Friday, December 12, 2008

NOT About The Holidays

When out driving with the children, make sure to refrain from pointing out a roadside flock of birdies until you ascertain that they are indeed a cute bunch of feathered friends and not a mob of turkey vultures ripping apart a roadkill carcass. The latter, apparently, can be a bit traumatic for the younger set. And for any vegetarians you might be transporting.

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Let's hear it for emergency C-sections! My best friend gave birth early this morning to a 9-pound baby girl - with a prolapsed cord. A very frightening scenario, indeed. But all's well that ends well, as they say...she's now got the cutest little angel in her arms. This is her fifth birth, but first C-section; and she's a bit overwhelmed by how much pain she is in. Can any of you out there give good advice for recovering from a Caesarean? It would be like a baby shower, blogging style.

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It is not yet clear whether Larry and I will still be talking to each other by the end of this joyous holiday season. It depends upon which wins out - the maturity to be expected of a middle-aged adult or my tendency toward holding petty grievances. Has anyone else noticed that the longer you are married, the stupider the arguments can get?

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Anna had a flute recital tonight. There was a couple of hours of pleasant music-making, followed by some refreshments. Or, from the kids' point of view, there were two hours of agonized waiting (involving lots of shushing), followed by copious amounts of cookies and juice. I think Anna's teacher learned tonight not to record a recital held in a church with wooden pews - my kids managed to add quite a few percussive effects to the soundtrack. And, no, I don't know why Brian had those golf balls in his raincoat pocket...

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Time to be off to bed. Aren't you impressed that I didn't waste your time complaining about Christmas tonight?










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27 comments:

  1. Here's my tip on recovering from a C-Section-Make sure that some capable adult is with the recovering mother and baby at ALL TIMES!!!!
    I'm not kidding! The first few days I was not able to straighten up, and I needed help in walking to the bathroom. I have never felt more helpless and vunerable in my life. Now add to that mix a screaming newborn. It was awful!
    If you can fix a dinner and take to her family, I am sure she would be most grateful.

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  2. "Can any of you out there give good advice for recovering from a Caesarean?"
    It's nature's way of saying that after four it ain't going to get any easier. Dare you keep going?

    "Has anyone else noticed that the longer you are married, the stupider the arguments can get?"
    After 36 years I can attest my wife does start a lot of stupid arguments.
    (please don't tell her I said that.)

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  3. I had 2 C-sections. I admit to a fairly high pain threshold, but it is really best to get up and move around as much as you can. I was doing really well in about a week. Just a twinge here and there.

    The first 3 or 4 days are the hardest.

    Congratulations on her new little one!

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  4. 1. LOL, just start singing "Circle of Life" from The Lion King!
    2. C/sections definitely have their place! My first was C/S, the next 3 were VBACs. It's been a while, but the doctor isn't kidding about taking it easy and not lifting. Don't give in to the temptation to haul the vacuum up and down the stairs. And please tell her, if she is upset about the scar at some point (likely not today, what with holding that angel girl and everything) that the scar really does fade over time. Mine took a long time, but it has faded a lot.
    I wish her a safe and speedy recovery!

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  5. Oh no! They get stupider?!?!?! We've only been married two years and the arguments are already pretty ridiculous. I don't think I'll be able to handle it if it gets worse! :)
    The last piano recital we were at for my teen was a Christmas one and they played Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And my 5 year old sang along, complete with the interjections that aren't "really" part of the song! And she's no quiet singer. I'm sure THAT soundtrack is interesting to listen to! :)

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  6. I've found that we find almost nothing worth arguing about anymore. Of course we go to bed a lot earlier so that cuts out a couple of hours of potential conflict each day.

