Saturday, July 18, 2015

Who Knew?

My ticket to modernity
Okay, so a few months ago I got tired of mooching off everyone else's GPS and took the plunge. That's right - this tech dinosaur bought an inexpensive smartphone, hooked herself up with an inexpensive prepay plan, and thus launched herself into the 21st century. And she hasn't looked back.

Look, the flip phone was becoming embarrassing.  And, unlike Larry, I do not labor under the delusion that printing directions from MapQuest is the latest thing on the technological front. The day when some carpool plans changed abruptly and, miles from home and anything resembling a computer, I was expected to know how to drive to a city in a bordering state? That was the last straw.

So, since this watershed purchase, life has been good: the girls have been fascinated by my cheap-o LG model, I can take a picture whenever I like, and I have not once gone over the 1GB of data allotted me per month by Verizon.  And now that he is leaving for college, we offered to buy David an inexpensive smartphone, with him being responsible for the monthly expense of actually being able to use it.  So David did some research and figured out the best (read, cheapest) phone/plan and off we went to Best Buy to procure for his 18-year-old self what all the other kids in our town receive by the age of 16, at the latest.

On a related note, David just got his driver's permit the other day.  So, yeah, we're about 2 years behind on everything.

Where was I?  Oh, yes, David's new phone.  Later that day, Susie noticed him using the phone.  "Did you get a smartphone like Mommy's?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes," I told her. "He's paying for the service, though.  He needs one like that at college."

"So now he has a phone JUST LIKE yours?" she repeated.

"Yes, he does, sweetie," I said.

"Well!" she said, "We're starting to look like a real FAMILY here!"

So there you have it, folks: forget the regular meals eaten together, or the camping vacations, or the shared holiday traditions.  If what you want is to engender a sense of family, that feeling of belonging and clan identity, all you need to do - according to my 10-year-old - is buy everyone his very own smartphone.

Who knew it could be so simple?


  1. My husband hung onto his old flip phone so long that AT&T offered him a free upgrade to a smartphone because they could no longer give him service on his old phone (it wasn't 3G compatible). He's walking around here rather smugly this week, listening to music on headphones, answering e-mail,sending voice-activated text messages... He's ahead of the rest of our little family -- even the married twenty-somethings!
    Meanwhile, I'm using my not-so-old flip phone (which I secretly like).

  2. Hahaha! My husband has a smartphone with unlimited data, yet he still refuses to use the map function and prints out directions from mapquest.
    Susie's observation is hilarious and maddening all at the same time. :)

  3. Ha! I guess this means we're definitely NOT a real family.

    1. I'm sorry I had to be the one to break it to you!

  4. Now that is a modern definition of a REAL family, I guess. Very funny!

  5. We switched to my daughter 'owning' the phone account, and now I'm the $10 second phone. My I-phone is her old 4s and I am just barely able able to use SOME of the features, although not Maps or Facebook. I really prefer a printout of Google maps and I can only have Siri get me places if Lillian sets up my trip in advance. Or stay home. That's good, too.

  6. Ha! My husband still has a flip phone and for the longest time declared that's all he needed. Then he got an iPhone at work and has been hankering after something a little more up to date for his personal phone.

  7. Ha ha! Family as defined by phone! Your daughter's comment is priceless.

  8. I love this and am also the dinosaur in the corner weeping for the future. I do have an iPhone, and my kids have "smart" phones as well, but I did so under the pretense of me being a single mom and them needing to contact me or the authorities no matter what. I realize now that's kind of a cop out and given the financial straits we've been in, not the brightest move. Suze Orman would probably yell at me for it.

    I am there with you on the driving thing, though. My kids don't get driver's ed through their school, it's a separate thing that costs about $500. Therefore, my kids don't get driver's ed unless they can pay for most of it. So far only two have done so. They also can't take their driver's exam or get a license OR drive my car unless they pay for the expenses and the insurance. My eldest, at 21, went off on his own and got his license and bought a car. He pays for all of it by himself. Sigh.

    I kind of miss the good old days! I love this post.

  9. AnonymousJuly 20, 2015

    You're all so...MODERN now!