothing whatsoever to do with Halloween!" - well, I urge you to check out this article, sent to me by the Hotfessional. The sentence about the "crying children" cracks me up every single time.
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