Saturday, January 18, 2020

Holidays? What Holidays?

We held our annual New Year's party 4 days early, because former neighbors were visiting and they wanted to see everyone. Which meant that, for the first time in 13 years, we didn't have to spend New Year's Eve getting our house ready for a party the next day. This felt weird. We ended up watching a (very bad) movie and then playing Monopoly. And then, New Year's Day? Nothing.

Do not watch this movie. Ever.
I mean, we must have done something, but I have no idea what it was. Maybe that was the day we went to the mall and I experienced the Miracle of the Jeans. You see, Susie convinced me to try on the jeans that all three of my daughters wear, and I agreed only because they are the only jeans that come in a short enough length for me to wear uncuffed.

I didn't expect much, because I am extremely apple-shaped and jeans that fit my hips and legs WILL NOT BUTTON around my belly, even with my truly excellent shapewear. Or, if they do button, the waistband digs into my stomach and makes me feel awful. Or they just look like crap. In other words, trying on jeans is a sure way to completely ruin my day, and really, should anyone be doing that on the first day of the new year? No, they should not.

But my beloved JAG jeans betrayed me this year by discontinuing the style that fits midgets like myself. The three pairs of jeans in my closet have holes in them, and NOT in stylish places, so there I was. Desperate. Forced to throw caution and good sense to the winds and risk dressing room humiliation.

Reader, they fit me. American Eagle, high-rise jeggings, extra short. I could weep with joy.

I'll never be at the level of tucked-in shirt, though
So this is the first time in years that I've been able to wear jeans that actually button (instead of my JAG pull-on ones). You know what this means? It means that I won't be walking around in public with my pants on backwards by mistake, that's what.

That link is much more amusing than today's drivel. You should read it.

Oh, what happened to December, you ask? Approximately 6,000 holidays happened. And there were house guests. And adult kids staying. And that early New Year's party I mentioned. All this. It felt like a blur. Because, yeah, there was the job thing, too.

I swear, you'd think I was the first blogger in the world who actually had to work full time outside the house. I am such a whiner.

At the beginning of the festivities-filled month, Rachel had just stopped coughing from the epic croup virus she picked up right before Thanksgiving. Everyone in the house was all Glory, hallelujah! because frankly? It was driving us nuts.

And then? She picked up a new virus, which resulted in her coughing THE REST OF THE MONTH.

We tried everything, including a zillion dollars' worth of my miracle cough drops. She kept coughing. Actually, I think she just stopped last week. Or maybe my wearing those earplugs at night did the trick. I don't know.

So! We started the month of December with house guests, finally managed to get a tree sometime in the week before Christmas (which essentially bore down on me with all the delicacy of a freight train), gifts showed up beneath the tree (thank you, Amazon, even if you ARE evil), and food miraculously appeared on our table Christmas Day. I have very few memories of any of this, and gee, wouldn't it help if I blogged more frequently than once a month?

Side note: Our tree looked pretty pathetic this year. It had some weird sort of duck tail effect with its bottom branches that bugged me every time I looked at it. I was going to show you, but apparently I forgot to take a picture of it. Or maybe I hated the duck tail so much, I chose not to? I can't remember.

Speaking of trees, check out the hat my friend knit:

It lights up!
We had friends over for Christmas dinner, the same friends as every year. Sometimes? Traditions are nice. Although, come to think of it, the tradition of cleaning up my entire house on Christmas morning because we're having guests later is one I could definitely do without.

Also, Uncle Matt and his girlfriend (who has been around since 2012, so maybe I should give her a name already?) showed up. And David flew in from Texas, where he helps build space rockets (that happen to be paid for by my evil Amazon purchases and yeah, I feel a little conflicted about that), and spent Christmas with us, which helped a lot, because he likes to bake. Also, it was nice to see him.

Brian was here, too, home from school for the holidays. He put up with us fairly well.

