Saturday, August 26, 2006

Toilet Stuffing Redux

One week later....a new wrinkle in the toilet-stuffing saga....we discovered, once again, legos and toy trains in and on the toilet. Upon closer examination, we realized that the deed couldn't have been perpetrated by a 1-year-old (cue in Chariots of the Gods? music here)....there was an entire tableau being enacted; the potty was but a stage. A train track was perched precariously across the open seat, with a 3-car train apparently in the middle of a perilous journey across a watery chasm. Tragedy had occurred, in the shape of a lego person afloat below, in the jaws of a lego alligator. It was quite the stirring drama, really. Brian and Rachel swore up and down that they weren't guilty (they tried pinning it on the baby, little lying weasels). Larry had them clean it up and explained quite clearly that no one was to go in there at all. So, of course, a few days later, another little scenario of impending disaster appeared in and on the same toilet, apparently the work of a Duplo Poltergeist, as yet again no one around here would claim credit for it. Anna was considered briefly to be a possible perpetrator, as her 8th-grade English book (which had been missing) turned up at the scene of the crime (no, we don't know why, can't even begin to imagine why); but that notion was quickly dismissed as being too gross an activity for a 13-year-old girl. Theo was busy taking pictures. David was laughing too hard to be guilty. Brian and Rachel were both sent to bed without books and Brian, proclaiming his innocence, cried himself to sleep. I hope to God he didn't do it; if he did, he is the world's best and most brazen liar. Our temporary conclusion is that Rachel acted alone, but conspiracy theories still abound.

Who says life with kids isn't exciting? We just thank goodness no one tried to flush.

Okay, time to get my mind out of the toilet and come up for air. We took another day trip to the beach, and it wasn't even raining this time. It was fun, though it was so crowded in the water that it was hard to avoid bumping into someone. Anna didn't go this time (she had sewing camp), so we all actually got to ride in one vehicle. This was good, as I didn't have to drive; bad, because by the time we got there, Larry and I were already getting on each other's nerves. Marriage is for better or for worse, but not for 3 hours in the car discussing money and kids and not much else. I spent the next day trying to get all the sand out of the house and making our weekly pilgrimage to the library. Today, we did nothing. And it felt good.

Basil and zucchini are doing well in my garden. Cucumbers are trying to grow, I can tell, but nothing much has happened there yet. The tomato plants finally decided to grow instead of die, so we may get a tomato or two before first frost. The basil is almost ridiculous. I feel like the sorcerer's apprentice - those leaves just won't stop coming. I trim off a few branches and by the next day there are double the number in their place. The zucchini is also a bit eerie. One day there aren't any; the next, there's a zucchini the size of a baseball bat lying under all those leaves. The weeds are everywhere - it's only a matter of time before they take over. The situation reminds me of Napoleon trying to conquer Russia - a race between the invader and winter.

Susie is now walking, and she is enjoying it very much. She is also waking up several times a night and I have no idea how to make her stop, short of dosing her with sedatives every evening. I just discovered the emoticons function on my e-mail. Ever wonder what the Declaration of Independence would have looked like if Thomas Jefferson had used emoticons?

Wishing you life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

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