Saturday, March 21, 2020

Is This Real Life? Or Is It Just Fantasy?

A lot can happen in a week, right? We went from not being able to imagine keeping our kids from being with their friends to OH HELL NO. Thank goodness for Google Hangouts is all I can say about that.

But, truly, anyone of my generation who grew up Jewish feels like we trained for this. We didn't read all those books about kids hiding from Nazis without picking up a few pro tips for being confined to close quarters for an extended period of time, right?

Also, being raised Jewish means having been trained to rate absolutely everything on a scale of hunky-dory (10) to hiding from the Gestapo (1), and this latest blip so far probably only lands at, oh, maybe a 7. I mean, we don't have to keep quiet all day, we can go outside for walks, we're not fighting over potatoes (yet). And washing my hands a thousand times a day beats the heck out of hiding under some floorboards so Nazis can't find me.

So we're good, right? Tell me we're good.

Here, have a picture of spring:

Remember spring? It's here, pandemic or no pandemic. What's more, a friend of mine went to NJ and brought me back something I didn't think I'd see again for months:

The taste of home
So that feels good, too. Even if New Jersey is, for all intents and purposes, now closed. You know, I didn't even know they could do that.

Susie and I have been baking (just like everyone else in the country, judging from the empty baking supplies aisle). Today was a cheddar-jalapeno version of our no-knead bread. It was excellent.

Seriously, you need to make this
I went back out to the store today in yet another attempt to stock up properly for the apocalypse, and I came back with dishwasher detergent, a baguette, and some bananas. I'm not good at this, people, you know that.

Oh, but Susie made sure we went through the ChikFilA drive-thru this evening to get what she considers to be absolutely necessary:

So I guess we're all set.

And Larry - having observed my total inability to provide the necessities for our family - came home the other night with these, mighty hunter that he is:

The equivalent of the Holy Grail, around here

Sigh. He's dreamy.

I've sneezed twice this evening. Am I dying?

Currently, Larry's working from home, and he has made himself very useful by also taking on the job of nagging Rachel to do her schoolwork. Come to think of it, though, maybe the school will just hand them all their diplomas, schoolwork done or not, because nothing makes sense anymore. And, hey, maybe they'll even cancel the graduation ceremony! Bonus!

As part of our isolation routine, I've instituted a morning event that consists of my playing my "Boppy" Spotify playlist very loudly, just to get everyone (well, every teen) out of bed and moving around. I call it "Pandemic Dance Party," but I'm the only one dancing. If this were a movie, there'd be a sort of time lapse montage, with me dancing by myself at the beginning, but after a couple of weeks maybe one teen would be dancing -- albeit reluctantly -- along with me, and then after a month or so we'd all be dancing together in our living room, even Larry, because being unofficially quarantined is such a family bonding experience.

This isn't a movie, though. This is most emphatically NOT a movie. Here, have some tulips:

That feels good, doesn't it?

Feel free to share survival tips, people. Baking, dance parties, and being grateful there's no Gestapo is all I've got.


  1. I love the bow on the wipes

  2. You are hilarious. I am not Jewish and I fell untrained for this. There was the four consecutive weeks when I had 4 little kids and they each got sick with high fevers and vomiting for 6 days straight. The next kid that got passed the illness didn't bother to start until the previous kid was done, so while it was beautiful and sunny we were trapped inside. No pool, no parks, no zoo. If I survived that - then I can do this.

    Coach and I drove from Chicago to New York Friday at 11:30. Cleared out Lad's apartment and then drove home and arrived at 8:45 pm last night. I was initially not supposed to have to accompany them, and the circumstances irritated me to no end (wrote my last blog post about it). I joked when we drove past a bagel bakery that we should stop and get some because I think we were low at home. Bakery bagels would have been divine, but we were trying NOT to stop or get out of the car unnecessarily, so we didn't.

    Supposedly they aren't counting grades for work done outside of school. Coach almost strangled me when I asked my high school kids: 'Then why bother?' What kind of mother am I? Mini is upset because she stood to get straight A's this semester. She happens to care. I hope they sort that out because it seems wrong.

    I am still baking Irish soda bread. I fear we are low on eggs again though. I am making each of my kids learn to make a meal. If the virus doesn't get us, then maybe food poisoning will? Kidding. This has led to additional trips to the store, so we are fairly well stocked but they guzzled several gallons of milk in the last few days - not even an exaggeration. I was like 'Why would you do that?' They are stuck with skim and they have themselves to blame.

    I hope to organize some more closets. I have girl scout cookies hidden in mine, so maybe I should start there. I cannot find them. I got the girls' closet done. Lad's college stuff is all out in our minivan still and it makes me cry to think of where that will go. I want to cry even more thinking about how hard it will be for a new grad to get a job and how he may be living with us for longer than any of us can handle it. (softly sobbing - because I would not dare to wake up teens - you are a braver woman than I!)

  3. I'm like this is what my Grandma who grew up in the depression was saving everything for. Here we are, waiting in line to get in the grocery store. I just put my last "unwrapped" TP on the spool. I am going to have to open that package I bought 3 weeks ago soon, what will we do when that is gone? Onto the paper towels lol.

  4. I was actually able to score a package of toilet paper today. That felt like a major victory. It's ridiculous that it has come to this. And yes, great minds re: titles!

  5. Since I'm retired, and not much of a social butterfly I haven't really noticed a huge difference in my life. Other than my son being home from work at least but then it just feels like a never ending weekend. Fortunately we're well stocking, including tp so a few weeks of this or even a month won't be impossible. Meals might get a bit boring.

    The dance party sounds fun to me! It won't wake my son but I'll have a good time.

  6. Heyyy.... so my husband moved out on March 1. So now I'm feeling wistful for the idea of getting through a pandemic without being newly separated. (I have the kids, cats, and dog, of course.) And yeah, we're right near the woods, so we can get outside, which is great, and I don't care if any of them do school work, and I have no idea how this affects my oldest's college decisions, and I've been training for a profession that doesn't exist at the moment, I have no way to earn money right now, and I don't know if I'm getting divorced. I'm completely unperturbed at the idea of getting sick on top of all that. Whatever.

  7. We can't find antiseptic wipes or yeast for bread baking, despite looking for two weeks (but we do NOT drive around to every store - that would create unfavorable probability of infection). It's really too bad about the yeast because I could bake bread and bagels which would prevent my husband from dangerously venturing out to the grocery in search of fresh bread. He must have fresh bread.

    I think about Anne Frank at least once a day, and I agree with you - at least we don't have to go into hiding. I also think how grateful I am that there are not bombs falling out of the sky onto us. So there's that.

    Bagels in a paper bag. Those are REAL bagels.

    1. Pssst...check this link out for easy instructions to make your own yeast!