Saturday, May 08, 2010

A Mother's Fantasy

Bathroom-cleaning day is on Sunday around here; but I scrubbed the toilets and tubs today instead. Why? Well, because I wanted to have a housecleaning-free Mother's Day.

If you think about it, the level of self-deception required to rationalize the above is quite impressive.

My idea of a day off also includes not having to hear children whine for food. So I am going to bag and label their lunches and put them in the fridge. Tonight.

A tad extreme? Maybe. But I find I am needing some time when I am not doing anything for someone else. Also? I want an entire day when I do not have to order people around. I am so sick of the sound of my own voice.

(Note to Larry: do not say, "Yeah, I know what you mean.")

I have a sort of fantasy of motherhood, you see - a sort of throwback to 50's TV, I suppose - where I lounge on the couch in my tidy house; clothed attractively in my pedal pushers and cute blouse, I am holding a book and a glass of something cold and refreshing, while my adoring children stop by to give me a kiss and then run off to play (quietly) (happily) on their own.

A girl can dream, can't she?

[Photo credit:]


  1. Well, I'm not going to clean on Mother's Day OR in anticipation of it. I will do my usual Monday Fallout From The Weekend cleaning. Same ole, same ole 'round here, Mother's Day and all.

  2. Enjoy yours, though!!

  3. Sigh. I'm getting up tomorrow and going to the market with two of three kids, because I can't bring the helpful one, because he has a baseball game. If I don't go, the kids won't have any fresh fruit for their lunches on Monday. What day? Huh? Is tomorrow something special?

  4. thank goodness I get to share Mother's day and then send them to their dad's for the "day after." So no shopping, no cleaning, no cooking. Oh right, I did that all today. busted just like all the other moms....

  5. my adoring children stop by to give me a kiss and then run off to play (quietly) (happily) on their own. If only......

    It's already Mother's Day here. I've already broken up several fights, cleaned up the kitchen, folded three baskets of laundry (that I washed yesterday in the hopes of having less work to do today) and fed the children twice - all before 11am!

  6. Ahhhh... last year I told Hubby I wanted to go out fro dinner on Mothers Day. (We always bbq and I do all the work.) Well, since he has a seminar to attend on Sunday, he and the boys took me out for dinner on Friday night... which means I get to cook on Sunday after all. Oh well.

    Happy Mothers Day.

  7. It's 12:04. Happy Mother's Day S.C. I do the same thing for Dad's day. Isn't parenting really just a series of self-deceptions anyway? Hell. I fooled myself into thinking I was qualified for it.

  8. I'm NOT cooking tomorrow. Breakfast is do-it-themselves, they are taking me out to lunch, and dinner? Hmmm....I will drop the hint/bomb that they can cook it. I may have to go shopping, though.

  9. If it's going to be true '50s TV, you're holding a cigarette and Larry is at the nightclub singing Babaloo. ;-)

    Happy Mother's Day!

  10. Dream on!

    Did you know that Mother's Day came about because of one mother working for women's rights and her daughter gave people flowers in her (then dead) mother's honor, and then The Industry tried to distort the gesture and the poor daughter spent the rest of her life and savings fighting against what we now call Mother's Day?

  11. I've lowered my standards to where Mother's Day means I don't touch poo. Sure, my twins are now 10, but I'm keeping the rule.

    The Boy is getting into the spirit of it, and I'm encouraging him -- to get his dad out and cooking. ;) I'm hoping to raise a boy who give girls pretty presents. I do want him to move out someday...

  12. I went for the totally practical for mothers day. Someone left the big cabin tent on the patio under the canoe all winter, after I spent way too much time mending it with my old but trusty sewing machine. The boys set it up again when it got hot a few weeks ago, as I did not get the airconditioners in until last week. The tent must be dry rotted, as it tears very easily now. So I bought hubby a new 7 person tent from cost co for Fathers day and he bought me another for Mothers day. Plus we both got very thick comfy sleeping mats for us. The kids get the leaking air mattresses, as they are the ones who jumped on them and broke them. :)

    I'm at work and won't be home until 10 pm, but maybe they will finish the laundry and dishes for me before I get home? A mom can dream.

  13. Hope you had a great Mother's Day! Your toilets look great, BTW!

  14. AnonymousMay 09, 2010

    Motherhood is all about self-deception! But if that's what brings sanity, I have no problem with it. Hope you're having a good one.

    P.S. Pedal pushers are so underrated. Love the Mary Tyler Moore pic!

  15. Next year, I hope you'll have graduated to The Kids Fend For Themselves, and The Toilets Remain In The Same State For Two Weeks In A Row. You did all the work, just early! Sounds like there are some fannies to be kicked around there.

    My husband actually believes men should do ALL the toilet cleaning. This, after a bout with B-12 vitamins rendered his pee flourescent orange and spangles appeared all over the tile all over the bathroom. He doesn't think anyone else should have to clean that up. Ladies, I saw him foist.

  16. AnonymousMay 10, 2010

    I so did not read this post in time to salvage my Mother's Day.

  17. I set my sights a tad lower this year: all I asked was for my husband to teach/direct/oversee the boys cleaning their own darn bathroom.
    And they did. Ta-da!!
    It will probably never happen again, but at least for Mother's Day, it wasn't me scrubbing their bathtub. And now I KNOW they can do it.
    I also folded 3 loads of laundry, but I sort of enjoy that.