We had Chinese food for Christmas Eve, because we're an interfaith family. Also, because we like Chinese food. We all went to see the Star Wars movie for Chanukah, because the good guys are like the Maccabees, fighting the evil empire. But without any dreidels, of course...

We're really rocking the interfaith vibe here, I'd say
I worked at my job through all of this, and yes, I WOULD like a medal, thank you very much.

Speaking of my job, I celebrated my one-year workiversary this month, which was not quite as joyful as it should have been, because one of the other teams got laid off, so we're all just waiting for the ax to fall. I told Larry at one point, "Well, if I do get laid off for a bit, it will be great to get a break - I really need one!"

Because, you know, 12 whole months, right?

And then I realized I had said this to the man who has gotten up every single weekday (minus holidays) for, oh, 28 years and driven in to the office to support our family. Almost THREE DECADES. And has never griped about it.

But, yeah, let me complain to you about my 12 months of telecommuting, all right, Larry? It's been hell.


  1. Finding jeans that fit is truly a Chanukah miracle.

  2. Working and juggling everything else bites. Add holidays and I find it tough to function. Mist of our decirations either went up a few days before Christmas or did not get put up at all.

    That poor girl with the never ending cough- and poor everyone else for going out of their minds listening to it.

    So fun to celebrate with the same folks every year. I am envious of your great neighbors/friends. Our neighbors are sitcom-suckie as in someone could make a show about how ridiculous they are and people woukd find it down right entertaining!

    Congrats on the work-versary.

  3. Did you know there is the "French tuck"? I've seen it all over the internets, so I had to look it up. You just tuck in the front of your shirt, the part over your stomach. I can't do that. Weird fashion statement, I think.

    Love your posts! And love the knitted tree ( or hat?).

    1. It's a hat! She knit it for an ugly Christmas sweater party - much faster than doing a sweater.

  4. Finding short anything out in the world (without resorting to the internet) is next to impossible, I've found. In fact, just after another really bad hem job on yet ANOTHER pair of pjs, I went online and sourced a pair of petite pjs - so it appears they exist, just not in the stores! *sigh*

    That sucks about the layoffs; especially at Christmas. We just went through that last month too; it's awful once you get word what's happening. And then when you start hearing exactly who was let go; you want to weep. We've worked with some of these people for over twenty years.

  5. Oh yeah- wanted to say Jag jeans are the only ones I wear because I am tall. I would be lost without them if they discontinued. And thanks for the bad movie warning. Our worst rental ever was the one about the train in Paris. 15:17 to Paris (had to google it). Consider yourself warned.

  6. Yes but I'm sure you do a bit more around the house too lol. A few years ago I went from working 6 1/2 hours to 8 every day and I still miss those days. It's amazing the difference it makes.

  7. Tele-hell...?

    There's a line where a movie is so bad that it becomes funny ... at least within the family that subjected itself to the movie.

    1. Not this one. It was just grimly, painfully bad. No redemption possible

  8. Jeans are definitely the bane of my existence. Like you, my shape isn't conducive to most pair. And I hate these hip huggers, bring back my mom jeans to cover that belly!

    Sounds like an incredibly busy month. Hope your daughter doesn't catch any more viruses this winter.

  9. I'm glad to see you're still blogging here! My experience at wordpress has been so much easier, although I keep blogspot for more personal posts.

  10. I'm glad you're still checking in once in a while! I hope your team doesn't get laid off as well. I find telecommuting to be difficult. I just feel like I'm obligated to remain chained to my desk, in my own house, and I don't like it.

  11. I've not been working for over a year now and I can't even find time to read blogs (apparently). I don't know how this happens. Maybe I should blame it on my apple shape (except at 5'10" I'm not short, so throw in the tall woman whining).

  12. CONGRATULATIONS on the jeans! That's a really big deal.
    And despite the sick kid, your holiday celebrations sound like so much fun. A lot of work, but really joyful.
    and that tree! What a clever design.