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  7. "Just do nothing" is the best advice for c-section recovery but oh, so impractical. The less you do the faster you recover is generally the way it works so when people offer ANYTHING say "Yes, That'd be just great thanks". And DONT DRIVE UNTIL THE OB SAYS YOU CAN. It can void your insurance but worse than that you can pop yourself back open if you have to brake hard or anything. So, hope that helps her and praying for a speedy recovery and special moments spend cuddling her new bundle while she does "nothing"

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  8. Yes, everytime I pass some elderly retiree couple in the commissary battling in it out, in loud aggitatation, over whether or not they already have a can of peaches in the pantry. Last time I heard, "Well GD it, Helen, you never listen to a GD thing I say." Ummmmm...really...if you don't mind me butting in...I don't think it's about the peaches.

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  9. Wait until your husband has a heart attack or some other life-threatening emergency. Then you will no longer hold petty grievances against him. I'm lucky that mine chose to have his heart attack right after we'd had baby # 5 when I felt completely and utterly vulnerable. Once you have that slap in the face, forcing you to realize how foundationally important husbands are, you will suddenly become incapable of holding petty grievances against him! Works like magic!

    As for c-sections, I've had 5! Gentle walking helps one to recover but it is major surgery so any kind of help (tidying the house, providing dinners, playing with the other littles while the mom naps) will really help towards recovery.

    And she should not drive before she's supposed to. For me it was hauling the infant seat in and out of the car that threatened my stitches!

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  10. So. Yeah. Three kids. Three C-Sections. And each one was easier than the last, despite my advanced age by C #3. The secret? Move around as much as possible as quickly as possible. Yeah, it hurts like the dickens at first, but I got up and moved around ASAP and the recovery time was exponentially faster depending how soon and how much I moved.

    Also? You can, like, spill blueberries all over the floor, the argument can ensue, and suddenly stop, and then you can even say, "Hey, we hardly argued over that!" And laugh.

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  11. C-section recovery: Get the catheter removed as soon as possible. Get up and moving as soon as you can. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. Make sure they give you stool softeners, and yes it will feel like you're going to literally bust your gut open the first time you poop, but you'll survive, honest. (Eat a lot of oatmeal in the meantime.) Don't lift anything over 10 lb. Your husband can do laundry and vacuum. Get a Boppy pillow for nursing the baby, especially a 9-pounder, holy geez. An emergency c-section is a little harder on mama than a scheduled one. Go easy on yourself. And make sure the older kids know not to jostle mom.

    My younger son loves to say "roadkill."

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  12. Yes, arguing after 18 years tends to take on a completely different level of stupidity. ;-)

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  13. Walk, Walk and more walking. With my first C-section my little boy was life flighted to a childrens hospital. Within 48 hours of the surgery I was up and walking. The wheelchair was too cumbersome so I walked everywhere. My recovery was amazingly fast. With my second I tried to walk as much as possible. It wasn't as easy as the first, but much easier than some of my friends who have also had C-section and have taken it easy.

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  14. That lesson on the "circle of life" -- no lesson planning required. Let A Beka try to top that one! ;)

    Can't help you with the C-section. Or the flute recital. I still break into a cold sweat thinking about my childhood piano recitals.

    And the husband arguing thing? Hm. I'm still trying to get The Husband to cut me some slack -- "I didn't say it was rational! I just said I needed to do it!" He has a bad habit of expecting me to be responsible and mature WHEN I'M ASLEEP! (Why didn't I wake up earlier? Because I was asleep!) I never did get him to understand that he was supposed to humor a crazy pregnant woman. I think he married me because I'm (usually) low maintenance. It's an image that I try to maintain! ;)

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  15. I'm all in favor of the emergency C-section, my youngest wouldn't be here without it.

    Recovery tips:

    *Drink LOTS of water and other fluids. This will get everything moving digestively, will help flush out the inflammation from the healing process, and help her feel better overall.

    *Take the pain meds. At this point they've probably got her off the morphine pump and are letting her take Advil at her own discretion. Take it. It helps with the swelling, too.

