They Say Ya Gotta Stay Hungry...

It's been raining, oh, 4 days straight, or maybe it's 8 days...

Actually it could possibly be 2 weeks. I don't know. No end in sight, though, and we are UNO-ed out. I don't know how Noah survived in that ark for 40 days. Oh, wait, yes I do - there weren't any kids on it.

Plus, this weather is seriously screwing with my diet plans. It's easy to munch happily on salad and fresh fruit and sorbets all the livelong day when the weather is nice and warm. But these cold rainy days have me yearning for steaming mugs of cocoa and toasty grilled cheese sandwiches and such. I did manage to lose 3 pounds this week, but only by starving. I kept having those stupid dieting nightmares where I dream I'm eating a whole bunch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and then I realize I've ruined my diet and I cry.

Everyone does that, right? Or is it just me?

I keep thinking of that stupid joke we told as kids:

1st guy: Last night I had this weird dream that I ate a humongous marshmallow.
2nd guy: So?
1st guy: When I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!

I wouldn't be surprised to wake up one morning and find both my pillows gone.




Thought of this song because of my post title...some people age very well, don't you think so?

Hello, Humiliation!

It has been raining the proverbial cats and dogs around here lately, and of course both umbrellas which I bought myself in the past year are nowhere to be found. Neither is my raincoat. Tell me - are the myriad ravages of middle age - the wrinkles, the sagging, the extra belly fat, the being regarded as hopelessly old by my teen daughter - not humiliating enough without my being forced to go to church yesterday wielding only a Hello, Kitty umbrella for protection against the elements?

It belongs to Susie, and she was quite upset that it was me and not her that used it. Hey, it's sauve qui peut around here, baby...

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Dear Ants,

I hate you. You are everywhere. You will take over the earth, I know. But for the time being, please get the heck out of my kitchen, my front hall, and my computer desk. Thank you.

Put Your Blog Post Title Here

Well, judging from the comments yesterday, it seems that most people are in the neglectful/squeamish camp when it comes to pulling baby teeth. It's nice to know that I have company. And now Michelle knows that she can abandon her tooth-pulling duties, if she so desires. C'mon, Michelle! Stop making the rest of us look bad, with all that diligent dental attention you lavish on your children.

Oh, and near the end of the comments, "Anonymous" left a link to a video that I "must see." I was scared to click on it, in case it was gross. Anyone else care to be brave enough to check it out and let me know if I want to watch it? Please?

Today was a good day, until I discovered ants invading my kitchen at 9:30 this evening. Larry ventured outside in the dark and sprayed the foundation of the house. Wasn't that nice? You'd think we were still dating or something.

Once, soon after we met and he was still besotted with me, he dashed out in the pouring rain to roll up the windows of my car. He came back inside soaked but happy to have been of service. After almost 2 decades, he would still roll them up, it's true; but he'd be annoyed - no longer is my forgetfulness a charming trait. I think it's more of an irritating pebble in his shoe, actually.

I guess 19 years can be a long time to put up with me. The more I think about it, he probably went outside and sprayed so that I would just shut up about those darn ants, already. Poor guy...

[Edited to add: Okay, the video is cute, not gross - thanks for checking it out for me! All about a little girl trying to fool the Tooth Fairy - and in French (with subtitles)! It always amazes me how little kids can speak a foreign language...]

The Tooth Of The Matter

I was intrigued to read in Scribbit the other day that Michelle pulls out her children's loose baby teeth. She was, in fact, complaining that this job has fallen to her because her husband is too squeamish.

Let me add that I am with her husband. Just reading her post made me want to vomit.

But here's the thing (as I wrote to her): In all my years as a parent, I have never even considered pulling out a loose baby tooth. Did I miss something in the parenting manual? Are we supposed to do this? It's true that Anna managed to swallow not one, but two of her baby teeth - is it because of my neglect of this essential duty?

(We had Anna write an explanatory note to the tooth fairy, by the way, and she still received compensation. Whew.)

Michelle explained to me that her dad always pulled out her baby teeth when they were loose. She never even considered that there could be another way. The let-'em-wiggle-it-until-it-falls-out-way, say...the please-don't-even-show-it-to-me, wrap-it-in-a-napkin-and-shove-it-under-your-pillow way...

So, it's time for a poll - how many of you are proactive like Michelle (and her dad)? How many of you are lazy and neglectful and/or squeamish like yours truly?

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And here's the best tooth fairy story I've ever heard, which was told to us by a former parish priest. Apparently, after earning an entire dollar for the first baby tooth that he placed under his pillow, he was entranced by the money-making possibilities of the whole tooth fairy deal. His family had a puppy which was at that point losing its first teeth, so he spent weeks assiduously collecting the discarded canine canines (ahem) and dreaming of the riches that would soon be his.

Oh, his parents tried to warn him: "It's not a good idea to try to fool the tooth fairy." But he was sure that she couldn't tell the difference and he put all the teeth under his pillow one night, confident that he would wake up in the morning to a pile of crisp one-dollar bills.

The next day, he found something under his pillow, all right - a very large Milkbone dog biscuit.

I like his parents.


[Puppy image credit: DIY Puppy Training]

This Little Piggy....

Now here is a helpful website, for any of you fellow hypochondriacs...

Enjoy your (maybe last) weekend!