We made fudge today. Peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies yesterday. Lemon bars tomorrow. Maybe we'll throw some steaming cups of cocoa in there for good measure. I'm glad I was smart enough to put off returning to Weight Watchers until January. I don't care how much I have to starve myself for 10 months a year, as long as I can have my holiday goodies.
Because it's holiday time - time for the children to fight over which color candles to put in the menorah, which wooden tree ornament to decorate with markers and glitter glue, which bowl they get to lick. Next week, they'll fight over who wraps which present. Yes, indeed, it's a magical time of the year - magical in that, somehow, I manage not to kill them. Now they're throwing dreidels at each other and screaming. I don't know why. And I don't care.
Larry (with great trepidation) informed me that the tile guy (for the kitchen floor, remember?) isn't showing up this Sunday, after all; but he will definitely be here the 14th. Yeah, I believe that one. I think I have more of a chance of Santa actually showing up here than that guy.
Hey, do you think Santa does floors? Or maybe one of his elves? That would be so cool, wouldn't it? I believe in you, Santa, I believe! I'm not like that cold-hearted chick in Miracle on 34th Street. And, hey, we left you some very nice beer last year, to wash down those cookies with. Yeah, the John Adams Christmas Ale....nice stuff, wasn't it? Well, there's more where that came from, if you know what I mean (wink, wink). And I've been a really good girl all year. Though, if you prefer naughty, I can do that too....
I can't believe I typed that. Coal in my stocking this year, for sure....
Larry is out this evening with David at Cub Scouts. David doesn't like Cub Scouts, but he looks cute in the shirt. That's good enough for me. So, anyway, I get to put everyone to bed tonight and do all the dishes and as soon as I'm done goofing off here I'm going to clean the stove. Yup, just another exciting Tuesday evening here in our household. And Anna is mad at me because I just told her that I'm not going to Target this evening. If she had done those dishes for me, I might have considered taking her, you know. Maybe I should offer to let her scrub the stovetop. I bet she'd like that.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
My Brain Is Empty
Today I got more visitors to this site than I ever have before. Which means, I'm more popular when I don't post....I think. Oh, well.
Nothing of note happened today. Anna was pleasant (well, that is somewhat remarkable, now isn't it?), Theo made latkes, Rachel fell asleep before dinner, Susie wet my bed (as usual) because I forgot to put her diaper on her (as usual), and David had fun flying a kite he made out of fishing line and a plastic grocery bag (it was a tad windy here today). He looked rather pathetic, like a poster child for a Toys for Tots campaign.
I'm starting on my annual schizo December breakdown - what with Chanukah, St. Nicholas Day, Chanukah, Christmas pageants and parties, flute recitals, Chanukah (some holidays overstay their welcome), Christmas tree decorating, and gingerbread house construction, I turn into a snarling, Grinch-type creature by the morning of the 25th. It ain't pretty. When did the holidays turn into an endurance test, anyway?
No funnies here tonight, folks. Too tired. Go on over to humor-blogs.com for some laughs instead. Tell 'em I sent ya.
Nothing of note happened today. Anna was pleasant (well, that is somewhat remarkable, now isn't it?), Theo made latkes, Rachel fell asleep before dinner, Susie wet my bed (as usual) because I forgot to put her diaper on her (as usual), and David had fun flying a kite he made out of fishing line and a plastic grocery bag (it was a tad windy here today). He looked rather pathetic, like a poster child for a Toys for Tots campaign.
I'm starting on my annual schizo December breakdown - what with Chanukah, St. Nicholas Day, Chanukah, Christmas pageants and parties, flute recitals, Chanukah (some holidays overstay their welcome), Christmas tree decorating, and gingerbread house construction, I turn into a snarling, Grinch-type creature by the morning of the 25th. It ain't pretty. When did the holidays turn into an endurance test, anyway?
No funnies here tonight, folks. Too tired. Go on over to humor-blogs.com for some laughs instead. Tell 'em I sent ya.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
'Tis The Season
Bia over at La Dolce Vita has tagged me with a meme, and I'm actually in the mood to play along. Maybe because it's easy. Plus, Anna has been working on an essay for A Christmas Carol for her ninth-grade English course; so the meme theme (hey! did I coin that phrase?) fits right into the Christmas Past, Present, and Future motif. Bia would like me to name 3 favorite gifts - my favorite one from Christmas past (as a child), one I enjoyed receiving now as an adult, and one I would like to receive in the future. No problem!
Christmas Past - I grew up Jewish, but I always went to my friend's house for Christmas Day when I was little. I'm sure I received many lovely, thoughtful, even price-y presents from my friend's parents throughout the years; but the one present I remember, the present that my friend and I jumped up and down in ecstasy over, was a little cardboard box full to the brim with Bazooka bubble gum. And it had a little handle to carry it around with. That's all it takes to make a child happy, folks. Sugar. Portable sugar.
