Friday, June 27, 2008

A Willy Wonka Nightmare

[Oh, how embarrassing. I forgot, completely forgot, that people would be coming over today from Derfwad Manor for a house tour. I didn't even get any snacks. Stop by tomorrow, and I can show you some fun photos of our upstairs in complete disarray as I try to relocate 6 children into different bedrooms. It will be fun, I promise. In the meantime, feel free to make yourselves at home and look around a bit. There's a little something for everyone here. And who knows? You might even find my chocolate stash.]

Regular readers know that I am a head-in-the-sand sort of person, preferring to focus on inconsequential, non-earth-shaking occurrences from my tiny, sheltered life in this blog of mine. But today, I spotted a news article that shook me out of my know-nothing complacency. Is it any wonder? Wouldn't the words "potential candy bar shortage" rock your world, too? I thought so.

Lucky for us, the CEO's at Mars candy company aren't equally complacent. They are working hard to keep our chocolate supply steady and secure, despite the ravages of weather and disease. While I waste my time nattering on and on about kids, and vomit, and (yes) mice, these forward-thinking execs at Mars are leaving no stone unturned in their search for the elusive cacao genome.

My favorite line in the article was this:

Cocoa futures fell nearly 1 percent yesterday.

Who knew? Who knew that anyone traded in cocoa futures? Not me. If I saw a cocoa future, I would probably eat it by mistake. Let us thank our lucky stars that the future of the world's chocolate has not been left in my entirely incapable hands.


And that's it, folks...have a great weekend! I'm busy re-arranging all the bedrooms, because - as it turns out - when we moved last year, I managed to put all the kids in the wrong places. It's a talent of mine.

So, Theo is moving downstairs to the guest bedroom that we finally managed to paint and repair; Susie is leaving my room (I hope) to move with Rachel into the bedroom where I had originally (erroneously) deposited David and Brian. I'm moving David and Brian to Theo's old room, because it has a bigger closet where David can hide all his duct-tape-craft-stick creations from his mean mommy. Anna will remain in the room she had heretofore been sharing with Rachel.

Will I experience an outpouring of gratitude from Anna when she comes home to discover that she has her very own room? Don't be silly. She will consider her new solitary splendor as merely her due, her royal birthright. I am hoping she secludes herself in it until she decides to like me again. Which will be, say, 4 years from now. If I'm lucky.


  1. Knowing your love of chocolate, I thought I would mention that Dove now does home parties much like Pampered Chef and Tupperware. Some really yummy stuff (I went to one last night) and if you convince your friends to buy, you get FREE CHOCOLATE!!

  2. Thank you for your inclusion of "nattering," to which I had not been heretofore introduced.

    Have fun with the bedroom swap! I have a friend in Massachusetts, mother of 9, who would do this on a regular basis, like a Chinese fire drill, just for fun. She made the kids do the moving, on a timer. Anything not moved and in company-ready order when the timer went off was confiscated and given to charity. (Her idea of family fun also included filling the bed of the pick-up with water and announcing that they now had a pool in the backyard.)

  3. Chocolate shortage? Oh my. The very thought makes me want to make a suicide pact. I don't want to live in a world without chocolate.
    The bedroom swap smells of moving, which I hate. Good luck.
    Anna probably won't like you at 18 unless she is married and/or moved out by then. 20 is the more usual age for improved parental appreciation. The good news is you can threaten to kick them out after 18 and that increases compliance and being nice to your face whilst dissing you behind your back. How do I know this? I read it in a book, because my kids would never do that to me, nope, not ever.

  4. AnonymousJune 27, 2008

    You shoulda had those HGTV people come do all the work for you. :P

  5. I notice they didn't mention in that article one of the reasons for the cacao shortage is an ongoing nasty civil war in the Ivory Coast. Those people are killing each other to get the cacao fields so we can eat chocolate. Man, I'm depressing lol. Can you tell I just watched a documentary? lol

  6. Chocolate shortage? I feel....liiightheaded...oh. oh. Excuse me. I just ... oh my. What a scary dream!

  7. AnonymousJune 27, 2008

    I just found your blog and have been trying not to giggle out loud for the past 20 minutes or so. I'm at work...(shhhh!)

    As for chocolate shortages, yikes, I'd rather give up my car than go without the dark stuff. (If I stick to organic, that may even be better for the world, too. But let's not get hasty...)

  8. I cannot believe the organizing skills you must have! OMG. I am glad to read I am not the only one who thinks children can share a room.

  9. Cocoa shares, who knew? I'll have to come back for your open house....

  10. Nattering on not, it always makes me laugh!

    Have a great weekend!

  11. AnonymousJune 27, 2008

    Chocolate shortage....

    .....Hen runs round the room, arms flailing and screaming "Noooooooooooooo"...

    Looking forward to coming over tomorrow,

  12. As always, your wit shines through so eloquently in your description of your own stupidity and nothing-knowingness in the eyes of your own children.


  13. I'll be back for the home tour.

    We're moving our two kids into different bigger rooms this summer. I have no idea how to swap out all the stuff. Or where MY stuff will go when I have to cram it into the smaller rooms.

    OK, I'm going to go hoard my chocolate now.

  14. Hmm, 4 years of peace sounds like it would make all that rearranging totally worth it.

    I could survive a chocolate shortage. But a bread shortage would freak me out.

  15. Cool...I like rearranging...nattering or not.
    Chocolate shortages are not good...but cocao futures going down ALMOST 1% ??? That's a great little statistic.
    Blessings, E

  16. Cocoa futures are down? I'm glad I stockpiled those boxes of Cocoa Puffs. Time to cash in, baby!

  17. Good thing I won some Dove chocolate on another blog--no shortage for me.

    You could document the moving process and share that with us.

  18. This is my FAVORITE line -->
    I'm busy re-arranging all the bedrooms, because - as it turns out - when we moved last year, I managed to put all the kids in the wrong places.
    So F-U-N-N-Y!!!

  19. Mmmm, chocolate.
    What did you talk about something else? Oh yeah the open house. I was late to the party as well. Glad I'm in good company.

  20. Sounds like so much fun I am sure we are all chomping at the bit to come over and help. You ae a good mom to do all that though. I want to do it every once and a while but I cannot really think of any other configurations.
    Anna ought ot worship the ground at your feet! I realize this is a pipe dream, but you can't blame a girl for wishing.