Hypochondria, Unleashed

Sometimes, I like to fantasize what my life might be like if I could take a shower in the morning without 2 little girls in the bathroom with me, bickering over which one gets to unwrap Mommy's Kotex. Just in case you thought there was a cure for sibling rivalry, I'm here to tell you that no, there isn't. Siblings will fight over anything. They're programmed that way.

I managed to pierce my foot on some sharp piece of jewelry crap on the girls' room floor this morning, and the doctor's office recommended that I come in for a long-overdue tetanus shot. So, blowing some finely-laid morning plans to hell, I headed out, down my ice-glazed steps and to my ice-glazed car, which I couldn't open. So I called the doctor's office to tell them that my car was frozen shut. Meanwhile, Theo, always intrigued by a challenge, went outside to see what he could do and came back in to report that the reason I couldn't get the car open was because the doors were...um...locked.

I hate smart-aleck teens, don't you? Especially when they're right?

So now I am defrosting the car. Hopefully I will remember to go back out before I run out of gas. Because otherwise I would be stuck here without a tetanus shot and my inner hypochondriac would take over and convince me that death is imminent. And that would result in my devoting my day to what any mother would do if she felt that her time on earth was soon to end - I would try to organize all the thousands of pictures on my computer so that my poor motherless chicks would at least have a few happy memories of their childhood.

I really don't have the energy to do all that right now, so I think I'll go outside and check on that car.