Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Red Carpet Moment

More complicated than they look
Remember this?  It is my paean to the JAG jeans I heard about from Anna at An Inch of Grey, the jeans with a smooth stretchy belly panel instead of an unforgiving snap, the jeans that masquerade as hip yet accommodate the unfortunate ravages of age that we middle-aged women suffer.

THOSE jeans.  I love them.  Just pull 'em on and run out the door - no struggling with the zipper, no trying to hide an unsightly bulge above the waistband.  LOVE. THEM.

So!  Thursday we had ice skating in the morning, plus I had my weekly walk date with a friend beforehand.  I got up early, showered, pulled my jeans on over my exercise pants (because it is still REALLY COLD around here), and away I went.  Walked 2 1/2 miles with my friend, threw the girls in the car, got to the skating rink, chatted with various people there and knitted while the girls skated for 2 hours, and then returned home, where Rachel discovered during lunch that her 2 upper molars were too loose to allow her to eat without bleeding.

Yum. Kids always make mealtime so darn pleasant.

So we dashed to the dentist (whom I love, because they can fit us in like that) and it was there, in the pediatric dentist's waiting room, that I noticed what I should have noticed, oh, 7 hours earlier, BEFORE I started parading around in public. 

I leaned over and whispered to Rachel, "I have a problem."

Her eyes narrowed. "What?" she whispered back.

"Don't  laugh."

"Um...okay.  What?"

"My pants.  They're backwards."

That poor girl took one glance down at my thighs, where my rear pockets were staring straight up at me (as they had been ALL MORNING), and cracked up.  Thanks, honey.

So I am not sure whether this is simply another positive attribute of these jeans (so comfortable, you can wear them backwards and forwards!) or an indicator that I am fast slipping into dementia.  Not only that, but the dementia is SO OBVIOUS that none of the friends/acquaintances I ran into all morning bothered to comment on my apparent wardrobe malfunction. 

Or maybe it's both, right?  With JAG jeans, you can really rock that senile, overweight look you swore you would never have.  At a store near you...

[Jeans image: Zappos]


  1. Ha Ha Ha! Hasn't happened to me yet, but I'l be on the alert!

  2. But,but, but, they were right side out! In my book you are okay.
    And, I consider this the families job. They need to watch out for us.
    Great laugh!

  3. OMG! That is SO FUNNY!
    Maybe you need to sew a big tag on the back so you know???
    My husband was at an event the other weekend and wore his polo inside-out--we were a few hours into the evening when I realized it.

  4. LMAO!

    I'm always like why did no one tell me I had an inch long black hair hanging off my neck? I'm really hoping it's because no one saw it.

  5. Oh, my!!
    You know the solution in this case, right? Put your knitting in your lap.

  6. I have a policy of not embarrassing a lady in public, especially if she is holding what appear to be razor-sharp knitting needles.