Christmas Present - I always get chocolate with almonds. Always. Because, despite living with me for 17 years now, my husband has no idea what else to tell the kids to get me. When I mention this to him, he mutters, "Well, you don't like jewelry," as if that exhausts the list of gift alternatives to chocolate.
One year, my oldest, in a burst of gift-giving creativity, gave me a little doo-hickey that blows dust off my keyboard. So maybe chocolate isn't such a bad idea, after all.
Christmas Future - A baby. Yup, I love babies. Nothing better than a Christmas baby. I'm crazy.
And I'm dying to see what Barb and Sue and MadMad have to share on this topic.
Christmas Past - I grew up Jewish, but I always went to my friend's house for Christmas Day when I was little. I'm sure I received many lovely, thoughtful, even price-y presents from my friend's parents throughout the years; but the one present I remember, the present that my friend and I jumped up and down in ecstasy over, was a little cardboard box full to the brim with Bazooka bubble gum. And it had a little handle to carry it around with. That's all it takes to make a child happy, folks. Sugar. Portable sugar.
Christmas Present - I always get chocolate with almonds. Always. Because, despite living with me for 17 years now, my husband has no idea what else to tell the kids to get me. When I mention this to him, he mutters, "Well, you don't like jewelry," as if that exhausts the list of gift alternatives to chocolate.
One year, my oldest, in a burst of gift-giving creativity, gave me a little doo-hickey that blows dust off my keyboard. So maybe chocolate isn't such a bad idea, after all.
Christmas Future - A baby. Yup, I love babies. Nothing better than a Christmas baby. I'm crazy.
And I'm dying to see what Barb and Sue and MadMad have to share on this topic.
Working For A Living
Some of you may have noticed (and wondered at) my 7-year-old doing the laundry. Makes it look as though I'm teaching them the value of teamwork and responsibility, right? But appearances are deceptive. First of all, it ain't quality work. If you ever eat here, make sure to rinse your silverware first. Second, the children aren't exactly running around singing, "Whistle While You Work." Instead, my kids all sound as though they work in a union shop -
"It's Tuesday, it's not my day to empty the dishwasher - I set the table."
"Rachel empties the silverware - I do the dishes."
"I watched Susie yesterday for 20 minutes. It's Theo's turn."
Sheesh - do those seem like the sounds of teamwork and responsibility to you? I doubt it.
Occasionally Larry or I will do all the dishes, and each time we're amazed at how easy the job is. What with all the whining and groaning that goes on around here, you'd think we were asking the kids to move 2 tons of rubble from the sink to the dishwasher each evening. But we persist in assigning them the chores, because otherwise they'd be sitting around fighting with each other while Larry and I did all the work.
Theo went out and got himself a seasonal job at Barnes and Noble. I wanted to call the person who hired Theo and say, "He is handsome, isn't he? And so responsible! You won't be sorry you hired him, I promise you." But I restrained myself.
I have no idea why I am so excited - must be a first-born thing.
I told Anna she had to finish her schoolwork from the past week before she could go out this weekend, and she didn't even break anything. We consider that progress. She did mope around in her bathrobe until past noon, however. Now she's out babysitting and acting like a normal human being. None of my friends believe a word I say about her. Maybe she should consider a career on the stage.
David is still trying to construct a functioning space station out of duct tape and craft sticks. I can't tell if he is really, really smart or really, really stupid. And he just informed me that the amount of paint on a jumbo jet adds almost 600 pounds to its weight. Like me and Christmas cookies...
Larry spent today painting the kitchen, in an attempt to atone for the fact that he ripped out my kitchen floor over 2 weeks ago even though the tile guy isn't coming until December 14. The job went fairly quickly, as he didn't have to worry about getting paint on the floor. Because it isn't there. Or have I mentioned that already?
Time to stop goofing off and start cleaning up around here. Though it is hard to tidy things when all the kitchen furniture is in the living room and there are boxes of kitchen floor tile distributed throughout the main floor of the house. Not exactly the relaxed, uncluttered look I strive for...
"It's Tuesday, it's not my day to empty the dishwasher - I set the table."
"Rachel empties the silverware - I do the dishes."
"I watched Susie yesterday for 20 minutes. It's Theo's turn."
Sheesh - do those seem like the sounds of teamwork and responsibility to you? I doubt it.
Occasionally Larry or I will do all the dishes, and each time we're amazed at how easy the job is. What with all the whining and groaning that goes on around here, you'd think we were asking the kids to move 2 tons of rubble from the sink to the dishwasher each evening. But we persist in assigning them the chores, because otherwise they'd be sitting around fighting with each other while Larry and I did all the work.
Theo went out and got himself a seasonal job at Barnes and Noble. I wanted to call the person who hired Theo and say, "He is handsome, isn't he? And so responsible! You won't be sorry you hired him, I promise you." But I restrained myself.