    *As much slow and easy walking around as possible, but no lifting or over-exerting. Think along the lines of "Mommy's healing stroll to make HERSELF better" not "Mommy's up, can I get you anything?"

    *Watch that incision like a hawk. Actually, unless she's more limber than I, she should have her husband or mom or someone else watch the incision. Any redness, weird swelling, hot feeling, anything that seems wrong...get to the doctor. She DOES NOT want an incision infection. She DOES NOT have TIME for all the hassle and icky painful futzing around you have to do to heal an incision infection. Trust me.

    *Eat protein. She needs to heal up inside and out, and protein is what you need for that.

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  16. Ditto on the above advice...

    Also, take the pain killers. Don't martyr yourself trying to grin through the pain. It'll help you heal because you'll be able to move more which is actually good.

    The emergency ones are definitely harder...

    Drink LOTS of water to prevent constipation and when possible, rest sitting up.

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  17. Our neighbor gal just had one of those emergency C-sections. I can only say I'm offering meals...
    Golf balls probably added a lovely rhythm to the flute melody.

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  18. Sorry no C-Section wisdom here. But I think after giving birth to five she deserves some down time.

    As for the stupid arguements. Wow, they really do happen more now? Humm. I'll just blame them on all the brain cells I lost giving birth to his six kids. That and no matter what I'm always right so he'd just better get used to it.

    O.K. now I'm putting myself back in the no-whining corner.

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  19. The golf balls are funny-stories-in-waiting is all, to dangle before them to embarrass them when they're in front of their friends in their teens. Heh.

    I *think* my kids put a superball inside the studs in the main hallway before the drywall went over them while we were remodeling, so that come the next big earthquake...

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  20. LOVE the caution about the birds - so sounds like something I would do.

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  21. I've had three C-sections. My advice it to make sure to take the pain medicine on a regular schedule the first couple of days. Don't wait until the pain gets worse. And getting up and walking (though very slowly) also helps. I did a couple laps around the nurses station with my husband pushing the baby in the bassinet.

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  22. LOL!
    I can't believe how stupid the arguments have gotten between my hubby and I. Hey, at least we're not arguing about important stuff like religion or politics, right?

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  23. Congratulations to your friend on her newly born angel.

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  24. Colace is your friend. So is lots of fiber. But -- take it from one who knows -- don't suddenly bombard your body with 100% of you daily fiber value oh my goodness misery. Anyway, straining after a c-section is misery. And there will be straining, I'm sorry to say.

    Keep a little pillow with you on hand at all times. Even though you know it really won't happen, every time you laugh, sneeze, couch, strain, you will be sure that your stomach is going to split open and all your innards will spill out onto the floor. I got a cold a week after my daughter was born. It was terrible.

    Develop a fake laugh. You'll sound like an idiot, and you'll feel like an idiot, but belly laughs are not your friend.

    Don't vacuum for a long time. It's... unpleasant.

    Go for short walks every day, but don't overdo it. The exercise makes you feel human, but if you overdo it, you'll be even more exhausted than you ever thought possible.

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  25. Oh! One more thing. The pain meds are AWESOME, but they're also constipating. I got off mine as fast as I could handle it and started popping ibuprofen like candy. Probably not good for the stomach lining, but I really didn't care after that first week.

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  26. This is my last one, I promise.

    I had a ten-pound-plus baby. I started out with a Boppy. It was definitely better than nothing, but after a while she started to just sink right into it, and the pillow would always creep away from my body, leaving my enormous baby right on top of my incision.

    I then ordered a My Brest Friend, which, despite the incredibly stupid name, is worth its weight in gold.

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  27. Can I borrow your kids tonight...it's the school carol concert..it could do with livening up!

    C section - don't do as a doctor friend of mine did, on being taken up to the ward to recover...she stood on the bed, with one foot on the side table, so that she could take a photo of her new baby in it's crib! At that moment the nurse reappeared and was none too impressed, especially as the Mum in question had removed her drip to complete this exercise!

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