Thursday, April 17, 2014

Animal House

As mentioned here before, I am not a pet person. I certainly don't hate animals, but I don't feel any special connection with them, either. Over the years I have, of course, received periodic requests to lift the no-pets rule in this house, and the answer has always been NO.

NO PETS. No getting up in the middle of the night with a sick animal, no cleaning up dog vomit, no sky-high vet bills to make us cancel our summer vacation.  I read your blogs and Facebook, people - I see what you go through. And, yes, I do those sorts of things for my kids, no problem - but I just won't do it for a dog or a cat or a bunny. I don't have it in me.

This scares me
Which makes it all the more strange that I found myself in a vet's office today with a weepy Rachel and a sick rabbit, a creature that she had happily agreed to pet sit for while our neighbors were away.  Neighbors I was unable to reach by phone in order to ask what to do with a bunny who wasn't sitting up or eating. Neighbors who, I am afraid to say, now have a hefty vet bill that I ran up for them.

Who knew that sick rabbits needed X-rays? Not me. Not until today, at least...

So now that rabbit (who is looking much perkier after his price-y saline injections) is IN MY PET-FREE HOUSE, because we are supposed to keep a close eye on him. And he has medicines I have to give him twice a day. Twice! Which can be tricky when I can't even find his mouth.

You know, David had pneumonia when he was four years old, and he only needed one type of medicine. This rabbit has three bunny-sized prescriptions that I have to dole out. THREE.

I hope you weren't expecting this story to end with my experiencing some sort of animal-loving epiphany. Like I said, I don't have it in me. Plus, my eyes itch. And my den smells like a barn because of the big bag of hay we brought in with the rabbit. And I may be developing psychosomatic asthma.

But Rachel is happy. Which makes up for the overwhelming feelings of incompetence I am experiencing as I look at this bunny and exhort him to eat his hay and drink his water and STAY ALIVE, PLEASE, until his people come home.

Maybe I should send them a postcard saying, "Wish you were here"?


[Bunny image: Grit]

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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Baby, You're As Cold As Ice

I know, I know, this recent cold snap has been disturbing for everyone, but don't worry - I've fixed it.  You see, an entire month ago our gas fireplaces both went out, simultaneously.  Larry and I, with our laser-sharp rocket scientist brains, determined that it was not just a cosmic coincidence and that we needed to call a repairman.  And even if we hadn't figured that out, well, our incompetence at lighting pilot lights would have made a repair call necessary, anyway, right?

You don't know what you've got til it's gone
So! All this occurred in the middle of Mulch Madness and the water heater breakdown and, let's face it, it was mid-March, so we felt no real urgency to fix the things.  I mean, it gets WARM around here in mid-March.  In the end, Larry said he would look for the repair guy's number but never did.

Our fireplaces remained cold and dead.

And it snowed.  A freak snowstorm in mid-March.  Who knew?  And we sat there and said to each other, "Gee, it sure would have been nice to have these fireplaces working," and Larry said, "I'll find the guy's number," and then he didn't, because now it was PAST mid-March and who the heck gets 2 snowstorms in late March, anyway?

WE did.  It snowed AGAIN.  And I said, "I sure would like that guy's number," and Larry said, "I'll look for it tonight," and he never did, but I didn't care much, because it was ALMOST APRIL, for heaven's sake, and there would be no more cold to suffer through until next fall.

Only, there WAS more cold, and after a while I got snippy and Larry found the damn number (and, yes, I know, we have a wonderful marriage, but hey, it works) and WE CALLED THE REPAIRMAN, who said he couldn't be there until the next week.  So we made an appointment for today and said to each other, "Like it matters now, how long he takes, it's WARM now."

And it rained ICE last night, after dropping 20 degrees in 3 hours, and there was a frost warning in effect and we huddled in our cold basement next to our non-working fireplace, watching TV while wrapped in wool blankets, and we said, "Gee, it sure would have been nice if we had fixed these things a month ago."

So, yeah, the unprecedented cold and all those spring snowstorms?  They were our fault.  We challenged the weather gods, and they called our bluff. I'm sorry.

30s in every Continental U.S. state this morning 
Really, REALLY sorry.

The end.


[Fireplace image: CPSC.gov]
[Weather map image: Facebook/Weather Matrix]


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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Cookie Master

You know what's a good day? When you finally remember to DO something about the mold growing on the ceiling above the tub, instead of just forgetting about it until the next time you take a shower. It wasn't hard, either - I just spritzed some Tilex mold and mildew remover on the spots, hit all the grout on the tub walls while I was at it, scrubbed the walls with a toothbrush ( not mine) for 12 minutes, rinsed it off, and then fetched David (tallest person present) to wipe down the ceiling. Easy!

So easy, in fact, that one just has to wonder why the heck it took me 4 months to get around to doing it...

Can't touch this...
Next up? Chocolate chip cookies - because it is raining and the temps have dropped 20 degrees since yesterday and SOMEONE has got to make things cozy around here.

Me - that's MY job. I am the official Maker of the Coziness, and if you think that that job title doesn't really rock a resume, well...you've just got another think coming.






[Cookie image: CookIt!]

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Wednesday, April 09, 2014

The Plague, Revisited

New illness rampaging through our household - some high fever/headache thing that has been going around. Ran out of kids ibuprofen, went to the store to get that and a few other items, and came home with (can you guess?) everything BUT the medicine we needed. Kept falling asleep at random points throughout the day, but managed (with the kids' help) to bake a birthday cake for Brian (14! Tomorrow!) and scrub my kitchen floor (out-of-town guests! Tomorrow!).  Not bad for a sick day, right?

Have to go cuddle Susie now, poor little sickie that she is...

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Friday, April 04, 2014

Feeling Foolish

Okay, I am done sulking about April Fools Day. Until next year, that is...

On our plates for this weekend? One Civil Air Patrol convention, one Girl Scout "campout" at a museum, one First Communion "retreat" (all 3 hours of it), yoga class, and a 5K walk for MS (not so much for philanthropic reasons as for the purpose of keeping a friend company).  Also, I will be attempting to get back on my bicycle for a training ride. Yes, that's right - still flush with my success at surviving a 30-mile bike-a-thon last year, I let my fit friend convince me to sign up for a 58-mile ride this year.

This was a stupid thing to do. STUPID.

I have less than 2 months to get into shape for biking the sort of distance I haven't attempted in nearly 30 years. And I have to bike it on my old-lady bike, because I am still too scared to get on a regular one. This is where peer pressure gets you, people - up the proverbial creek without a proverbial paddle. Or whatever the bicycle equivalent of that would be...

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