I have no idea why I am so excited - must be a first-born thing.
I told Anna she had to finish her schoolwork from the past week before she could go out this weekend, and she didn't even break anything. We consider that progress. She did mope around in her bathrobe until past noon, however. Now she's out babysitting and acting like a normal human being. None of my friends believe a word I say about her. Maybe she should consider a career on the stage.
David is still trying to construct a functioning space station out of duct tape and craft sticks. I can't tell if he is really, really smart or really, really stupid. And he just informed me that the amount of paint on a jumbo jet adds almost 600 pounds to its weight. Like me and Christmas cookies...
Larry spent today painting the kitchen, in an attempt to atone for the fact that he ripped out my kitchen floor over 2 weeks ago even though the tile guy isn't coming until December 14. The job went fairly quickly, as he didn't have to worry about getting paint on the floor. Because it isn't there. Or have I mentioned that already?
Time to stop goofing off and start cleaning up around here. Though it is hard to tidy things when all the kitchen furniture is in the living room and there are boxes of kitchen floor tile distributed throughout the main floor of the house. Not exactly the relaxed, uncluttered look I strive for...
She Said, He Said
So, I had to do our monthly commissary shopping trip today (that's the military version of a grocery store) and I sent the boys to do some chores before we left. A few minutes later, forgetting they were still working, I said, "Okay, everyone, shoes on, let's go!" Whereupon Rachel (5) marched to the top of the basement stairs and yelled, in her very best boss-the-boys-around style,
"Brian! David! Get your shoes on! We're going!"
And Brian (7) bellowed back, "Rachel! I'm doin' the laundry!" in an exasperated, male, give-me-a-break voice.
Gee, I wonder where they picked up those methods of communication?
It was funnier if you could hear it. Larry and I laughed until our stomachs hurt.
In other news, I spent 560 dollars on food today. Did you?
And, we have more gray stripes on our living room wall. We needed to argue for a couple of hours over whether Larry had inadvertently switched the sample-paint-can lids, an argument which necessitated painting Misty and Gray Screen (or what we think were Misty and Gray Screen) directly next to what we know were Misty and Gray Screen (are you following me here?) to see if they matched. This is not a healthy exercise for any marriage.
We have yet to decide which color to paint the kitchen; it's hard to pick the right color without the tile floor in place yet (not that there is anything wrong with not having a floor in one's kitchen) (ahem). Let it be known here that I was perfectly happy with the kitchen we had originally; it was painted a cheerful apple green, with an ugly yet serviceable linoleum floor. But Larry suffered the childhood trauma of growing up with a kitchen decorated in a 1970's-style avocado color, which rendered him allergic to any shades of green in a food preparation area. We all have our issues, I guess. His are just weirder than most.
In short, it's hard for me to imagine that there are people who enjoy the process of painting and renovating their homes. To me, it's more agonizing than...than...well, than knitting. And way more expensive.
My time is running out here - at midnight my blog turns into a pumpkin and NaBloPoMo is over. Thanks for listening to me every day for an entire month - I think it's taken some of the pressure off my husband to actually pay attention to what I'm saying. So he thanks you, too.
"Brian! David! Get your shoes on! We're going!"
And Brian (7) bellowed back, "Rachel! I'm doin' the laundry!" in an exasperated, male, give-me-a-break voice.
Gee, I wonder where they picked up those methods of communication?
It was funnier if you could hear it. Larry and I laughed until our stomachs hurt.
In other news, I spent 560 dollars on food today. Did you?
And, we have more gray stripes on our living room wall. We needed to argue for a couple of hours over whether Larry had inadvertently switched the sample-paint-can lids, an argument which necessitated painting Misty and Gray Screen (or what we think were Misty and Gray Screen) directly next to what we know were Misty and Gray Screen (are you following me here?) to see if they matched. This is not a healthy exercise for any marriage.
We have yet to decide which color to paint the kitchen; it's hard to pick the right color without the tile floor in place yet (not that there is anything wrong with not having a floor in one's kitchen) (ahem). Let it be known here that I was perfectly happy with the kitchen we had originally; it was painted a cheerful apple green, with an ugly yet serviceable linoleum floor. But Larry suffered the childhood trauma of growing up with a kitchen decorated in a 1970's-style avocado color, which rendered him allergic to any shades of green in a food preparation area. We all have our issues, I guess. His are just weirder than most.
In short, it's hard for me to imagine that there are people who enjoy the process of painting and renovating their homes. To me, it's more agonizing than...than...well, than knitting. And way more expensive.
My time is running out here - at midnight my blog turns into a pumpkin and NaBloPoMo is over. Thanks for listening to me every day for an entire month - I think it's taken some of the pressure off my husband to actually pay attention to what I'm saying. So he thanks you, too.
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